It’s very tempting for me to snarkily say, “Does anyone actually give a shit about the MTV Movie Awards?” But I loved the hell out of them when I was growing up, so I have to imagine kids and tweens are still into it. Why not? Objectively they are no stupider or less relevant than the Oscars. Actually they’re far more relevant because regular people get to vote. The Oscars never gave a Lifetime Achievement Award to Clint Howard. So fuck the Oscars.
Jokes aside, the MTV Movie Awards introduced me to Jackie Chan, who also received their Lifetime Achievement Award the year before Rumble in the Bronx hit theaters in America. I’d never even heard of the dude, and it was because of the clips MTV showed of Chan that I saw Rumble, which in turn sent me and my friends hungrily delving into Chan’s whole catalog. So there you go. The MTV Movie Awards are super important!
Anyway, if you give a shit, this year’s show will be hosted by Jason Sudeikis (who is apparently possibly the father of January Jones’ unborn baby that she is apparently having, I just learned), live on Sunday, June 5. You can vote for shit here if that’s your jam.
Here be the nominees…
Best Movie
“Black Swan”
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
“Inception”
“The Social Network”
“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Best Female Performance
Emma Stone, “Easy A”
Emma Watson, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
Jennifer Aniston, “Just Go With It”
Kristen Stewart, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Natalie Portman, “Black Swan”
Best Male Performance
Daniel Radcliffe, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
Jesse Eisenberg, “The Social Network”
Robert Pattinson, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Taylor Lautner, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Zac Efron, “Charlie St. Cloud”
Best Breakout Star
Andrew Garfield , “The Social Network”
Chloë Grace Moretz, “Kick-Ass”
Hailee Steinfeld, “True Grit”
Jay Chou, “The Green Hornet”
Olivia Wilde, “TRON: Legacy”
Xavier Samuel, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Best Comedic Performance
Adam Sandler, “Just Go With It”
Ashton Kutcher, “No Strings Attached”
Emma Stone, “Easy A”
Russell Brand, “Get Him to the Greek”
Zach Galifianakis, “Due Date”
Best Line From A Movie (New Category)
Alexys Nycole Sanchez, “Grown Ups”: “I want to get chocolate wasted.”
Amanda Bynes and Emma Stone, “Easy A”: Amanda Bynes: “There is a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.” Emma Stone: “Tom Cruise?”
Jesse Eisenberg, “The Social Network”: “If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you’d have invented Facebook.”
Justin Timberlake and Andrew Garfield, “The Social Network”: Justin Timberlake: “… A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool?” Andrew Garfield: “A billion dollars. And that shut everybody up.”
Tom Hardy, “Inception”: “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger darling.”
Best Villain
Christoph Waltz, “The Green Hornet”
Leighton Meester, “The Roommate”
Mickey Rourke, “Iron Man 2”
Ned Beatty, “Toy Story 3”
Tom Felton, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
Best Fight
Amy Adams vs. The Sisters, “The Fighter”
Chloë Grace Moretz vs. Mark Strong, “Kick-Ass”
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint vs. Death Eaters, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
Joseph Gordon-Levitt vs. Hallway Attacker, “Inception”
Robert Pattinson vs. Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuel, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Best Kiss
Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, “Inception”
Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, “Black Swan”
Best Jaw-Dropping Moment
James Franco, “127 Hours,” Cuts Off His Arm
Justin Bieber, “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never,” Performance Spectacular
Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page, “Inception,” Paris Café Scene
Natalie Portman, “Black Swan,” Mutilation: Pulls the Skin off Her Finger
Steve-O, “Jackass 3D,” Port-A-Potty Bungee Stunt
Best Scared-As-Sh– Performance
Ashley Bell, “The Last Exorcism”
Ellen Page, “Inception”
Jessica Szohr, “Piranha 3D”
Minka Kelly, “The Roommate”
Ryan Reynolds, “Buried”
Biggest Badass Star
Alex Pettyfer, “I Am Number Four”
Chloë Grace Moretz, “Kick-Ass”
Jaden Smith, “The Karate Kid”
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, “Inception”
Robert Downey Jr., “Iron Man 2”