I grew up reading comic books, so it’s not uncommon for me to think (or just pretend) that something happened to reality and that I am now living in a strange and changed world, or have been pushed into an alternate universe.
Today I woke up and read the news and felt just like that. What sort of crazy event in the past of this alternate world could possibly explain the nonsense I read today? Could it be that in this reality Kennedy didn’t die? Maybe the South won the Civil War. Or more likely, some vital thinker of the past was stillborn. What else could explain a pilot for an ongoing Aquaman show?
That’s right – I woke up today in a world where Arrested Development is being cancelled and Aquaman is getting his own TV show. In this fucked up reality Aquaman’s guest shot on Smallville was popular enough to warrant a spin-off for the Man of Fish.
Tragically the actor who played Aquaman on Smallville will be getting canned (get it? That’s a tuna joke) and Miles Millar and Alfred Gough, the Smallville producers who are creating the Aquaseries, will look for a new actor to have his career ruined by being associated with the single lamest superhero ever.
It was just a few months ago when the idea of Vincent Chase starring in an Aquaman movie was hilarious. Suddenly it’s a real possibility (not the Vincent Chase part – unless he’s a real guy in this reality). I want a Crisis to come and take me away.