Well, this is somewhat late. Better late than never, right? Let’s get down on it.

Shoots First and Leaves.

The circle is now complete for all of those who cried themselves to sleep at night throughout the past couple of decades. Yes, we’re talking about the behemoth Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (read Nick’s take, Devin’s take, Russ’ take, and Steve’s take), a title you surely guessed thousands of years ago before Lucas even fired up his own screenwriting software. The final saga pitted many on both sides of the fence, but the fact is Episode III is the best one of the first three films and fits snugly inside of Lucas’ universe he created and you took to unnaturally obscene levels. I don’t think anyone was expecting this film to be the massive epic of pomp and circumstance that was built up by the Internet community, since while wildly uneven, Anakin’s turn to the darkside was beset by stilted acting via the previous 4 hours of story (but those spectacular images!). And unless you’ve been spending your time making sweet, sweet love to your Leia cardboard cutout, you already know what happens, so I’ll save you the details. As it stands, Anakin’s infamous turning sequence is rather over-the-top and a certain shot involving a monstrous screaming of the word the French call ‘non‘ might make you leery of what you’ve seen, but the film is entertaining enough (battles and space creatures and Sam Jackson … oh my) to create a tiny amount of cause for a Endor celebration. I will say this, though, and that’s that Episode III supposedly made one Mr. Steven Spielberg cry, so now you don’t have to feel like you were the only one wiping away those tears and snuggling with your worn Jedi blanket as the end credits started to roll.

Audio commentary by writer-director George Lucas, producer Rick McCallum, animation director Rob Coleman, and ILM visual effects supervisors John Knoll and Roger Guyett, some exclusive deleted scenes with introductions by George Lucas and Rick McCallum, "Within a Minute" documentary film about the making of the Mustafar battle, "The Chosen One" featurette: George Lucas traces the myth of Darth Vader through episodes 1-6, "It’s All for Real: The Stunts of Episode III", a 15-part collection of Lucasfilm’s Web documentaries, the Star Wars Battlefront II trailer and Xbox game demo, the Star Wars Empire at War PC game trailer, "A Hero Falls" music video, DVD-ROM content that includes a free trial of Hyperspace, a never-before-seen production photo gallery, the poster and print campaign, and some teaser and theatrical trailers await your undying devotion to all things Lucasfilm Ltd.

Millions!Danny Boyle, the man who’s tried a variety of genres from Zombies to thrillers to dead babies crawling on walls, focuses his roving eye on the young children’s morality tale of Millions (read Devin’s enthusiastic review, the one you ignored while he called it a ‘modern classic‘). It only seemed like a natural progression to go from having Ewan McGregor slither down one of the nastiest toilets in film history to having a group of precocious young boys discover a busty bag of cash, so really no one can accuse Boyle of going soft or forgetting to tell good stories with all of his talent. Two brothers, one named Damien (that’s an oh-so subtle hint), the other Anthony, stumble upon a bag containing Pounds, one week before the UK’s official changeover to the Euro. It just so happens that Damien has a rather imaginative mind, seeing people and things that may or may not exist (as evidenced by the smoking Nun in the trailer), so he turns to little bro to make sense of what to do. Naturally, both have wildly different agendas for what to do with it. Parallel to all of this, the man who stole it originally is on the hunt and looking for it. With a dash of Blank Check (a Miguel Ferrer staple of some childhoods), Boyle’s movie could have had the sort of schmaltzy heart tugging that makes you shudder and turn on whatever crappy amateur horror film is on cable. However, I’ve heard absolutely nothing but great things about this movie, and the upside is supposedly it never regresses into the dreaded finger wagging that destroys other vibrant (Devin’s word) films into a seeping pile of mush.

Audio commentary by Boyle and writer Frank Cattrell Boyce, a behind-the-scenes featurette, some deleted scenes, and the film’s theatrical trailer come coupled as Special Features.

WOW 1953While you eagerly anticipate the recent transformation of War of the Worlds (Cruise and Spielberg arrive on 11.22), now’s the time to revisit the original film, the George Pal spectacle of heat rays and Los Angeles turmoil. This was the first film version after Orson Welles terrified radio listeners across the country in the 30’s, and the result will either plaster a smile on your face or roll your eyes into the back of your head. Considering that last case, you might hate movies and deserve sleepy dreams of doom. Ann Robinson and Gene Barry are the two strictly heterosexual heroes, who must float to stay alive against the oncoming horde of Martians with their white-hot laser rays and cunning stealth probes that destroy as much as they do wow. And since, like the update, the military is powerless to stop it, it’s up to the scientists and cleft-jawed heroes of the world to band together to figure out a final solution, one not involving evil moustaches and rigid salutes. Yes, I just went there. Byron Haskin and George Pal’s film is filled with such great imagery and a tremendous amount of love and awkwardness went into their special effects (and dialogue) of pummeling people and places, so it’s no wonder this film inspired quite a number of future filmmakers to try their own hand at entertaining the masses when not under attack.

Some very nice extras include audio commentary by actors Ann Robinson and Gene Barry, a second track with film director Joe Dante, film historian Bob Burns and Bill Warren, author of Keep Watching The Skies!, The Sky is Falling: The Making of The War of the Worlds, H.G. Wells: The Father of Science Fiction, the original theatrical trailer – and the big kicker – the original Mercury Theatre Radio Broadcast of The War of the Worlds. It’s a fun time all around.

Seriously?It seems like every new repacking must fall victim to a cutesy name, and Office Space – Special Edition with Flair! happens to be the latest fatality, alongside with the extras scattered throughout the disc. Supposedly, Mike Judge wants nothing to do with this film, so I can see why. Exactly how many people do you know that endlessly quote this film day-in and day-out? In that respect, the cultural phenomenon has infiltrated everyone (except Fox’s DVD extras department, who seemingly dropped the ball). Judge’s great observational moments still ring as true yesterday as they do today; traffic jams, turning down your Rap music, reacting to cheery Mondays Women, and Breast Exams on television are still as common as the unnecessary amounts of work loaded onto you at all hours. And in Office Space, it’s still the characters that get the most amount of laughs. It’s still Ron Livingston’s show as the dead panned drone worker who takes Peter Finch’s word a little too literally to heart. Simply by doing nothing, except a little Superman III action here and there, his performance is expertly tailored to those around him. Even in his shoes, you want to punch as many people into the stratosphere and cause their heads to explode. I’d do a little III action to accomplish that.

Out of the Office: An Office Space retrospective with Mike Judge, some deleted scenes: Peter Lies to Lumbergh, Happy Hour and Chotchkies, Peter Goes off on Nina, & Tom’s Mixed Heritage Called into Question, and the film’s theatrical trailer make up a fairly weak series of additions.


Duff understands her audience, which judging by this website includes
ten deviants in a particular lower forum and those forced with underage
‘tween daughters to trek along to have their souls pilfered. In her
latest, The Perfect Man (you’ll see no review here – and like it!), the
serendipitous casting choice of placing Duff with Heather Locklear
stands out, in part because you almost feel like they might truly be
mom and daughter. The seemingly pedestrian plot has Locklear moving her
daughters to different locales across the country once her
relationships have gone sour. This by no means leads to the types of
personal problems that many adults suffer on in the later years of
their lives, in fact, doing this to young impressionable girls will
surely inspire them to seek enlightenment and refuge of such forward
thinking. But that’s a moot point, as Duff has to come to some sort of
rescue, wishing to stay finally in one place, by using Mr. Big’s advice
to send her flowers and cards under the ruse of someone else. These
sort of shenanigans seem to work well in Duff films, so you can
definitely look forward to most of the scenes undercut with today’s
hippest and hottest bands. I’ve always wanted to hear what it sounds
like when Good Charlotte helps me feel through the pain of my

Commentary by the filmmakers, 3 featurettes (Mom
& Me
– Hillary and Heather talk about their Onscreen
Mother/Daughter Relationship, Getting the Perfect Look, and On the Set
with Hillary
– Blogs and Buddies), some deleted scenes and outtakes
accompany this disc like white on rice.

AofDIf you’ve ever wondered what James Cameron was up to in between bouts of counting and recounting all of his residuals from Titanic, your question is answered with Aliens of the Deep (and Ghosts of the Abyss – but not many saw that?). Instead of blowing it all on money and one-eyed hookers and frothy inebriating beverages, he’s chosen to spend most of his time cramped inside of a submarine taking it out on his own film crew. Focusing in on the mystical world of abundant energies (like the ones protruding from your pants after visiting hottopicnerds.com), Cameron develops some theories about how life may evolve on other worlds, like Jupiter, Uranus, and your face. There are creams for that, you know. Cameron’s prescription for feelin’ good is to show you some things you’ve most likely never seen before; a fish with some feet, things that swim in boiling water, and a naked girl (or boy). As true to form, Cameron also serves as Narrator, although I’m sort of disappointed that he didn’t have the faux-French guy on his True Lies tape recorder do it.

Besides the Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks, the only other extra is the inclusion of the original IMAX 47-minute version and expanded 99-minute version, as both versions are in 2D only! Expletives!

Pete and Pete TwoThe theme song in The Adventures of Pete and Pete is about as excellent as winning the lottery or eating yourself silly. The infectious grooves of rock protrude outward into amazing heights, not seen since you last destroyed all of the noobs in Warcraft. The best parts of the show were the relatively wacky instances of surrealism; since how many prepubescent teens have a tattoo on their arms of one mistress of the night named Petunia? If you know one, let me know. I’m guessing the South would be the place. Pete and Pete’s world revolved around an ever-changing need for answers, comedy, and exploits the likes of which remained unparalleled since Legends of the Hidden Temple. Season Two has Iggy Pop joining the cast for some fun times (minus the heroin and depression) and Michelle Trachtenberg makes her debut as the loneliest girl in Pete’s town. The drama is ratcheted up as Pete finally does the unthinkable and asks Ellen out while Dad battles for supremacy of the world’s best lawn (he still loses to my Grandpa, so sorry) in between Artie’s strongman powers. Even younger Pete’s continues his fancy for wiggling his arm, but not in the way you just did minutes prior.

Audio commentary by the cast and crew (Creators of Shows, Michale Marrona, Danny Tamberelli, and Toby Huss), five Pete & Pete short films, and a very vague bonus special await your smacking lips.

Season 4Johnny Depp’s says adios to his undercover classmen in 21 Jump Street – Season Four, along with the man, the myth, the legend – Dustin Nguyen. Season Five finally nailed the ends of Steven J. Cannell’s show into the rerun land coffin. There’s still no shortage of drama, as the antics of these young and acne-free heartthrobs send them to prison, going against a nightclub giving LSD to its patrons (ah, the 80’s), trying to debunk a teenage psychic, and dealing with rape and capital punishment, along with the group joining a motorcycle caravan. There’s more, but the show’s chemistry between the leads, and the breakout star status of Depp really sealed the deal on this one (or maybe it was Holly Robinson Peete’s belting of the theme). Either way, Cannell’s series still continues its nostalgia factor for those who either missed out from snorting too much coke or too much playing with themselves to all of those insanely horrific, yet entirely rewatchable handlebar-moustache porno flicks. Anyway, another caveat of greatness is the fact that Glen Morgan and James Wong (helpers of all things X-Files and having Jet Li punch someone with a motorcycle) aided this show with its words during this season, and whether or not you care is up to you.

This boxed set contains no special features!

old movie alert!Stanley Donen’s Two for the Road is a remarkably funny and droll piece of romanticism, punctured with two great performances courtesy of Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn. Most of you will most likely shrug this one off, but for those looking for some lighthearted comedy from Frederick Raphael, who castigated Stanley Kubrick in his Eyes Wide Open (buy it from CHUD!) writings, might find some of the more back-and-forth interplay between Finney and Hepburn delightful. Afterwards, you can sip some tea while eating crumpets, as I surely do describing this thing. It’s not that I’m elitist or trying to force this film down upon you, it’s just I wish everyone would take the time to watch everything in the past, even if it means sitting through a couple of stinkers. Arguably, Two for the Road isn’t one of them, as Hepburn was as radiant as ever on hers and Finney’s 12-year vacation while Donen has the narrative events jump back and forth in time. It’s a fairly ingenious concept, and by doing so, he paints a picture of the ups and downs of a relationship fraught with stylish hats, rude American tourists (are there any other?), and Finney’s wafting hair.

You’ll get audio commentary from Donen himself (he was pretty good on Criterion’s Charade), a restoration comparison, trailers for Three Coins in a Fountain, Love is a Many Splendored Thing, An Affair to Remember, and Peyton Place, along with a stills gallery and the film’s theatrical trailer.

It’s not particularly a week with many items, so don’t forget to check out these.
Big Fish gets a Special Edition that looks like a Bar Code (although the only extra is a damned Book! Reading! What kind of shit is that?!), Robert Rodriquez’s Mexico Trilogy has all of his previous Columbia films in a new box (the DVDs stay the same), Star Trek Enterprise rips out with its Fourth (and final) Season while Trip lives!, Goglo gets professional, and a Warning Shot is fired, although no one gets hurt (or watches it).

MexicoBig FIsh SEUp up and away
Trip Lives!GolgogogogogoglogogoggooSexy city
BratsSomewhere out thereprivate dick
up yours!McQueen setSeason One

Visine and the Munchies

red eyeI always liked the poster for Red Eye (oddly enough, we never reviewed it here at CHUD), so the words ‘touch yourself’ come to mind with the DVD, which is out on 1.10.06, a mere three thousand hours away. I’ve held off on a number of recent Wes Craven films, if only because as the ‘Master of Horror‘, I don’t feel like he’s achieved that status (yet) because of the thuds in his career. Although his less-than-perfect horror yarns were pleasant staples of anyone’s childhood. Here Craven takes on one of the most frightening things of all: airline travel, in the ways that the person sitting next to you might not be who they truly are. They could be Steve Guttenberg, like a friend once observed, and he could be on the prowl for Flight Attendants. In this case, It girl Rachel McAdams is a strong-willed lady (Tom Jones loves her), and she meets Cillian Murphy, who happens to be sitting next to her, and is out and about to kill the head of Homeland Security. If McAdams doesn’t cooperate, he’s going to punch a hole into her father. Now supposedly Craven takes his skill of being suspenseful and fills the night flight with a level of palpable tension. From what I’ve seen in the trailers, though, that might be muddled in a level of predictable ire and sticky as all hell.

Expect audio commentary from Craven and crew, the featurette: Making of a thriller at 30,000 ft., prepare to Get Inside of Wes Craven’s Mind and figure out why he took on Vampire in Brooklyn and Swamp Thing, and some outtakes and bloopers.

Emily Rose is kinda cute, but a real demonThe first movie of its kind, a sort of hybrid courtroom-horror film (Devin called it ‘Law & Order: Demon Hunting Unit‘), The Exorcist of Emily Rose divided a whole hell of a lot of people I know (it arrives on 12.20.05, right in time for the biggest pagan holiday of ‘em all). Based upon the real-life acknowledgement of an exorcism of the all-powerful Catholic Church, Emily Rose’s predicament is fraught with danger, head twirling, and Satan being the Devil incarnate, fool. Or at least that’s what I remember all of those pop-up ads mentioned a while back while I shuddered into obscurity. Just make sure to read Nick’s interview with the Director here, before shuffling off on your own mortal coil with his set visit here, where he submits for your approval: "Campbell Scott boasts a very powerful (and natural) moustache." In addition to the facial hair that binds everything together, Laura Linney plays the lawyer assigned to Father Tom Wilkinson’s case, especially since he’s been placed on charges ever since Emily Rose has been sent packing into the ether. Now allegedly, the whole Exorcism saw some wild and wacky stuff, repetitions of crouching down and repeated teaspoonfuls of Nyquil, but the only person to truly get their Z’s (forever) was the ill-fated girl.

Two editions are arriving, one theatrical (119 mins), the other unrated (121 mins), but both will have the same amount of extras, like these 3 featurettes: Genesis of the Story – Cast and crew talk about how they first heard of the story, and discuss the writing of the script, Casting the Film – Director and Cast talk about the casting process, and Visual Design – Crew talks about the production design and special effects. More additions will be added soon, so stick around.

Serenity DVDFinally, the big news for today is that Serenity has been officially announced for 12.20 of this year. A HUGE debacle erupted around the film when Devin (a fan of Joss Whedon, no less…) was taken to task by the hundreds of fans (otherwise known as ‘Browncoats’) for firing off the first salvo, by which I mean this article here (and make sure to check out his follow up article right here). The fact is that Devin has some valid points, ones that people might not have considered. But if you were like me (and most of the rest of humanity), you probably stayed away from Joss Whedon’s film simply because you weren’t that interested. His ideas, no matter how valid they may be, and his creativity, is certainly not in question. It’s just I was never a fan of the show, and neither was anyone I know (well, save for two). Hold that against me if you will, but I now plan on seeing the film and forming my own opinion. Judging by the good critical reaction it had, and just like Cinderella Man, it failed to find its audience. With the advent of new digital technology (one of these days I’m going to do another SE ‘tweener about the raging war of the HD-DVD/Blu-Ray contingent), more and more audiences can discover films they missed the first go ’round. Fans should be excited about that more than arguing about numbers and opinions of people they’ve never met and probably wouldn’t hang out with. Oh, and if you didn’t know, Serenity is based around a rag-tag group of Rebels who hide a mysterious fugitive (not Harrison Ford) onboard their (space) ship. By doing this, they anger the evil forces of the universe and must suffer the wrath of their consequences. Kind of like mine last night when I accidentally stopped Zombi 2 while some friends were watching it.

Details are still forming (and could change at any goddamned moment), but expect audio commentary from Whedon himself, a Whedon introduction, 3 featurettes (Future History: The Story of Earth That Was, What’s in a Firefly, and Re-Lighting the Firefly), some outtakes and deleted scenes.

Where the Women are Women and the Men named Angus

Scrimm!Russ talked up the Phantasm – Sphere boxed set a little while back, but now’s the chance to actually purchase it direct from a US-based retailer by clicking on the cover art. For a mere $59.95 you get all 4 Phantasm films (and a sweet bonus disc), surely to engorge some of you and enrage the rest who are still haunted by Scrimm’s silvery balls. Actually, it’s the one (just like in real life!), but for purposes of a cheap and tawdry joke, I needed two. Coscarelli’s films made for a hell of a lot of nightmares and mouths agape when I was younger – how do you scrape those images from your dwarf mind? – so the need for purchasing these films as a whole in a nifty little package is a no-brainer, unless it’s already been taken from you. If you haven’t been inducted into this series of groundbreaking films, just know that there’s a local mortician, one who is called The Tall Man, and he has a little ball with spikes in it to drill into people’s minds. What should be on yours is checking these films out. Not bad for a series started by a young 23-year old with a creative mind! Now consider all of these excellent treats (all come with DTS and 5.1 surround):

Phantasm has audio commentary with Director Don Coscarelli and Stars Michael Baldwin, Angus Scrimm and Bill Thornbury, a Scrimm introduction, some behind-the-scenes footage, biographies, 10 minutes of deleted scenes, and the film’s theatrical trailer. Phantasm II has audio commentary from Director Don Coscarelli and Stars Angus Scrimm and Reggie Bannister, a Scrimm introduction, an image gallery, some biographies, TV spots, and the film’s theatrical trailer.

Phantasm III has audio commentary with Michael Baldwin and Angus Scrimm, some biographies, image galleries, deleted scenes, and the film’s theatrical trailer. Phantasm IV has audio commentary with Director Coscarelli and Angus Scrimm and Reggie Bannister and some biographies.

The Bonus DVD (Disc 5) comes with Phantasmagoria – A Feature-Length In-Depth Analysis on the Phantasm Series and Beyond, with Director Don Coscarelli, Producers Paul Pepperman and D. A. Coscarelli, Stars Reggie Bannister, Michael Baldwin, Angus Scrimm, Bill Thornbury, Kathy Lester, Heidi Marnhout, Ed Gale, Musician Christopher L. Stone and Special FX Designer D. Kerry Prior, Phantasmagorical Mystery Tour – An All-New Featurette in which Reggie Bannister Takes Us on a Mysterious Trip, Phantasm: Genesis An in-depth behind-the-scenes look at specific scenes in the Phantasm series also featuring Interviews with Cast and Crew, Nicotero: The Gory Days – An All-New Featurette with Special Effects Maestro Greg Nicotero, Phandom – An All-New Featurette focusing on the Many ‘Phans’ of the Phantasm Series, a 1979 interview with George Capewell, Don Coscarelli and Angus Scrimm, and a bunch of TV and Radio spots.


Days go by where CHUD’s DVD reviewing staff unleashes twenty titles on you, and as a result, are seemingly ignored by the world. Pipe up your comments and make sure to check them out. You might be pleasantly surprised by a screencap comment or absolutely revolted into killing yourself. Body count this year is around 350 souls.

10/25: House of Wax (Nick’s DVD Rack review), Last Days, Titanic:
, Melinda and Melinda, Rize (Ian’s DVD Rack review), Herbie: Fully Loaded
(CHUD’s DVD review is forthcoming!), Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist
(Nick’s DVD Rack review), Bewitched,
Rebellion: Criterion
, Samurai Spy: Criterion, Sword
of the Beast: Criterion
, Kill!: Criterion, Wizard
of Oz: Collector’s Edition
(Ian’s Massive DVD review),
Tunes: Golden Collection Four
, Alias: Season Four, Strange
Love of Martha Ivers
, American Gothic: Complete Series
(CHUD’s DVD review is coming soon!), Nothing, A Bridge Too Far: CE, Battle
For Britain: CE
, and Tales From the Crypt: Season Two.
Read last week’s Special Edition right here, or I’ll shake my fist
at you.

10/18: Land of the Dead (Dave’s DVD review), Batman Begins (Nick’s DVD review), The Batman Motion Picture Anthology
(Nick’s DVD review), Big Lebowski: Collector’s Edition
(not quite), Mad Hot Ballroom, Legend of Zelda: Complete Animated Series,
the i
, Le Samourai: Criterion, Wages of Fear: Criterion, Lifeboat,
, Saw: Uncut Edition (David’s DVD review), Ma
, Tarzan: Special Edition, Emperor’s New Groove: Special Edition,
Them Who You Are
, Saving Face, Batman Serials, Sabata
, Excessive Force II: Force on Force (Wade’s DVD review), Chained Heat 2 (Wade’s DVD review), Felony and Unscripted. This Special
is two weeks old, so pay no attention to it. Thanks.

I’m a Cheap Whore

My going rate just happens to be listed below.

Browse the multi-region DVD retailers!
xploitedcinema.com, HkFlix.com, diabolikdvd.com, DDDHouse, and YesAsia.com

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