Here at CHUD, we lowly DVD reviewers often get the chance to review excellent titles. From high-visibility stuff like Troy to expensive box sets like Seinfeld: Season 9, we’re given our pick from a large variety of DVD releases. Sadly, some DVD releases are of a diminutive caliber, but since CHUD graciously reviews all DVDs sent to us by our partners, we put out reviews for even the worst crap that comes our way. Here’s a list of some of the more colorful titles I’ve reviewed in the past six months- I give you:
CHUD DVD: WORST OF THE WORST.
Fireplace! 2: The long awaited sequel to FIREPLACE!, FIREPLACE! 2 picks up right where the original left off. It includes the option to play both whale songs and sounds of the rainforest as background music. OK, I actually think that this one’s pretty classy, especially if you’re into hosting soirees, socials, or maybe cotillions. I include this only because I’m pissed off that CHUD didn’t spring for the Blu-Ray version.
CATS: A Purrfect Tribute. Well known smooth-jazz artists from around the world pay tribute to CATS in live performances of some of the most beautiful music ever written. If feline aids could be magically transmuted into a DVD, this would be the result. It’s “Litter”-ally the worst CATS tribute around. Besides the pan flute version of “Memories”, the whole thing seemed neutered.
Slippery Bedspread, The Complete First Season. High Society meets Sensual Sliminess as a group of twenty-something gay gill-men try to discover life, love, and happiness in fast-paced Manhattan. DISCLAIMER: I don’t include this in this “worst of” list just because it’s a gay show. I didn’t even notice that was a gay show until just now. Gay? Straight? What’s the difference?
Dark Hallway 0: You know that scene in horror films where the main guy is in a deserted hallway at night, when all of a sudden the lights start going off at the other end of the hallway (sequentially, and they’re usually accompanied by a CHUNK! noise each time one of them turns off) and he has to outrun the darkness? Well, Dark Hallway 0 is the prequel to that hallway. It tells the story of a basically well-lit hallway and the mysterious lighting issues that begin as a result of shoddy maintenance. It’s a cautionary tale.
Good Luck Chuck
Ladysmith Black Mambazo vs. Predator: This is the crossover film we’ve all been waiting for, but it turned out to be a complete disaster, mostly because it completely ignores any sense of continuity from previous films. Since when can Albert Mazibuko shoot acid from his eyeballs? FAILUREMBUBE.
The Matrix is a cultural milestone still talked about to this day but, it’s creators, the Wachowskis’ later work Jupiter Ascending is often overlooked. Spinning separate folklore into into a sci fi fantasy yarn that dares to ask you to view the world in a different way. Like Nicolas Cage’s National Treasure this film takes … Continue reading — By Sushi-X