Catching up on pulpy shark-related news same as us, I noticed Total Film picked up on a new still from David R. Ellis’s now-titled 3D shark thriller, Shark Night 3D. While I would probably prefer to see a few thousand frames later when there might be a bit of grue, I have a hunch this still actually captures the tone of Shark Night 3D perfectly- women menaced by swimming teethmouths.

"Enough is enough! I have. had. it. with these motherfucking tits in my motherfucker gulf!"

“The story revolves around seven male and female college friends who spend a weekend at a lake house in Louisiana’s Gulf area. When their vacation quickly becomes a nightmare of hellish shark attacks, unheard of in freshwater lakes, they soon discover that the sharks are part of a sick, greedy plan on the part of several locals.”

David R. Ellis is known for another straightforwardly titled piece of schlocky creature madness- Snakes On A Plane. Of course that movie fell victim to its own Ouroboros of internet hype, which the thin thrills of the film couldn’t sustain (similar to The Human Centipede, I think the film would have done much better and been more universally accepted in the horror community had it been released in a vacuum of expectation). Shark Night 3D briefly flirted with a similar situation when Ellis made the remark that he’d love to keep the film titled Untitled 3D Shark Thriller, but thankfully they’ve dropped that idea (if it was ever even seriously considered).

Shark Night 3D is something I think many will be on board with, as it’s another film with a simple, pleasing premise, low expectations, and what many consider to be the proper use of 3D- shallow visual gimmicks. Of course, Shark Night 3D has the reputation of Piranha 3D to contend with, which has set the bar pretty high for cheap water-based tits-and-blood action. At least Ellis has the advantage of being released in September before Piranha 3DD hits theaters (Nov 23rd), a movie that takes Snakes On A Plane to school in terms of blatant titles.

I’m fairly certain there’s two paths for Shark Night 3D- it’s either terrible but chock full of guts and girls with a few memorably insane moments, or it will be terrible and boring. The former will at least seal it a place on the cheesy 3D horror shelf, but the later will be like blood in the water, and all the horror-geek sharks will come to feed. Snakes on a Plane aside, one hopes Ellis’ Final Destination chops will float him to victory here.

EDIT: It had not even occurred to me that this film could be rated anything other than R but, as thegomez points out below, an EW interview has stated that to be the case. Forgive the pun, but what the fuck is the point of a toothless 3D shark-attack film?

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