It was only a matter of time…

The B Action Movie Thread has been a gargantuan mainstay of this site for several years. So, in our continued efforts to dominate the internet in every conceivable way, here is a weekly column. A digest, if you will. Dig in and we’ll see you in the thread!




Rene here with this week’s Cliff’s notes for the thread that moves as fast as Van Damme kicks.

Beginning on page 1428 and ending on page 1430

A discussion takes place on Post Apocalyptic movies, thanks to a new poster in the thread named Iambaytor, who talks about seeing all the movies he can and asks us which ones to recommend. I of course say my standard answers of Endgame, and 1990: The Bronx Warriors, among others.

Gabe T. offers some as well as his take on the ones he’s seen.

Natalia sees Battle: Los Angeles, and found it entertaining. She also spurs a discussion on Jean-Claude Van Damme’s new documentary Behind Closed Doors. Many humorous pictures ensue. Like these.



We then start talking about Van Damme’s Chihuahua, and there’s a confusion over Van Damme not doing publicity on his film JCVD because his dog died, when it was really sick, and that it was instead Mickey Rourke’s Chihuahua that was being thought of.

Hunter lets us know that THE RISE OF JIMMY RAIN aka An Innocent Man will be hitting Blu-ray soon.

The monthly discussion on James Woods appears. This time with talk about Sean Young gluing his dick to his stomach, and Hunter reveals that James Woods along with BOB NEWHART are known as “The John Holmes of mainstream actors”.

BubWilliams sees Kill The Irishman, and raved about it. We are all anticipating that film greatly, but for a lot of us, we’ll just have to settle for seeing it on video.

S.D. Bob Plissken also saw Battle: Los Angeles and liked it as well. I think it’s safe to say that those of us who have seen it approve of it being good popcorn fare.

Wadew1 also posts that Albert Pyun, after working on his Director’s Cut of Cyborg, is now working on a Director’s Cut of Captain America that will be released on Blu-ray in May.

Moltisanti posts an ad for the awesome Drive Angry: Shot In 3D. He of course adds a great quote to it. That is also damn sad.

DRIVE ANGRY coming to DVD, Blu-Ray, and 3D Blu-Ray on May 31st! $12 MILLION IN DOMESTIC BOX OFFICE!!!



Do yourself a favor and buy the Blu-ray of this movie. If you haven’t seen it, you will be really upset that you missed out on seeing it on the big screen.

The Perfect Weapon saw Taxi Driver, and wasn’t as impressed with it as he thought he would be. This leads to some of us telling him to give it another look down the line.

Fat Elvis spurs a discussion on The Green Zone, a film I’ve really wanted to see but haven’t yet. Pragmatic Priest throws in support for The Green Zone.

Walker also had this to say about the book The Green Zone was based on.

Have you read Imperial Living in the Emerald City by Rajiv Chandrasekaran? I’m sure you already know this, but it’s the source material used by Greengrass for The Green Zone. Greengrass really just cherrypicked the elements of the nonexistant WMDs, and the CIA trying to plead the case for trying to established a civilized government that would make the locals comfortable. The book digs deeper than that, and with less thrills, chills, and spills by examining the mundane buraucracy of admin personnel working within the Green Zone(and also explaining the origin of The Green Zone by pretty much debo’ing Hussan’s palace for living and professional quarters).

What disappointed me, ultimately, with The Green Zone is that it made ZERO attempt to capture the surprising MASH like satiric tone that Chandrasekaren’s book almost gleefully established. My favorite part is when The Green Zone was under high alert because of of Uday Hussan’s tigers escaped from the converted petting zoo. Soldiers were running around frantic trying to capture the beast; only to find the animal domesticated beyond belief, and malnourished. One of the soldiers took quick pity and fed the tiger one of his MRE’s.

Which caused the tiger to die.

wadew1 posts a trailer for a movie called The Set Up starring 50 Cent and Bruce Willis. Moltisanti speculates that they only got Willis for 2 weeks, and that Val Kilmer will be upset that he wasn’t asked first.

Gabe T. posts the line up for the next Actionfest in Asheville, NC. (I REALLY wish I could go to that)

So, anyone catch the lineup for Actionfest 2 this year in Asheville, NC? Anyone going?


IRONCLAD – Opening night. World premiere. Swords and chainmail action. Feels like we have had a lot of this in the last few years.

13 ASSASSINS-  Closing night. Takashi Miike. I’ve seen this, and it’s AWESOME. It’s a traditional samurai story, and it starts off pretty straightforward and dramatic. But the action climax involves thirteen ronin boobytrapping an entire TOWN to kill 200 samurai, and it’s pretty fucking incredible. So much bloodshed.

LITTLE BIG SOLDIER – Jackie Chan. Who knows?

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN – As I’ve said before, the best action movie of the year for me so far. Seen it twice, looking forward to eight more viewings.

SUPER – James Gunn superhero movie. Not really action, kinda Troma-y. Perverse. The last half hour is straight action, but it’s mostly splatter. I liked it.

BANGKOK KNOCKOUT – From the Ong Bak stuntteam. That’s all I need to know.

BUNRAKU – Ridiculous-looking green-screen actioner with Josh Hartnett and Gackt fighting samurai and Ron Perlman. Yes, Gackt.

OUTRAGE – Takeshi Kitano’s latest. Return to form, a yakuza thriller. Lots of laughs and bloodshed, with, of course, the action coming in short, sick bursts. Highly recommended if you are a fan.

The Perfect Weapon got to attend a screening of Smokey And The Bandit that had BURT REYNOLDS in attendance. Here’s what he had to say about it.

Anyhow, about an hour ago I got back from Tampa; as I mentioned earlier, TCM had a free showing of Smokey & The Bandit at the historic Tampa Theatre (it was built in the 20’s and the auditorium is beautiful, as it’s really ornate); none other than TCM’s Ben Mankiewicz was there to ask some questions to Burt Reynolds.  I’ll summarize things:

* Burt (wearing a zip-up sweater! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, given he’s 75 years old) mainly talked about how he enjoyed the movie and how it came together. However, he also mentioned some other things, like…

* He jokingly (at least maybe he was joking around) said he only made four good movies: Smokey, Deliverance, Starting Over, and the original Longest Yard.

* Believe it or not, Sharkey’s Machine was briefly mentioned. It had to deal with Burt directing it and a person at the theatre not knowing it was him who helmed the movie.

* He had some nice words to say about Liz Taylor.

* He stated he does not overall regret turning down the role of James Bond as it meant he didn’t have to be identified by it for the rest of his life; however, he DOES regret that Playgirl spread. Believe it or not, one person brought that spread along and in the brief amount of time he signed autographs by the front entrance before they started letting people in, Burt actually did sign it for that lucky fan.

* He stated (and I’ve heard this on TCM before) that he wished he could have worked with Spencer Tracy.

I also have to mention I “only” had to wait in line for about 2 hours before they let people in. I spent some of that time sitting on the ground, though. Other people waited a lot longer than I did; at least I got there in time to snag a nice seat. While waiting in line I got to hear such things as other people discussing comedy routines and Andrew Dice Clay, and brief mentions of Stroker Ace… and, I saw some old sketchy guy walk around, only to stop and vomit on the street. What a lovely image that was.

So, overall it was a great experience for that short interview alone. Then, it was time to watch the movie, and it was awesome to see the movie in front of a huge crowd (I hear the building has almost 1500 seats; many of them were filled), and hearing everyone laugh at the funny dialogue and situations and in general be REALLY happy to see it on the big screen. It certainly ranks up there with my favorite theatre-going experiences.

Jox tells us that Dolph Lundgren is going to be starring in an indie comedy called Small Apartments that will also feature Peter Stormare, James Caan, and Johnny Knoxville. We all support Dolph’s segue into comedy since he’s a damn funny guy, and we hope it’s a success for him.

felix posts this picture of Sly and Arnold right before a feud erupts when Sly tells Arnold he missed a s spot.



Bluelouboyle gives us a preview of what he saw of Van Damme’s Behind Closed Doors.

Well, I caught some of the first episode of Van Damme’s reality show JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS on UK TV  last night.

It was ok, not the best behind the scenes doc I’ve seen, but reasonably interesting because VD is the subject.   We meet his son Christopher and his cuddly old mother and joker dad.  We then follow Jean-Claude as he flies to the Ukraine to film a cameo in Russia’s first 3D movie.  Not sure what it was about but it looked weird.

The best part is when VD stops at a church outside Brussels.  At 3 in the morning.  He proclaims that this is where, at the age of 13, he had an epiphany.  He was going to be a movie star.   He asked God for this, and it came true.  He also asked God to save the world and all the animals, but so far it has not come true.

He then said  “I made an action movie about saving the environment, called THE EAGLE PATH.  I think I failed.”

He then weeps quietly.

felix and Moltisanti post some amazing news from director John Hyams on the much anticipated Universal Soldier 4.

“These days I’m splitting time between the Dragon Eyes edit and US4 pre-production. We’re about mid way through the first cut of Dragon Eyes, and it’s starting to take shape.

I spent a good part of today working with production designer Nate Jones, discussing design concepts for US4. Unlike US3, which was basically a location shoot, this one will involve a number of sets to be built, due to size of the 3D rigs, that call for larger spaces and removable walls. This allows us to design the sets to fit the action, instead of the other way around, which is nice. Still, this one will be an incredible challenge — to shoot this amount of action in 3D on a tight schedule will require great preparation. We don’t have the luxury of figuring things out on the set. Everyone will have to be extremely prepared.

Stylistically, I’m planning on staging some action that plays out in long takes, where things transpire without cuts. In many ways, it’s not just an action film — it has horror elements, and also plays like a psychological thriller. It has a very dark, menacing tone. I want it to be an extremely intense experience for the viewer — one that literally beats the shit out of the audience.

As far as 3D is concerned, I still feel like Avatar did it better than anyone else, and it’s not just because of the big budget. I feel like Cameron used 3D to make the experience more visceral, but he did it without gimmickry. Instead of having things pop out at the viewer, he created an environment that you could look into. I plan on taking that approach — no gimmicks, no arrows flying at the camera. I want it to be another element of the overall design — something that enhances the experience but doesn’t draw attention to itself and take away from the story.”

Hope you’re well,





Disappointed that Hyams isn’t going the “Let’s throw all the shit we can into the cameras!” route with the 3D, but I’m glad to hear we will be seeing the return of the long take.

Van Damme could have his own line of chihuahuas! Complete with a bump on it’s head and a penchant for running around with an erection.

Finally gotten around to watching the movie that Fat Elvis recommended to me, THE RAPE SQUAD. I’m still not finished with it yet, but it’s a pretty damn good exploitation flick. A bunch of women band together to get the man who raped all of them. …. Why is this movie not on dvd? It would make a great double feature with the even sleazier Savage Streets. Although I give the edge to Savage Streets, because it has 2 girls in a shower naked and fighting with each other for no reason.






ERIX: I’ve always liked The Rookie. It wasn’t well received upon its release and people always say that Clint was forced to do it so Warner Brothers would finance White Hunter, Black Heart. There’s this general consensus that his heart wasn’t in it or something. But, whatever the case may be, it doesn’t show up on the screen. He’s having a lot of fun here. It’s like he was testing himself to see if he could do a Joel Silver action picture. He passed the test. Also… It’s probably the last purely fun action film he ever did.


MIKE: How much do I enjoy The Rookie? Well, for one, I own the Blu-ray. For another, I insistently ordered the poster for it, and it now hangs in my dorm for the year. This is no bland, ordinary reprint poster either. This is a legitimate, double-sized, folded, battle-worn poster as weathered and grizzled and awesome as Clint Eastwood himself that I got on eBay from some guy in Montana, that probably hasn’t been used since being displayed at a dollar theater or video store display back in 1991.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until a couple of years back that I finally was able to bask in the film. It’s amazing. More on that later, but all I really knew were the pay-per-view promos that intensely highlighted the daring explosion and car escape, and that it was a film, like Ford Fairlane, Predator 2, Tango & Cash, Quick Change, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, Marked for Death, and many others, was an R-rated surefire hit that was advertised a shit-ton in DC Comics. When I finally saw it, well, holy shit.


ERIX: I like that you bring up that car escape that was highlighted in all the trailers. It’s a hell of a set piece. Over the past 20 years, Clint has really become the elder statesman… a respected FILMMAKER with capital letters. And it seems people have forgotten that he is as good a director of action as some of the greats he worked with. The way the action is staged here is on a par with the high octane stylings of the period. And yet the movie is traditionally paced. I think it’s an interesting balance that Clint brings to the piece, which makes it unique.

The freeway chase is also a very well mounted action scene with an interesting element. It doesn’t show up on too many highlight reels, but it should.


MIKE: In Clint: A Retrospective, Richard Schickel’s exhaustively comprehensive film-by-film look at Eastwood’s filmography, Eastwood himself, more or less, does acknowledge that The Rookie was “one for them.” Both Schickel and the man himself seem to reflect on it as squandered potential and a footnote on the buddy cop formula. Others think it’s too slick and mean-spirited to be successful.

With all due respect to this self-reflection, The Rookie is a success in disguise, an interesting change of pace for both the genre and the man himself. Written by Scott Spiegel (Evil Dead II!) and Boaz Yakin (The Punisher!), The Rookie is about as subtle as a Motorhead concert: loud, proud, and really fucking awesome. Not that this is a bad thing, however. Eastwood is a reliable and consistent auteur who keeps the action lean and mean, and that shows its colors beautifully here. Later, we start to see Eastwood takes a very transgressive approach to this. There’s several action beats in the course of the film that are admirably subversive and unforeseeable. In turn, The Rookie is a great response from Eastwood to keep up with the slicker, larger-scale craft that guys like Joel Silver, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Don Simpson had popularized in the late 80’s.

You mention the opening chase scene on the freeway, and that is exactly what I’m exemplifying with that statement. It’s a wonderful opener to the film; there’s a great sense of intensity and danger that comes at you that feels like a welcome change of pace to the Dirty Harry School of Shooting People Before They Can Unleash Their Full Potential.


ERIX: There is also a climactic airplane chase that plays like a madcap tribute to North By Northwest… And I had forgotten Xander Berkley was in this.

The “oops” look on his face before he gets taken out is priceless.


RENE: I never knew that my mentioning of The Rookie back during the infancy of The B-Action Thread would turn it into a full blown cult that I’ve created. Seriously. There’s even a Team Rene and a Team Keith Fordyce (Where are you Keith? We miss you!) which was basically Team Rookie, and Team Anti-Rookie. It’s taken on a life of it’s own, and I’m very proud of it.

Also that we got to talk about it during the inaugural B-Movie Podcast. It’s one of my favorite Clint films. I was re-introduced to it after seeing it as a kid, when I rented the vhs tape back in 2004, and then bought the Clint Eastwood Collection dvd in 2005. It’s a marvel of Clint embracing the action of the 80’s, which I know Mike has said is if Clint went Joel Silver.

Raul Julia is an amazing villain, and I don’t give a shit if he, a Puerto Rican guy, and Sonia Braga, a Brazilian Beauty, play friggin’ Germans, because I think that just adds to the coolness of the movie.

Clint plays Nick Pulovski with that Dirty Harry charm, especially in his “I’m fuckin’ likin’ it!” speech.

Can’t forget about the titular character either. Charlie Sheen’s descent from straight laced cop to nearly insane Maniac Cop who shoots a dog, shoots up a bar, and burns it down is quite believable. He also has some great chemistry with Clint.

I love this movie so much, I did a recast in the CHUD recast thread that had William Fichtner as Nick Pulovski and Michael C. Hall as The Rookie. Yeah, I love this movie a lot.

Plus half the cast is made up of character actors like Pepe Serna, Paul Ben Victor, XANDER BERKLEY, Tony Plana, Marco Rodriguez, and Tom Skerritt.

Speaking of looks on faces, Erix. Love the look on Raul Julia’s face right before Clint shoots him. Plus his “HHHHHUUUUUUIIIIIGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!” scream is awesome.


ERIX: Julia and Braga as Germans. That is strange and, for the life of me, I can’t understand why that choice was made. I imagine the characters were written as German. But, once the parts were cast, why didn’t they make a change?

It doesn’t “hurt” the movie. But it’s kind of funny to see Julia attempt to speak in a German accent. With “zat” and “zis” … Braga doesn’t bother. But it doesn’t matter because I zink she only has like 3 or 4 lines in the whole movie. Favorite line of hers? “DON’T LOSE IT!”


The Germans


MIKE: Maybe it’s a weird jab at the amount of Nazis that went into hiding in Argentina? I don’t know.

“There’s gotta be a hundred reasons why I don’t blow you away. Right now, I can’t think of one.” *BAM*

I love how that comeuppance is so cold-blooded. It’s the sort of thing that usually gets set up but never carried out in full, and it’s a very vindicating moment. This is exactly what I mean by it being a transgressive film. Remember how Hard to Kill sets up that really savage way Seagal is about to blow up William Sadler’s head with the shotgun and then the cops come and Sadler gets his death in the form of looking like an asshole and getting arrested?

The Rookie doesn’t do that shit, and it’s fucking awesome.


RENE: As my Dad said when we saw The Rookie. Germans don’t all have to look like Germans. I like that a lot actually. Plays with the convention that all Germans are really Anglo looking, when there’s this guy and girl who look Hispanic, but are in fact named Strom and Liesel. Plus I dig Raul Julia’s accent. “Juzt a man wiz a poor tazte en beer.”



ERIX: All due respect to your dad, but these two just DO NOT look German. However, as Mike pointed out, they could credibly be Latin people with German blood. I mean, here in Bolivia there are people with names like Grossman and Muller. And they were born and raised here. So, it is conceivable that Strom and Liesel were actually born in South America to a German father and … oh I don’t know … Guatemalan and Brazilian mothers and then were taken at a young age to Germany and raised there. In that case, I guess it works. But it is still one of the oddest bits of casting in the 90s.

But enough about them… Let’s talk about that other bad guy with really bad skin that keeps referring to Charlie Sheen as a “GRINGO PUTO!” What’s his name again?


RENE: That guy who gives Courtney Gains a run for his money in the “White guys who play Mexicans” category is named Jordan Lund, and he’s a fellow New Yorker, Erix. It always does give me a laugh when he calls Carlos a “GRINGO PUTO!” that and “I DON’T KNOW WHERE LOCO RUNS MAN! NO ONE DOES!” after Carlos blows that fireball in his face.

Also, if we’re going to give a back story that makes Raul Julia and Sonia Braga credible as Germans, I endorse the “They were born in South America and shipped off to Germany” back story for them. Although I want it stated for the record that I still like to just think of them as plain Germans from Germany. That just works for me in the context of the film.


Straight from the streets of Berlin...


MIKE: Unlike other villains of the period like Hans Gruber and Arjen Rudd, Strom and Liesl are elegant romantics living the life of kings. They’re not like McQueen and Dunaway or Brosnan and Russo in The Thomas Crown Affair, coolly going about their criminal activities with precision and class. Strom and Liesl are a contrasted mirror image of the frivolous thieves from those films, prioritizing the safety of their contraband nest egg by any means necessary over their love. That knack for violence unleashes a very erotic and carnal energy into Liesl, which leads into the scene that has become this film’s de facto calling card.



RENE: Ah yes, the one thing that people remember this masterpiece of action filmmaking for. The rape of Clint. There’s so much great action and characters in the movie, and the one thing people remember is the rare occurrence of female on male rape. That said, it’s funny when Carlos is watching it, and Clint calls him a pervert for watching the film of it that Liesel had made while straddling Clint, making him bite the bullet she wears around her neck and tells him “Don’t lose it.” I REALLY don’t want to know what exactly she means by that.


ERIX: Well… She’s talking about Clint’s hard on, of course. It’s good to know that – even at 60 + – Clint can still get it up.

But seriously, it is a very interesting touch to have Clint raped by Sonia Braga.

More than Charlie Sheen watching the tape, I enjoy Raul Julia’s quiet reaction. He’s pissed. But we get the sense that he’s seen this sort of thing before.


RENE: Clint still looks like he could kick the crap out of all 3 of us, so the fact that in his 60’s, he was still getting rock hard boners doesn’t surprise me.



MIKE: I must say, I’m completely head over heels for Lennie Niehaus’ score for the film. With the exception of three films (The Dead Pool, Pink Cadillac, and In the Line of Fire), Niehaus composed all of Eastwood’s films where he acted and directed from Tightrope in 1984 all the way up to 2002’s Blood Work. Niehaus has an eclectic, multifaceted sprawl to his work that really makes him a renaissance man as a composer, from the rustic guitar strings of Unforgiven to the heartland sounds of A Perfect World to the African twang of White Hunter, Black Heart.

Here, his work (unfortunately never released commercially, as there seems to be no score released for the film) very clearly echoes the jazzy, horn-heavy sounds provided by Lalo Schifrin in four of the five Dirty Harry films. Unlike the latter two Harry films, which utilized a more electronic, funk-hinged influence, The Rookie‘s score is a throwback to the bombastic, orchestral sounds of Dirty Harry and Magnum Force, providing a fresh change of pace from derivatives of the period-evocative works of guys like Kamen and Faltermeyer.


RENE: Agreed on the Lennie Niehaus score. It’s really fun and energetic. Just like the film. Film Score Monthly, or one of those other companies that specialize in releasing previously unreleased scores need to release the soundtrack.


MIKE: How can we not go this long without discussing Pepe Serna in this? As Lt. Garcia, the requisite asshole superior officer who uses his asshole-ism to maintain bureaucracy, Serna is a gifted scenery chewer whose character’s supposed anger problems blend seamlessly into the anarchic L.A. playground in the film. Garcia is clearly a stock character: the unlikable asshole boss whose patience is consistently running on empty and who would probably be quite pleased if his renegade employees turned up dead.

Later in the film, Garcia completely loses his shit when he finds out that Ackerman (Sheen) has burned down an East L.A. bar in his quest to dismantle Strom’s empire. Instead of brooding softly and quietly, trying to be rational, Serna slams down his phone and rants that “this is all I fuckin’ need right now,” proceeding to pace around his office acting like a more psychotic version of the moron captain who always yelled at McBain or McGarnicle on The Simpsons by way of Jack Lemmon at the end of The China Syndrome. The scene turns legendary when he barks orders to find Ackerman at a pair of other detectives, who express apathy towards their boss’s demands, Garcia unleashes his rage and barks, “It’s not just a job! IT’S A FUCKING ED-VENN-CHUR!!!!!!!!

Seriously, you half-expect the glass panels in his office to explode like whenever Frank McRae screams “SLATER!” in Last Action Hero.



RENE: Yeah, I love how out of place that line, and Pepe Serna’s explosive acting seems in that scene, and hell, just in the film in general. The film gets crazy, but that is some Terence Stamp Zod-level acting. Shit, what am I talking about? It works in the film!


ERIX: And, why not… Let’s talk about Lara Flynn Boyle. For most of the film, she’s the typical “girl” character. (No. Don’t go out there. They’ll hurt you.) But her big scene with acne face puts her to great use.

First, there is the tension of her fighting the bad guy as Sheen races to her rescue. Lennie Niehaus’s score is at its best in this particular scene.

The climax of that scene is very satisfying, and Clint gives her a Grace Kelly in High Noon moment.



MIKE: Fun, kind of useless fact: The Rookie follows The Wraith as the second film to feature an actress from Twin Peaks as Charlie Sheen’s love interest.


RENE: Twin Peaks could have used Raul Julia and Sonia Braga as German characters. The show already had some bizarre awesome in it. Why not up the ante by having them?


ERIX: Not just any German characters. These same ones. Just imagine the possibilities of Sonia Braga putting the moves on Kyle MacLachlan!


RENE: This film also features Clint driving a Mercedes Benz out of the top level of a warehouse while the place blows up and drives it onto the roof of the adjoining building.

After everything we’ve described, how could you not want to see this movie?


And yet… THE ROOKIE is not universally liked.




It all began with Mike acquiring a special decoration for his dorm room wall…


Just bought two posters for my dorm room: Streets of Fire and………

an original 1990 poster for THE ROOKIE!

Yes, I’m excited. Very excited.

An original poster of The Rookie. I really want one of those. Good deal, Hunter!

Dr. Dean Edell

I actually gave THE ROOKIE another shot recently because of all the talk around here and yep….
it still blows.

To be fair, the first half sucks and the second half blows. Charlies Sheen “boring rich guy who’s really whiny and full of angst” character dominates the second half while Clint gets raped by a shemale.

Dr. Dean Edell
Team “The Rookie sucks” adds another to its magical roster…

Respected b-movie Godfather Moltisanti has been a long time member of that club.

THE ROOKIE takes it’s toll on you!
At the end of the movie, Clint gets promoted for some reason. On one hand, it means the god awful PEPE CERNA has been removed from the movie. On the other hand it means we get treated to a lame “callback” scene from the beginning of the movie.

heh if thu rookie’s so smart, why’s her badge upside down?

The Rookie still shoots the piss out of a lot of other movies.

Dr. Dean Edell
Rene says The Rookie shoots the piss out of other movies??? Hmm?!? Well I say that I shoot MY piss out upon THE ROOKIE! Awful film apologize Eastwood and Sheen! When I want Sheen’s colorful hijinks I will simply insert Navy Seals into the dvd player!

“Oh I am cool- you should see me when I get HOT!”

Russell Faraday
That reminds me, it’s been too long since I watched NAVY SEALS…

It hasn’t been long enough for me. I saw Navy Seals last summer, and I still remember almost falling asleep due to it being BORING.

We got a Movie Of The Day, and David Oliver’s and Mr. Nick Nunziata’s seal of approval on The Rookie. Team Rookie’s got LEGIT CRED!

Yes, Dr. Dean. I respect you as a man of consummate taste. But I am afraid I cannot agree with you or the esteemed Mr. wadew1 about The Rookie – which is a fine action thriller from 1990.

Its poster is a fine addition to HunterTarantino’s dorm room wall.

Dr. Dean Edell
I have pulled all the strings I could. Used all the connections I could muster. I have found this gem of a photo for you all Team Rookie fans, in the spirit of being friendly with one another. This came from October 1990, from the screening room of MALPASO PRODUCTIONS. An exclusive photograph of The Rookie preview screening…

In one way, THE ROOKIE is a true original!
During the explosive finale, Clint decides to repeat a generic one liner three times in the span of 2 seconds.

*car starts moving*

-“Fasten your seatbelt.”

*car exits exploding building*

-“Fasten your seatbelt.”

*car lands*

-“I told you to fasten your seatbelt”

Gotta make sure the audience fully appreciates a GOLDEN line like that!

duke fleed
Dr. Dean Edell, while I am not a fan of…The Rookie, I am also not a…Hater of it. It is just a decent…Clint Eastwood film.

I’m not worried for Team Rookie.

Because we have this gentleman on our side.

And he’s definitely one of those guys you shouldn’t have fucked with.

He IS that guy.

And, in case that’s not enough to send you on your way, this will…


And, when his work is done…. Oh, you better believe it!


With Team Rookie, kicking back a couple of cold suds. And going next door for some ‘good gook food’ afterwards.