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STUDIO: Cannon
MSRP: $14.96
RATED: PG-13, “For Some Elements of Horror Violence.”
SPECIAL FEATURES: Pictures that move — and talk. It’s all the rage.

The Pitch

“I ran into Tony Curtis in the lobby and he’s not doing anything this afternoon!“

The Humans

Tony Curtis (Spartacus), Greg Wrangler (The Young and the Restless), Leslie Hardy (Blind Obsession)

The Nutshell

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Archaeologists discover an Egyptian mummy. It comes to life and pursues a woman who is the reincarnation of his lost love.

"I want to be paid this much."

Dammit, I told you to stop me. You sadistic bastards.

The Package

1.33:1 full-screen, baby. Just like watching regular TV. Just press ‘Play’.

The Lowdown

What can you say about a monster movie that almost forgets to have a monster in it?

Seriously, though. Want to know what really pisses me off about this waste of time? The credits claim it’s inspired an Edgar Allan Poe story. Which looks OK on a poster, ‘cause most people associate Poe with horror. The thing is, Poe wrote in a lot of different styles and Some Words with a Mummy (1850) happens to be a shaggy-dog joke with a sci-fi twist. In fact, it would make a great little short film if some schlock movie producers hadn’t tied it up just to hype their piece-of-shit movie.

The curse that ultimately visits all bad Mummy movie producers.

I award The Mummy Lives one bonus point for shooting on location in Egypt.

Now go read the Poe story here.


1 out of 10