Let me begin by stressing that I know this isn’t official casting news. I know this is a director just rattling off a wish-list of names. I also am well aware that Preacher has been through the development gauntlet for years, with actors and directors signed on far more firmly than D.J. Caruso or his pals.
It does not make this any less horrifying.
CloneWeb (via ComingSoon) sat down with Caruso to discuss I Am Number Four, and Preacher came up. Last I knew, Caruso wasn’t officially on board, but since he says he’ll be turning to that next, I assume that’s changed.
Caruso happily dropped his dream cast in the lap of the Internet. If he had his way, Chris Pine would be Jesse Custer, Shia LaBeouf would be Arseface (and has apparently expressed interest in the role), and Alex Pettyfer would be the Saint of All Killers.
I do not need to tell you how wrong those choices are. Even if you’ve never read Preacher, you can glance at the graphic to your right and know Pine ain’t Jesse Custer. (And I like Pine. He’s just not Custer and never will be. It’s not his fault.)
I’d fill this space with a lot of fluff about how I don’t think Preacher will happen, that Caruso will go the way of so many directors before him, none of those actors will even touch their pen to a contract, and so on. But frankly, I’ve seen just about every character I adore be mangled and twisted on a cinema in recent years. Every. Single. One. And knowing our abysmal geek luck, this is exactly the Preacher adaptation that will take off.
I suggest we go and prepare our souls.