.I have to admit, I was totally expecting Doom to be a tour de forced entry but after a good friend assured me it was terrific I’ve moved my anticipation meter from "see it with three drinks beforehand" to a single glass of claret.

That’s growth.

Speaking of growths, the poster for the film looks like a surgeon should come and scissor it off like some stillborn Kuato wannabe. I don’t mean it’s horrible, I just mean it looks like a punched homeless guy after three weeks of overpass blowjob duty.

How do you get Doom wrong?

Now, I hope the movie’s as good as Mr. Wrathchild says but they need to sell this thing on a couple of things:

1. A man named after a large hunk of granite.

2. A game that sold a few copies for a decade.

3. The fact that we as a race enjoy seeing demons shot in and around the face.

I’m sure it’s just a teaser (and kudos to the suave gents at JoBlo for the coup), but I just find it lacking. But what do I know, I have a Reign of Fire poster on my office wall.

Be pixellated in the 90’s on our message boards.