Film Weekend Per Total
1 Gnomeo and Juliet $14,213,000  (-25.8%) $4,680 $75,147,000
2 Hall Pass $13,420,000 $4,549 $13,420,000
3 Unknown $12,435,000 (-43.1%) $4,086 $42,840,000
4 Just Go With It $11,100,000 (-39.9%) $3,132 $79,355,000
5 I Am Number Four $11,036,000 (-43.3%) $3,497 $37,744,000
6 Justin Bieber: Never Say Never $9,200,000 (-30.9%) $3,274 $62,776,000
7 The King’s Speech $7,618,000 (+16.7% ) $3,193 $114,509,000
8 Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son $7,550,000  (-53.7%) $2,676 $28,574,000
9 Drive Angry $5,131,000 $2,241 $5,131,000
10 The Roommate $2,050,000 (-47.6%) $1,188 $35,928,000

This just in: For the Oscars, I thought I’d do this column with very popular celebrity Charlie Sheen.

So when you look at this list, what do you see, Charlie?

CHARLIE SHEEN: I don’t see a lot of winning, that’s for sure.

I agree. Of the list, Only Gnomeo and Juliet and The King’s Speech seem to have any sort of kick to the box office. Gnomeo has been out for a while now, and managed to finally claim the top slot, but mostly by not being a complete disaster. It’s going to get to $100 Million, even if Rango sucks the air out of the room next weekend. And Speech is the odds-on Oscar favorite, so it’s getting a lot of last minute lookie-loo’s and if it wins big (which it should) has a shot of getting near $140-$150 Million when done.

I did Platoon, and I thought “hey, maybe I’ll get some award love for this” and then Stone called me his “lucky rabbit’s foot” when we did Wall Street. But no award love. After that, bro, I was all about taking roles that paid. My dad was in Apocalypse Now, wasn’t nominated, but are you going to tell me that isn’t one of the greatest films of all time? People said to me “Charlie, why do you want to work for television?” I said, “watch how I do television.” Couple years later, I’m the highest paid actor in television history. Truth. People ask me “Are you going to watch the Oscars?” I don’t, because it’s only 20% winning. Truth. You want to know what winning is? I locked a porn star in a closet for a weekend, and I don’t even have to troll the valley for more pornstar poon, bro. I can fuck dragons, bro. Truth.

That’s very… I guess Unknown is in the middle category – neither winning nor losing –  as it should be able to do a healthy (for budget) $60 -$70. International should take that over the top. On to the bad news: Hall Pass was The Farrelly’s follow-up to The Heartbreak Kid, and it may mean that The Three Stooges project goes away after this drubbing, even though the film was cheap. This likely had a lot to do with Warner Brothers wanting to downsize New Line, and so either the film was set up to fail, or Warners didn’t see a commercial hit with the movie. Either way, the film may top out at $30 million, though the date movie elements could float this to a $40 Million dollar total…

I’ve made over $40 Million on one season of Two and a Half Men. Truth

That’s awesome, bro, but it’s not a win for this picture. Speaking of studios taking a dump on their own movie… nothing Charlie?

I’ll leave that ball on the T, bro.

Summit never figured out or didn’t care how to market Drive Angry, so the film tanked. It would be easy to say something like “this is partly the backlash against 3-D’ (of which I highlighted earlier in the week), but I think all fault lies with the marketing campaign as the film is a lot of fun, and the studio didn’t seem behind it (the junket was the Wednesday before release, print couldn’t review it until Saturday). Though if this can be pegged on 3-D fatigue, all the better.

Words, bro.

Just Go with It is going to get to $100 Million at this point, it may be about three weeks away from that now, but it should get there if it doesn’t get blown off the screen. Where I Am Number Four is a weak start to the new DreamWorks branding, and though the film might be able to get to $60 Million domestic it would then be relying on worldwide to make money. Maybe it will with Michael Bay’s name at the top…

I’ve got to work with that guy. I’ve partied with him. Dude’s got a king sausage if you know what I mean, so he’s good to do the crawl with. There’s a bar in Burbank that does a porn-star Karaoke night – we like to call that “the buffet.” Only problem with Bay, bro, is he’s never had a good hair day in his life. He always has a Prince Valiant haircut or some shit.



After that, Justin Bieber’s latest film offered a theatrical cut this week only in digital theaters, adding minutes of new footage. This word mostly seemed to get out via the internet but that’s how Bieber became a sensation, so that the film only fell 30% is likely because of that new footage. The film is now past $60 Million, and should be profitable if Paramount didn’t spend too much on marketing.

You could probably use that kid as a dildo. His haircut either makes him look like a lesbian or a circumcised penis.

On point, Charlie. Out of the top ten is True Grit, The Fighter and Black Swan, still holding enough screens if their nominations and/or wins could lead to a resurgence. True Grit is four million away from doing more business than Tron Legacy. Final words?

I fuck dragons.