August is fully upon your DVD purchasing urges and it really shows no signs of slowing down. Granted, there are probably two or three titles (out of the many) that might pique your interest as you scroll downward, but title after title continues to roll out, unabated by your paycheck or even your bankruptcy filing. So up, up and away we go, another round in electricDVD ladyland.
I want to be bad! I want to be the killer!
Stephen Chow serves up a plate of hilarity and WB-style antics in his wonderful film Kung Fu Hustle. Feeling burned by the Miramax machine (they released his Shaolin Soccer after sitting for way too long in the vault this past year), this time Chow went to his cohorts over at Sony, unencumbered by the laws of gravity. The one scene that immediate jumps out at me was the Road Runner style chase sequence between Chow’s Sing and The Landlady, who’s the sort of slumlord overseer that even Jack Burton probably didn’t want to deal with. Not only does Chow play it for maximum effect, he throws in levels of slapstick humor that resonate far beyond any film that has been in theaters during this fairly weak year. Populated with a veritable ton of colorful characters (that do especially over-the-top things … like throwing Skeleton Warriors out of musical instruments), Kung Fu Hustle revolves around Chow and his buddy, the large and in charge Donut (who sports a flabby axe tattoo), as they aspire to join Shanghai’s notorious gangster cadre The Axe Gang. Those looking for a more somber linear approach to the proceedings should watch out, because Chow niftily crafts a series of unfortunate events that leads up to his Sing getting involved with a local housing complex on the outskirts of town, all the while pining to get the goods: a sweaty, arousing meeting and premature acceptance into the Axe’s confidence. This being before being shuttled out the door without a phone call or explanation of any kind. I hate that sadistic bitch. Anyway, there’s only one problem. The denizens of said complex are a little more than pissed (and they don’t even live in imminent domain taking New London, CT!) and thus, a few secrets emerge, like the ones where people are going to be pummeled into submission courtesy of flying fists, carefully placed kicks and roundhouses galore. As for Roadhouses galore, only Ben Gazzara can answer that one. This all adds up to a pretty great time to see all of the zaniness happen (the end fight versus a thousand men is rather unbelievable, but it works), so you definitely won’t feel bad afterwards. Kung Fu Hustle is just a fun film all around, and now on DVD, you can (hopefully) show everyone that you know and get them aroused by its charms. Then, you should probably clean up.
You may know Kung Fu, but you’re still a fairy – with: an audio commentary with the cast & crew, a Rick Meyers interview with Stephen Chow, a TV Special – Behind-the-scenes of Kung Fu Hustle, some outtakes and bloopers, some deleted scenes, a photo gallery, TV spots and theatrical trailers.
When LCPD member Johnny is killed, then plain-clothes retired (and divorced) civilian T.J. Hooker rushes into the force, quickly reinstating himself as Sergeant. This time it’s in T.J. Hooker: The Complete First and Second Seasons. Hooker’s no ordinary man, however, and the man behind the infamous character, William Shatner, uses his entrancing style to pierce everyone, including the ladies. His good cop had been working the beat long enough to understand that the bitches love the cool S (and some hearty reform, just ask those in charge!), including his need to instill the values he preaches (tolerance, understanding and shouting ‘Kahn!’ while raising a fist) onto those fishy cadets, still learning the ropes. All of this comes after the rather controversial nature of his former partner’s grizzly end (sadly not brought forth by bears or Werner Herzog). Sternly commanding these troops is going to take some work, because Heather Locklear is his godchild, and he’s not asking for favors that she can’t refuse. She is, however, certainly not asking for an intrusion into her love life, especially since she’s got that one covered the moment her braces came off. One things for damn sure, and that’s Hooker’s other partner, Philly’s bravest Vince Romano, sure as fuck likes to recount his times as a little kid, growing up on the tough streets. Speaking of such, the paved white and yellow lines of Hookerville are filled with the winning formula of cop show success, and you can check it out here. All in all, Hooker’s up against some mighty forces with his team of 4Adam30, and he takes on a variety of bad guys, such as gun smugglers, snipers, rioters, bank robbers, truckers hell bent on destroying the little guy and his orangutan and of course, coked-out strippers, all scattered throughout the two epic seasons. Shatner has a penchant for those ladies of the pole, but he usually keeps finding those nasty Informants hanging around with them, wanting to stuff their take into some pairs of shredded pants. Bonus points are awarded if you can get through the Survival Syndrome with Hooker in tow. He’s rearing to ‘rassle, and anything’s possible. Look closer, and you might even spot Leonard Nimoy as Lt. Paul McGuire, as Hooker’s friend who starts to go a little over the edge, much like Shatner’s acting abilities.
No, you got it, sunshine! – with: no special features. There’s only one thing to do:
There are way too many characters. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Animal. Kermit. Gonzo. Fozzie the Bear. Miss Piggy. The Swedish Chef. Sam the Eagle. Scooter. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Countless others make their appearances in some sort or another during The Muppet Show: Complete First Season (wait for Russ DVD Review! – I know I am). I have the fondest memories of this show, watching and laughing and being a beast of a child to my parents if they wouldn’t let me watch it. To cheer up, I always find its best to chant Animal’s ‘Mahna, Mahna’, and bop your head. The creative mind of Jim Henson was few and far between. The man was a skilled craftsman so adept at being brilliant that he forgot to slow down and take a breather. Just like his life, The Muppets employ their incredibly zany tactics in their variety show to keep you entertained and amazed until primetime was over, or at least until Statler and Waldorf heckled the hell out of Kermit and Co.’s antics. Kermit, meanwhile, had "to contend with wannabe-comedian bears, the smothering advances of Miss Piggy, crabby regular theatre patrons, homicidal chefs, livestock, not to mention making the weekly guest star feel welcome", so I guess we should cut him some much needed slack. The Muppet Show is bliss, so purchasing is a necessity.
Put on makeup and dress up right – with: All 24 episodes completely and digitally remastered, the original pilot – "Sex and Violence!", the original pitch reel of the show, a Muppet morsels viewing guide of The Muppet Show and a promo gag reel.
It’s only fitting that Wayne Wang go from helping out a Maid In Manhattan to Because of Winn-Dixie. Then again, this is also the guy who brought us Smoke and Center of the World, so he’s all over the place, bringing family entertainment and lap dances to the masses. This time though, Wang’s putting his shifty eyes on the story of a young girl and her dog (and very heartbreakingly not about a boy and his blob). First off, make sure to check out CHUD’s interview with Jeff "Diarrhea Head" Daniels right here, and then realize that Devin said: "unless the girl fucks the dog or the dog has a voice over written by Paul Auster, I don’t care." For those of you who do care, "it’s not finishing school or a traditional upbringing that causes ten-year-old Opal to learn about the world outside of her own backyard, but rather a particularly awkward-looking mutt named Winn-Dixie. Winn-Dixie and Opal not only become privy to the eventful, if eccentric, lives of their neighbors, but Opal herself manages to reconcile some of the depression left over after her mother had abandoned the family seven years earlier." The screenwriter for this movie is named Joan Singleton, and when I quickly glanced at this poster in the theatres, the first thing that sprang to mind was "why the fuck is John Singleton writing a saccharine filled dog movie?". Uninformed first impressions are always great.
You a doggie on a chain (don’t bite the mailman) – with: an audio commentary by Jeff Daniels and producer Trevor Albert, some scene-specific audio commentary by AnnaSophia Robb, 2 featurettes (behind-the-scenes and diamond in the rough) and the theatrical trailer.
Scream out "Ho!" – and I don’t mean drunkenly after a night out on your small town before coming home broken, defeated and weeping at 11:15 PM. No, Thundercats: Season One, Volume One arrives in its first 33 episode glory (I guess the other 34 will arrive later in Volume Two), allowing you to relive the first half of the nostalgia train and show your Nephew a thing or two about that sweet Hot Topic t-shirt he bought. It’s all about understanding why, man. Relive the magic of exploding Planet Thundera (a place inhabited by those who purchase X-lax liberally), as our main dudes, The Cats, drift across space and are ransacked by those Plun-Darr mutants, hell bent on destroying the group and all that they stand for. As leader Jaga(meister) dies, it’s up to Lion-O and his fruity whiskers to lead the pack to the Third Earth and protect the Sword of Omens, the one item Gregory Peck couldn’t quite manage with his first demon seed. The mutants have some tricks up their sleeves, and remember that sonofabitch Mumm-Ra is in cahoots with their schemes, so be wary of men in horn hats and snakes on their chest. But enough about this, because we all know why most of us love and admire this show: it’s taken us away from the complexities of life, all the way down to those pesky neon-colored bitches who just stared at us playing D&D in the cliqued-out cafeteria. Let’s find those evil Wizard women’s lair and slay they hell out of them indeed. Shame on them, and damn them all to leveling down. No points for them. Even though they might be more settled in their lives, I can always know that Mom won’t mind when I turn the show on full blast from the basement. She’s in a drunken stupor anyways, and hey, rent is free! HO! The Thundercats still prove why they rock some damned hard, because they never pandered to children’s lowest common denominators, and like Albert Pyun, they earned our newfound respect.
Give me sight beyond sight – with: a keep case with interviews. Eh.
If the first Eye was your introduction into the land of Asian horror, then the Pang Brothers’ Eye 2 stands out as the sequel to the introduction. Actually, I heard a rumor that Lions Gate was going to release this theatrically, so I wonder: did they give up? But why rely on me when wondering about the latest crop of thrillers to scare you? No, let’s check out Amazon’s wonderful reviewers, who have this to state. "But if you’re pregnant, don’t buy this!! This movie is about some Chinese legend thing about pregnant woman. Something about their baby…. By the way, I have to mention something, there’s a scenes in the toilet where Shu Qi is washing her hands, then "something happened"(not gonna tell you what happen), that makes me look all around the toilet every time I pee…..SCARY…." I suppose that says everything we all need to know about this film. Watch out for the toilet when you pee, and there’s some Chinese legend thingy about pregnant women and their babies. No specifics, just that you should watch out for both. Personally, after seeing the remake of Dawn of the Dead, I’m more worried about Zombie Babies than this … for the moment. "In a moment of despair, Joey takes an overdose of sleeping pills in an apparent suicide attempt. Joey survives the incident, but discovers that she’s pregnant with Sam’s child, putting her in another difficult situation. Joey decides to keep the baby, but she soon discovers another strange side effect of her brush with death — she can now see ghosts, especially when she’s in the presence of children and pregnant women, and is frequently haunted by the spirit of a women attempting to kill herself near a railroad track. As the ghost begins visiting more and more often, Joey becomes convinced the spirit wants to enter the body of her unborn child." There, that’s a little bit better and at least it was without the warning to check where you whiz your cares away, right?
Eye Vitelloni – with: English subtitles, the Making-of The Eye 2, bonus trailers and the original theatrical trailer.
The next film received fairly favorable reviews when it was hitting theaters recently. Most of you probably never heard about Look At Me, or choose to ignore it, simply because the film was crafted by the French, those commie bastards you’ll never forgive for not going alongside your plans to invade Iraq. Part of what The Post called the original Axis of Weasels (along with Germany and the U.N.), France even has the gall to call attention to its films, denoting them with flashy sayings and plots about unlikable people who ultimately you could come to love. Seriously, they need to stop that shit. The only unlikable people I want to love are the common folk like Robert Z’Dar, Billy Drago and that little bastard in The Devil’s Rain. "Look at Me is a cornucopia of prickly personalities, starting with Lolita, an aspiring singer who hates everyone who pays attention to her because of her famous father and assumes that no one would pay attention to her for any other reason. It’s not surprising, because her father Etienne, an acclaimed writer, surrounds himself with people who want something from him–including a less famous writer who finds success thanks to Etienne, and whose wife (writer/director Agnes Jaoui, The Taste of Others) happens to be Lolita’s music teacher." Now you can continue to curse the French for their happy coincidences as well, and continue to slide our culture into the depths of obscurity. Joy!
Am I funny to you? Do I amuse you? – with: 8 deleted scenes and a behind-the-scenes making-of.
Tuesday also sees a number of Television shows go the way of others and shed their syndication playtimes for the freedom of sitting on a shelf as you wander by to purchase Kingdom of the Spiders. The Muppets join Quentin Tarantino in Oz, Fox spews forth its continuing tradition of upchucking some great older films at our collective mugs (including Bette Davis when she was turning into The Black Lagoon Creature and the incredible ’38 special (effects) of Old Chicago), while Universal unlocks the old Television gates and lets Columbo, his glass eye and McMillian & His Wife free underneath the guidance of their dollar bill shotguns. Finally, support my former Undergraduate Chair and think about watching his Sid Caesar/Cannon hybrid Emperors New Clothes. He also shepherded CHUD II, so that accounts for something around here. I might be alone in that last one. Bud lives!
All right Future Boy, let’s have it.
Palm pictures a while back released a wonderful set of various up-and-coming Directors whose achievements have been stellar. Coincidentally, I haven’t purchased them, since I’ve always been too poor. Needless to say, I have seen them and I love each and every nook and cranny that went into the 2 disc sets, especially the Michel Gondry one (his yarn video is one of my favorites). The Spike Jones DVD even went Platinum, allowing him to sun it up in his next music video, drink Courvoisier and have ladies dance in slow-mo around his entirely too big pool. That’s just me being stereotypical. Now on 9.13.05 Palm is exploding out their Director’s Label – Volume Two and it’s gonna be packed with a new crop of visionaries and heretics that should arouse some of you and repulse others. Pleasing all of the people all of the time is hard. H-a-r-d-e. Anyway, these new discs are packed filled with awesome music videos – some spectacular, some groundbreaking, some filled with cars painted with nude caricatures, some brimming with a barley legal Fiona Apple, even some with flying Eels – on top of interviews, insights and general shenanigans. Party on Wayne.
First! Yes, it’s the Work of Mark Romanek, a man known for his skill and uber cool videos for a thousand bands. For starters, you get the MUSIC VIDEOS for Jay Z – 99 Problems (director’s cut), Linkin Park – Faint, Red Hot Chili Peppers – Can’t Stop, Johnny Cash – Hurt, Audioslave – Cochise (director’s cut), No Doubt – Hella Good (director’s cut), Mick Jagger – God Gave Me Everything, Janet Jackson featuring Joni Mitchell and Q-Tip – Got Til It’s Gone, Fiona Apple – Criminal, Nine Inch Nails – Perfect Drug, Beck – Devil’s Haircut, Weezer – El Scorcho (director’s cut), Eels – Novocaine for the Soul, Sonic Youth – Little Trouble Girl, Michael & Janet Jackson – Scream (director’s cut), Madonna – Bedtime Story, R.E.M. – Strange Currencies, G. Love & Special Sauce – Cold Beverage, Nine Inch Nails – Closer (director’s cut), David Bowie – Jump, They Say, Madonna – Rain, Lenny Kravitz – Are You Gonna Go My Way, Keith Richards – Wicked as it Seems (director’s cut), En Vogue – Free Your Mind and KD Lang’s Constant Craving. THEN! – you get: a brand new documentary featuring Beck, Jay-Z, Rick Rubin, Michael Stipe, Janet Jackson, Trent Reznor, Anthony Keidis, Gwen Stefani, Keith Richards and others, Romanekian: Ben Stiller, Chris Rock and Robin Williams discuss Mark’s work and the making of 99 Problems (but a screenplay writing device/phrase isn’t one). PLUS! A 52 page book and a handful of other stuff.
Second! Is the Work of Jonathan Glazer, the man who made Ben Kingsley have a potty mouth, a giant boulder run down hill and a sleek Nicole Kidman gallivant about ‘tubbing with a very young boy. You get his MUSIC VIDEOS for: Radiohead – Street Spirit, Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity, Richard Ashcroft – A Song for the Lovers, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Into My Arms, UNKLE – Rabbit in Your Headlights, Blur – The Universal, Radiohead – Karma Police and Massive Attack – Karmacoma. Then you get his COMMERCIALS for: Wrangler – Ride, Guinness – Surfer (extended), Guinness – Swim Black, Guinness – Dreamer, Volkswagen – Protection, Stella Artois – Last Orders, Stella Artois – Whip Round, Levis – Kung Fu, Levis – Odyssey, Barclays – Bull (with Samuel L. Jackson) and Barclays – Chicken (with Samuel L. Jackson). ADDITIONALLY, besides my shouting, you get: interviews with important music people like Nick Cave and his bad seeds, excerpts with famous actorly people like Kidman, Winstone, and Kingsley AND a 52 page booklet to set your world on fire. Phew.
Third! Hip, hip, you know it. It’s the Work of Stephane Sednaoui, and the DVD includes the MUSIC VIDEOS for: Mirwais – I Can’t Wait, Tricky – For Real, Red Hot Chili Peppers – Scar Tissue, Mirwais – Disco Science, R.E.M. – Lotus, Björk – Possibly Maybe, Alanis Morissette – Ironic, Tricky – Pumpkin, Garbage – Queer, Tricky – Hell is Around the Corner, Massive Attack – Sly, Youssou N’Dour & Neneh Cherry – Seven Seconds, Björk – Big Time Sensuality, Björk – Big Time Sensuality (new night version), Black Crowes – Sometimes Salvation, U2 – Mysterious Ways, Red Hot Chili Peppers – Give It Away, NTM – Le Monde De Demain and U2 – Discotheque (new director’s cut). If I remember, NTM means Nique Ta Mere, literally translating to Fuck Your Mother. Splendid! Let’s not forget about the SHORT FILMS: Take a Walk on the Wild Side – Short film inspired by Lou Reed’s song, Army of Me – Animation inspired by Björk’s song, Acqua Natasa – Short film featuring Natasa Vojnovic and Reve Reche – Stéphane’s first short film attempt. PLUS – 34 minutes and 29 seconds of interviews including Björk, Bono, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Michael Stipe, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Shirley Manson, Tricky and Stéphane’s presentation at New York University Film School ON TOP OF that infamous 52 page booklet, which is a treat and a half.
Four! Look out below, ’cause last on the platter we have the Work of Anton Corbijn, known for his video (to me anyway) for U2’s One. His DVD comes with these MUSIC VIDEOS: Propaganda – Dr. Mabuse, David Sylvian – Red Guitar, Echo and The Bunnymen – Seven Seas, Golden Earring – Quiet Eyes, Echo and The Bunnymen – The Game, Depeche Mode – Behind the Wheel, Joy Division – Atmosphere, Joni Mitchell with Peter Gabriel – My Secret Place, Depeche Mode – Enjoy the Silence, U2 – One (director’s cut), Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds – Straight to You, Depeche Mode – Walking in My Shoes, Nirvana – Heart-Shaped Box, Henry Rollins – Liar, Metallica – Hero of the Day, Metallica – Mama Said, Depeche Mode – Barrel of a Gun, Depeche Mode – It’s No Good, Herberg Grönemeyer – Bleibt Alles Anders, Mercury Rev – Opus 40, Mercury Rev – Goddess on a Hiway, Joseph Arthur – In the Sun, Herberg Grönemeyer – Mensch, U2 – Electrical Storm, Travis – Re-Offender and The Killers – All the Things That I’ve Done. PLUS, you get these – Beck and Dave Grohl – MTV Promos, U2 – The making of ‘Electrical Storm’, Some YoYo Stuff – Excerpt from a film about Don van Vliet aka Captain Beefheart, Travis – Love Will Come Through (A home made video with Fran Healy), Depeche Mode – ‘It’s No Good’ tour projections, Palais Schaumberg – Hockey (Anton’s first music video), Front 242 – Front by Front and NotNa – A documentary about Anton. FINALLY, feast your eyes upon these goodies inside of my jumbled mess: interviews and commentaries with: With U2, Depeche Mode, Travis, Samantha Morton, Metallica, Nick Cave, Echo and The Bunnymen, Mercury Rev, New Order, Joseph Arthur, Kurt Cobain, Herbert Grönemeyer, and others. And that standard 52 pages of awesomeness. Score. Goddamn, these discs are PACKED and STACKED like your Mom.
Dermot Mulroney stars as Crusader Jan Putaindemerde in – ah, forget it. That beard certainly looks different on the Cover Art than it did in Kingdom of Heaven. Orlando Bloom, who somehow has a clause in his contracts to be a sword carrying long-haired hero, takes up the portrayal of a 12th century boy – transformed into a Knight – determined to win the hearts and affections of the sultry Eva Green. And there’s that pesky truce between the Christians and the Muslims that is sliding away, bringing war into NIMBY territory. Liam Neeson, whose contractual clause states that he must be the mentor/teacher/father figure, puts in his time as the father/mentor/teacher figure with a dash of nobility. Ridley Scott’s film, even though I’m making mild fun at, is actually fairly well versed in Scott’s patented epic feel, making it pretty spectacular and worth your time. Should you wish to be transported into a visual land of enchantment, wispy beards and sword welding Iron – should I say Irons? – then you could do a hell of a lot worse (like Hawaii, for starters). Fake sword fighting in a specialty of mine (even with my Brother, sickos!), so its wonderfully fun to check out what the fight choreographers behind each clang and head hack have in store for you. Scott has plenty of treats scattered throughout the narrative, including Brando the Leper King with an Ed Norton mask. You don’t see that everyday, unless you live in Stepford/New Bristol. Finally, another reason for your blocking out the rest of the world (and your 99 script problems) might be to check out Green herself, who dons quite the respectable array of headscarves and beaded veils. Those wishing to get their Dreamers fill of her should stick to the modern day stories, when Knights wore BKs and jousted with the pen, before turning their trucker hats sideways.
ME (with the straightest face imaginable): Rise a Knight, Rise! – with: a spectacular example of excellent Special Features, like: The Pilgrim’s Guide – A text commentary stream consisting of both production and historical notes, synchronous with film, Interactive Production Grid – A simple to use navigation portal will ask viewers to choose the desired perspective and timeframe allowing them to tailor the "Making Of" material to their liking. There are no less than 16 different ways to experience The Grid. (approx 125 minutes), A&E Movie Real: "Kingdom of Heaven" (approx 45 min), The History Chanel’s "History vs Hollywood" "Kingdom of Heaven" (appox 48 min), Behind-the-Scenes Featurettes: Ridley Scott – "Creating Worlds", Production Featurette, Wardrobe Featurette, Orlando Bloom’s The Adventure of a Lifetime and some trailers. Sounds pretty good, and be on the lookout for the eventual Director’s Cut, which I hear makes the film even better, or for those who didn’t like it, even more annoying. I think heads are going to roll.
It was beauty killed the beast, a crazed passionate filmmaker commented. Warner Brothers understands and is releasing RKO’s original King Kong just in time for the holidays, beating their chests with two different versions and three types of packaging. There’s the splendor of the tin packaging, crafted from the finest mined elements this side of Skull Island, otherwise known as Mexico/Japan/India/China. Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack’s Kong is the King of any Jungle, no matter who tries to fool you (such as Charles Grodin and Jessica Lange). Breaking boundaries simply by using music (Kong was one of the first to use feature length accompaniment) wasn’t good enough, no sir, as the filmmakers put every once of blood, sweat, Earth, wind and fire into their vision. The end result we all know and cherish, the film that solidified what it means to be enraptured with cinema as the means of imagination and creation, much like the Critters series. If you haven’t seen the film, and seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? – get your lazy ass to a video store right now. Drop everything, including finishing this, or clicking on porn, to check Kong out. Who knows, maybe the sheer awesomeness (mostly provided by stop motion animator/genius Willis O’Brien) will inspire you, like it did to Harryhausen (who went on to help out with Mighty Joe Young), Spielberg and Lucas, among with countless other people (like Curtis Hanson too). Building your own tugboat and charter group to venture to the place on the map that Norwegian Skipper gave you is optional. Just make sure not to bring any blonde female friends and you’ll be ok … for a while.
The Eighth Wonder of the World! – arrives with: audio commentary with Ray Harryhausen and Ken Ralston, with Merian C. Cooper, Ernest B. Schoedsack, Ruth Rose, Fay Wray and Robert Armstrong, the all-new documentary: I’m Kong: The Exploits of Merian C. Cooper, the all-new RKO Production 601: The Making of Kong documentary, Peter Jackson’s Eighth Wonder of the World documentary (with these featurettes: The Origins of King Kong, Willis O’Brien and Creation, Cameras Roll on Kong, The Eighth Wonder, A Milestone in Visual Effects, Passion, Sound and Fury, The Mystery of the Lost Spider Pit Sequence and King Kong’s Legacy), the Creation tests with Harryhausen commentary, and a boatload of trailers for other Merian C. Cooper films. The Collectable Tin Special Edition also includes a 20 page reproduction of the original ’33 souvenir program, original one-sheet postcards and a mail-in rebate for a reproduction of an original King Kong Theatrical One sheet. Spiffy.
Note, however, that the film also comes in a Four Disc Collector’s Set that DOES NOT include the Tin, but will be packaged with The Son of Kong and Mighty Joe Young. Those wishing to snatch up the tin (like myself) will be comforted that both films also are available separately. Sighs of relief are evident for fans of the film. Thanks to Variety, WB and thedigitalbits.com for letting me steal their images.
Bande à Region Free.
Every week, we leave clues for you to discover anew. A pile of new releases … the horrific jumbling of the English language … a Van down by the River … a romantic young girl who blew me off for a C-list celebrity. We might now open a parenthesis on the advantages to being Region Free, but you already know them. So we just close them and let the Cover Art speak for itself. I’m off to race you through the Louvre. You think we can beat Jimmy Johnson? Screw ‘im. Let’s do this.
Being Region Free never felt so good (possibly not true), but if you can’t wait. Any. Longer. For Danny Boyle’s Millions to arrive, consider picking it up – right now via those demented boys who laugh maniacally over at diabolikdvd.com. If you haven’t ventured outside of your thirtyplex because the film wasn’t showing, consider starting out by reading over Devin’s amazingly positive review here. Then of course, make up your own mind. But truly let all of his comments stay with you, hopefully they’ll keep you awake in glorious agony at night. If not, that’s a damn shame, but remember that Damian’s watching and waiting for his moment too. Regale in the ethereally infused tale, one which has "two boys, grieving from the recent death of their mother, find[ing] a huge sack of money from a robbery gone wrong. Unlike the similarly themed A SIMPLE PLAN, this sweet film finds the boys wishing to make their lives better and change the world with their new found wealth." It’s amazing how simple young people see the world, whereas older harden types like you and me see an opportunity for sex, drugs, rock n’ roll plus aiding and abetting in large Van Nuys porn schemes.
Say au revoir to whatever your thing is – with: B-roll footage, featurettes, a Millions gallery and some trailers. Note that this version, unlike the Region 1 that will street on 11.01 DOES NOT contain the audio commentary with Boyle and Co. This is a Region 3 NTSC release.
Get a jump start on your intensive Jet Li/Luc Besson manlove and head on over to HKFlix.com to check out their Region 3 Danny The Dog 3 Disc Special Edition. If you’re like any of the bad guys in this movie, you probably can’t wait to get your grubbily huge mitts on Danny for Bart, especially since the US DVD comes out on 10.11. Again, do yourself proud by studying Devin’s review here and then wonder aloud why you can’t, for the life of you, realize how to unlock your Buddhist potential. Li is the man who’s been earmarked for killing greatness by the ham-sammich eatin’ Bob Hoskins (lapping up every scene he’s involved with), but when things go a little wrong, Li’s Danny is forced out into the world, into the arms of piano tuner and blind man Morgan Freeman. While there he learns the bonds of family and how to eat Ice Cream correctly, before he’s thrust back into the dirty world of neck breaking and saying "you don’t want me to do this." Giving the ole finger come-hither flicking movement is the plot, taking on his challenge and getting its ass handed to it right quick. Freeman, meanwhile, uses his gravitas plenty, adding a level of respectability and wisdom to his character, even though he’s done this before (and will do again, I assume). Luc Besson, the man who I’d wish return to directing (his Messenger picture, while being terribly overwrought, had some spectacular moments scattered throughout it) only produces and writes this choppy film. In the end, though, this is Li’s picture all of the way, and he makes it through fairly unscathed, but rather bloodied and bruised, considering the hell of a crazy time the filmmakers put him through. Not unlike your time on the city bus.
Come home to your lovin’ uncle with: DTS-ES Digital surround sound, a 20 minute making-of documentary, a special effects featurette, some deleted scenes and outtakes, RZA’s Baby Boy music video and some trailers. This is a Region 3 NTSC release.
Nominated for an Academy Award this past year, the Swedish film Evil is available over at diabolikdvd.com and ready for your grubby little hands to slather all over its horrid box. Speaking of Evil, I’d always thought most of the people I encountered at stupid little parties throughout college where simply that. Hell on Earth. Most of my friends were cool though, so screw off and take my posturing like a man/woman/Mothra. Evil in its purist form was that of the native sisterosis annoyonis, Latin for she’s my Sister (I’ll show you what I mean), who was known to grab the cat, claws out and chase me around the house with it for hours on end. I got her back, though, when regaling and mimicking The Count of Sesame, relishing my revenge like no other. The Swedes get theirs by just being some of the most hated people on Earth, with their advanced technology, amazing Healthcare system, 3.1% unemployment rate and positive way of life. Bastards. "After being expelled from school for fighting, Erik is sent to a strict private school that is run by the older classmen. Deciding to focus on his studies, Erik turns his back on the will of other students which leads to one violent confrontation after another." One thing I will say, is that the fatherland of Bergman certainly has a beautiful bevy of blondes and people with the name Ulva. Spoken like the true ignoramus that I am.
Uma! – with: English subtitles. This is a Region 3 NTSC release.
This is a call to all my past resignations
Weeks fly by and blend into each other like Salma Hayek’s infamous unibrow, but she just wanted me to shut the hell up (surprising, since I enjoyed her film). Just make sure to set your mouse phasers to click and do exactly that all over the links provided. The DVD Reviewers here at CHUD thank you, especially when you actually leave comments, or – gasp! – start an argument with their rating of any particular film. Discussion needs to thrive, otherwise the malaise sets in. Don’t make us cut it off. As you know, there are Doctors who have written reports that it doesn’t have to be that way anymore, provided you wash it (in)frequently.
8/02: Alexander: Theatrical Edition, Alexander:
Director’s Cut (Devin’s DVD Review is Coming Soon), Guess
I and II Double Feature Giftset, Downfall, The Cosby Show Season One
(a word of warning, this season is of the truncated syndication episodes,
meaning it’s not the originals you saw on television in the 80’s), The
High and the Mighty: SCE, Island in the Sky: SCE, The
Complete Thin Man Collection (wait for Eileen’s DVD Review, which is
Coming Soon), Dukes of Hazzard: Season Four, X-Files Anthology: Black Oil,
Afire: Season One, Over There: Pilot episode, Greatest
American Hero: Season Three, Saturday Morning with Sid and Marty Krofft,
and a trio of Disney classics like Johnny Tremain, World’s Greatest Athlete
Tyler. Check out last weeks Special
Edition and ogle over the Episode III Cover Art right here.
xXx: State Of The Union, Steamboy, The Jerk:
25th 26th Anniversary Edition, King’s Ransom
(David’s DVD Review), The Upside of Anger,
The Errol Morris DVD Collection, Gates of Heaven, Vernon,
Florida, The Thin Blue Line, Errol Morris’ First Person:
Complete Collection, Bolero, Warm Summer Rain,
Wild Orchid 2: Blue Movie Blue, Gate of Flesh: Criterion,
Story of a Prostitute: Criterion, Remington Steele: First
Season, 3rd Rock from the Sun: Season One, Star
Trek: Enterprise: Season Two, Xena: 10th Anniversary Collection,
Amateur and Wilder Days. Check out the crappy 2
week old Special Edition right here.
Thank you for your time. Fulci.
Feelin’ lucky, punk?
CHUD’s DVD Reviews
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The shittiest deals ’round town
Personally, I try and shop at S’Mart. We all know about their customers, but their prices? Simply stunning, like a buckshot to your body after some old hag threatens to swallow your soul. While you can get that sort of action at any local old folks home around your dwelling space, the deals we help cultivate here will make you the envy of anyone. Unless, that is, your friend checks this too. Then you’ll just have to fight to the death about it. I’ll pay the blood-cleaning bill*.
*I definitely won’t. So don’t even bother.
Kung Fu Hustle is $21.54
T.J. Hooker: Seasons One and Two is $37.08
The Muppet Show: Season One is $27.87
Muppets Wizard of Oz is $14.99
Because of Winn-Dixie is $21.96
Thundercats: Season One, Volume One is $47.51
The Eye 2 is $16.72
Look At Me is $22.06
Roswell: Season Three is $43.91
Man in the Gray Flannel Suit is $10.33
Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte is $10.33
Old Chicago is $10.33
Columbo: Season Three is $30.00
McMillan and Wife: Season One is $30.00
Profit: Complete Series is $17.99
I Heart Huckabees: Single disc is $14.64
Sideways is $14.64
Fat Albert is $14.64
Taxi (2004) is $14.64
A $10.46 SALE involving these and more: Baby Boy:SE, Howling: SE, I’ll Sleep When I’m
Dead, VanDamme’s In Hell, In The Cut: SE, Last Dragon: SE,
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Give, Tears of the Sun, Underworld and Wild Thing