We’re back at it again! The stamina is never-ending around these parts. As always, feel free to leave some feedback (greatly appreciated!) and then complain about the better job you could do with your friends behind my back. Just make sure to let me know about it. Additionally, as you skip from Cover Art to Cover Art make sure to click on the Art to get whisked away to spending your greenbacks. Support CHUD! Move, solider!

Shoot To Thrill

Deluxe Edition
Everyone’s been known to battle a few demons in their own day, and having Mandy Patinkin chase you around qualifies ten fold (dodge and weave, he’s a fast bastard). Knocking back a few cold ones with Angus Scrimm also does this to my soulless bag of bones, but it’s the real demons he commands that make me run for the underbelly of my sweaty sheets. Keanu "Shoot the Hostage" Reeves is John Constantine, battling those who wish to take over Earth’s seediest quadrant (Los Angeles) for supreme world domination. Macho Man Randy Savage is more than a little pissed off about this recent turn of events. In all of this cluttered mess, make sure to check out Nick’s DVD Review of the film right here before moseying on over to read Devin’s Theatrical Review and complain about his opinion. Constantine‘s got more than his share of detractors too, as the Devil, it seems, has seen to it that everything’s about to shift a little towards the ground in order for his nastiness to begin. Viewers of the Chewers Forum know this conundrum entirely too well. Moving forward, The Spear of Destiny has been plucked from the Earth and is again out and about, roaming around attempting to find cheap gas prices in Southern California. After a sequence in which it punches a car into crunched oblivion (can we put a mSingle discoratorium on this?) the Spear, commanding an invincible dude, continues to make its quest to the front door of one Constantine. He’s one of the very few people who can actually see the battle waging onward between good and evil, and the spirits that make up this hodge-podge of interestingness. And, he absolutely hates this. I’m sure we all know why he’s in this position (if not, well, look it up) so it’s when he hooks up with a police detective (played by the very lovely Rachel Weisz) that the spirits willing have more than a few tricks up their sleeves in order to get the ball rolling on their exploitative series of events for those living unceremoniously on this Earthen ground. Let’s face it, though, Constantine is a pretty entertaining film, one that’s not going to set your world on fire (although if you’re like me with a broken air conditioner in 100 degree heat, it might), but it will keep you engrossed with its developments, characters (especially Tilda Swinton as Gabriel) and directorial prowess (the music video director Francis Lawrence). Just make sure to check out Nick’s DVD Review if only for his caption madness.

Be good, be bad, be the guy with the gun from Kobe Tai. Constantine comes in two editions (three actually, but fullscreen shouldn’t exist in your vernacular). There’s the widescreen single disc edition and the 02 disc Deluxe edition. The single disc edition comes with: 18 minutes of Additional Scenes, including an alternate ending and the theatrical trailers. The Deluxe edition comes with: audio commentary by director Francis Lawrence, producer Akiva Goldsman, and screenwriters Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello, A Perfect Circle music video: "Passive", the theatrical trailers, the previously mentioned 18 extra minutes, 03 featurettes (Conjuring Constantine, Constantine Cosmology and Foresight: the Power of Previsualization), 02 documentaries (The Production from Hell documentary gallery: director’s confessional, collision with evil, holy relics and Imagining the Underworld documentary gallery: Hellscape, visualizing vermin, warrior wings, unholy abduction) and an exclusive collectible Hellblazer comic book featuring a reprint of issue #41 Dangerous Habits and a Hellblazer short story.

Ice cold
I’m not sure how many of you (or out of the four of you) who read the column are jones’ing for a movie called Ice Princess (but you should be ’cause CHUD’s DVD Review is Coming Soon). In fact, a movie about a teenage girl (read Devin’s "screw Lawrence H. Summers right quick" Theatrical Review right here) following her dreams might be better suited for a Lohan (pre-massive shedding) or a Duff (not the beer but the ingénue from The Lizzie McGuire Movie), or possibly even a 1980’s Jennifer Connelly (hearts still swoon over her turn in Career Opportunities). This time Michelle Trachtenberg, who has one of the strangest tongues known to mankind, is the one rooting for the stars, but getting the boot from them instead. As Casey Carlyle, she’s a bit of an overachiever, doing her math problems left and right with the end goal being a trip to the crimson tide, uh, I mean Harvard. That doesn’t come once a month, I’ll tell you. However, she’s harboring a secret, a nasty dirty dark little secret that threatens the sanctity of humanity as we know it. Yes, that’s right: she wants to be a figure skater. Those wishing she’d throw caution into the wind and her pants should probably watch something else. Does she make it? How could she not? This is a Disney movie after all, and you should expect a rousing amount of teenage angst, some teary-eyed romance the likes of which would make Krang sigh and bite his quivering lower lip alongside the hippest and hottest soundtrack of the ‘naughts. Sadly, it doesn’t feature The Killing Swarm. For those already heartbroken, know that Michelle Kwan makes a cameo. Faith? Restored.

Sing "this is what dreams are made of", before launching nuclear weapons into the abyss with: an audio commentary by the actors! ("uh, this is where my stunt double did the triple axle move, wasn’t I great?!?"), an alternate opening, some deleted scenes, and of course, some music videos.

Man Of Da House DV
Tommy Lee Jones had the right idea. Work with the director of Bill & Ted, Mr. Holland’s Opus and Rock Star. All that’d be required was to show up and act all gruff, something he tends not normally to do, in between burying and reburying Ms. Estrada. The end result is the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen since the last spectacular thing you saw. Shredding the cookie-cutter script to tiny bits and pieces of white chunks and black scribbles, Man Of The House proves that not only do you not need a script, but basically as long as four girls dressed as cheerleaders and one tough ‘father’ figure are there, all will sort itself out in the editing room. I’m not knocking Paula Garces though, because I met her a long time ago and she was sweet, classy and good-natured. If we are knocking something, I’d rather not have it be Heaven’s Door (or if you’ve gotta go: your rectum’s door). Axle’s got that covered smoothly. "After a multiethnic cheerleading squad witnesses a mob execution, Texas Ranger Roland Sharp (Tommy Lee Jones) is assigned to protect them. That’s all you need to know–a formulaic plot follows, but the filmmakers recognizes that the formula is known by all so they doesn’t waste time with unnecessary exposition. Instead, we go straight to amusing scenes of Sharp teaching the unruly (and scantily clad) girls some discipline and the girls teaching Sharp to loosen up and forge a better relationship with his estranged daughter. It’s a one-joke movie, but thanks to Jones’ leathery hound-dog face and cowpoke gravitas, the contrast between the girls and Sharp keeps being funny." Perhaps Tommy Lee (not the one with the giant fleshbot) will let the cheerleaders go, before hunting them down in a rage of blind fury and spouting off "don’t ever argue with the big dog, ’cause he’s always right!". Wikky-wild-wild west.

Dry your tears away, since Chevy Chase and Jonathan Taylor Thomas opted not to come back for this one. Extras include: 02 featurettes (Cheer Camp and The Making of Man of the House) and some previews. Stacked like a fake pair of gelatin.

not scary?Before throwing themselves into the Hollywood meat grinder (and making millions de dollars), screenwriters Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris were fresh out of college and writing, writing, writing. A curious side effect was that they happened to write Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, before making X2 or even Superman. So, here comes the past, ready to haunt them with a villain that doesn’t look remotely scary (check out the Cover Art). The selling point in all of this? From the director of Pet Cemetery (purchase the evil goings-on through CHUD!) comes a tale so shocking, so infatuated with bringing home the bacon, there’s no stopping the bum rush. Technically, you could just turn it off, but we don’t turn off anything ’round these parts. We sit through everything, even if it kills us or destroys our morals! "On a prom-night dare, a trio of high-school friends chant an incantation, unleashing an evil spirit from the past with deadly consequences. That same night, the girls are abducted by a gang of high-school jocks. Once rescued, their tormentors receive their just desserts, dying one by one in a chain reaction of gruesome murders, each with a bizarre "Urban Legend" twist. Is it all just a high-school prank taken to grisly extremes – or has "Bloody Mary" returned from the grave to wreak her own vengeance?" My guess? It’s probably a little of everything.

Tell me where you are Josh! – with: subtitles! Portuguese, Chinese, Korean, Thai, French, Spanish and English wonders of text!

Earth 2I vaguely remember Earth 2 on television during its initial run. Maybe that’s because I was under the constant haze of forests, boring days and trips to the big city in order to not self-destruct. A few of my friends did exactly that. Nasty business, that spontaneous combustion. Wicked, evil business. Now you’re finally able to join the eclectic cast of: (bad ass Mr. Krabs) Clancy "Don’t call me Brown" Brown, Antonio "Antonio Sabato" Sabato, Jr., Rebecca "Ratner!" Gayheart, Tim "Gaal bladder" Curry, Virgina "Sabato’s Dance Partner" Madsen and Ron "I’m a Penis Solider" Jeremy in all of their glory on the smallest screen outside of your PSP. "Embark on the quest to find a new home planet for humanity in the year 2192 as the complete sci-fi epic Earth 2 lands on DVD for the first time ever! From the producers of Miami Vice and ER comes the thrilling story of Devon Adair (Debrah Farentino), who is struggling to find a healthy environment for her deathly ill son, Ulysses. Disregarding government orders, she puts together an expedition to found a new civilization on an Earth-like planet 22 light years in the future. But after their ship crash-lands on the wrong side of planet G889, the "colonists" quickly discover that their new home already has some very strange and hostile inhabitants." They’re keepin’ it real, boiling it back down to family in all of the 21 "groundbreaking" episodes! How quaint of them.

Be mad you can’t get past 2’s red rope with: some deleted scenes, some outtakes, bonus episodes (for Cleopatra 2525 and Sliders) along with some extended scenes.

I think I'mIf anyone’s a little leery of what the past can do to you, just ask those starring in the film Paranoid. In fact, you might be a little suspicious of everything right now, being the internet and all, as you post conspiracy theories regarding recent political events or even the Cameron Diaz trial. Jessica Alba, who you might recognize as being one of the hottest new actresses under your age minimum, stars as Chloe, a model. What a stretch, eh? See, she’s "feeling stressed after a working trip to the U.S. — where she’d been dogged by a persistent telephone stalker. She decides spontaneously to join Ned, a rock musician, as he heads out to the British countryside for the weekend. Upon arrival, Chloe discovers that Ned already has guests — washed-up rock star Stan, his bickering wife Rachel (Jeanne Tripplehorn), their deaf-mute daughter Theresa (Mischa Barton), and nerdy hanger-on Gordon. As the emotional chemistry of the visitors becomes volatile, Ned’s wife arrives and most of the other guests take off, leaving Chloe alone with her host and his spouse. Chloe soon discovers that Ned and his friends have a disturbing hobby — they like to bring women back to the house, drug them, and violate them while unconscious, leaving her to wonder if she’s next for this treatment." Mischa Barton as a deaf-mute? Am I missing something? This story sounds like it’d be right at home on Sundays with Twin Peaks‘ Bob.

Bend me, break me, breaking down is easy – with: audio commentary by director John Duigan and the fullscreen edition. I’m making a face. Not unlike those who’ve seen The Ring.

do we really need this?Because nobody asked for this one (all right, maybe three of you did), we get another craptastic release featuring silly character number three million on the cover. How can you not keep a straight face while looking at the angst-ridden Edward Furlong scowling on the cover? He’s like those kids you keep seeing over and over at Hot Topic. Not that I have anything against them. Furlong might. Tara "I’m smart ’cause I wear glasses" Reid continues her downward trod into obscurity by continuing to work in sub-par films centered around real-life shattering direct-to-video status. Maybe less partying and more working? Hell, even TV’s Angel doesn’t get out of this bad boy, as he’s forced to cry without dropping one tear on the cover. And in case anybody wondered about this supposed abomination on my part, it’s from the director of Six-String Samurai. The Crow: Wicked Prayer is "an epic tale of death, revenge, and redemption. Just as ex-con Jimmy Cuervo (Furlong) tries to straighten out his life, he and his girlfriend Lily are brutally murdered in a satanic ritual by a renegade biker gang. But payback is at hand when Cuervo rises from the dead — with the power of The Crow — to avenge Lily’s death and reunite with her in the afterlife! Also starring Dennis Hopper, Danny Trejo, and recording star Macy Gray!" When Hopper makes an appearance along with TREJO™ (we’ll stumble and skip Macy Gray), you know you’re in for something special. How entirely wonderful it may be, that’s up to you. I just hope Furlong scowls throughout the whole film and laments how tragic everything is before grabbing a guitar and rocking out like any vanilla pseudo-punk band should. I’m sure the special effects are great!

Gee beasties, his head! It’s on backwards! – with: absolutely nothing! Dimension, always looking out for fans of The Crow. Actually, I think the studio is the only one getting out of this thing unscathed.

Across the gulf of space, these titles watched us with envious eyes. Maybe you’re a fan of the show (Saved By The Bell‘s DVD run finally reaches the end of the line), or the antics of a group of spoiled kids from one of the driving forces of corporate culture trying to appear hip (MTV, what’s up with all the white people?). Maybe you’re interested in a bit of history. The Manhattan Project’s testing did occur about 60 years ago this week, so stock up on your history and learn something when you churn out your scripts that sit piled up on your floor. I curse mine daily. If I had any.

The end!hip, so hipfailure!
threetwolost in spaccceeeee
atomic!His-tory!stop et!

We’re Not In Kansas Anymore, But I Am Unemployed.

2 disc SEOn October 25th, Warner finally gives The Wizard Of Oz its deluxe Ultra-Resolution treatment. So that means for those of you who just purchased the film on a whim or a sale, that you picked the wrong time! Suckers! This announcement is a couple of weeks old, but I was waiting for cover art, instead of me scanning the image rather hastily and cheaply from Variety. Both editions are packed beyond belief, and feature more awesome extras than the three breasts Arnold encountered in Total Recall. Check out the New 2 Disc Special Edition: Disc One: 5.1 Dolby Digital soundtrack, New 2005 Ultra Resolution digital master from restored film elements, a new commentary by historian John Fricke with selected archival audio comments by Barbara Freed-Saltzman (daughter of Arthur Freed), Margaret Hamilton, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Ken Darby (orchestral and vocal arranger), John Lahr (son of Bert Lahr), Jane Lahr (daughter of Bert Lahr), Hamilton Meserve (son of Margaret Hamilton), William Tuttle (make-up artist), Buddy Ebsen, Mervyn LeRoy, John Lee Mahin and Jerry Maren, Prettier Than Ever: The Restoration of Oz, We Haven’t Really Met Properly supporting cast profile gallery, narrated by Angela Lansbury, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz storybook, read by Angela Lansbury and the theatrical trailer gallery. Disc 2 comes with: 04 documentaries (The Wonderful Wizard of Oz: The Making of a Movie Classic hosted by Angela Lansbury and Memories of Oz — two original TV specials, All-New: The Art of Imagination: A Tribute to Oz and Because of the Wonderful Things it Does: The Legacy of Oz), Harold Arlen’s onset home videos, Outtakes and deleted scenes, It’s a Twister! It’s a Twister! The tornado special effects tests, Vintage vault featurettes, Extensive stills gallery and More than six hours of audio-only treasures, including an "Oz jukebox" of recording session materials, radio shows and promos.

3 disc CEThe 3 disc Collector’s Edition rocks out without any stopping. You get EVERYTHING included on the Special Edition, PLUS: Disc Three: New documentary L. Frank Baum: The Man Behind the Curtain Pre-1939 versions of Oz on screen, 05 ORIGINAL FILMS (The Wizard of Oz (1910), The Magic Cloak of Oz (1914), His Majesty, The Scarecrow of Oz (1914), The Wizard of Oz (1925): restored silent version featuring Oliver Hardy and Larry Semon, with a new, fully orchestrated score by Robert Israel and The Wizard of Oz – 1933 Cartoon), and a ohmygodmyheadisexploding series of print reproductions: The Wizard of Oz Comes to Life Eight-page Grauman’s Chinese Theatre Souvenir Premiere Program from August 15, 1939, Studio’s Invitation to The Grauman’s Premiere and the envelope that included tickets to the original Opening Night — with a newly designed commemorative ticket, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studio News Sixteen-page edition of the studio’s internal "house organ" newspaper, celebrating the release of The Wizard of Oz for the week of August 14, 1939, Photoplay Studies Rare secondary-education study guide to the film — Volume V, Number 12 (circa August 1939) — completely devoted to The Wizard of Oz, with articles revealing surprising insights from its producer, director, cameraman and scenarists and Deluxe Collectors’ Portfolio Reproductions of original 1939 Kodachrome publicity stills, including nine portraits and onset photographs.

Now nothing compares to actually watching a print of the film (something I did a while back in Dartmouth’s strangely endearing Spaulding theater) to see the full spectrum of colors and the feel of the film, but now for the low, low price these discs will retail for ($30 MSRP for the Special Edition and $40 MSRP for the Collector’s Edition) will make some of you smile. Now you can fire up Dark Side Of The Moon and watch for when the Munchkin hangs himself.

Crash 2005
For all those who went to Crash looking for graphic sex scenes on top of Spader buttocks and were disappointed (you’d be better purchasing the Cronenberg film from CHUD right here!), now the film comes to taunt you again when you go to your local video store to sneakily rent Z-grade softcore (Savage Beach or Hard Hunted anyone?). Before we get down to it, check out Devin’s "tiresomely earnest" review of the film right here before checking out the chewers’ thoughts on our Message Boards here. In an eerily reminiscent movie that owes a lot more than you think to P.T.A.’s Magnolia, Crash (arriving on 09.06.05) is an okay film with a message that it beats you over the head with for quite some time. Is it important? Well, it’s important to address the issues raised in the film, as it is to confront these characters and their actions, but the way it is presented is shamelessly manipulative, working hard through an assault of image, dialogue and music to drive home its points. Centered around the seemingly preposterous connections of a bunch of people who live in Los Angeles, Crash knows what it needs to do and whether or not you’re in line with it is up to you. The plot meshes back and forth between the lives of the characters (like Cheadle and Jennifer Espozito, who are cops, and Fraser and Bullock, who are D.A. and wife) and a ‘Raptor’ (Ludacris, who’s actually tolerable here in between the bouncing storylines). All the while each new encounter brings another startling revelation. Are they believable? Depends.

I’m the King of the Castle and you’re the dirty Rascal – with: sketchy details, but look for it to include an audio commentary with screenwriter/director Paul Haggis, some featurettes, and theatrical trailers.

The sneering Bob Hoskins, gleeful and blissfully unaware of the dangers he’s inflicting upon a young man’s psyche, arises from the seedy underbelly to take what he likes on 10.11.05 in Unleashed. The small problem being that the young man in question is the asskicker Jet Li, and he’s gotten himself into a whole lotta trouble with a collar he places on Danny (Li). Devin goes head-to-head in a slam dunk contest with his film review right here, and you should place your bets know on who pops it like it’s hot. Kept under a tight watch by Hoskins’ Bart, Danny is able to escape when a collection goes a little haywire, culminating with a car crash in which he’s able to escape into the world of music, courtesy of caretaker and blind-mind Morgan Freeman. I know what you’re thinking. But Freeman is actually one of the better bright spots in the film, lending a level of authority and calm to the proceedings against the fists-in-your-face violence previously seen on screen at that point. This is where Unleashed takes a strange detour, into the lives of those who are willing to care for Danny and protect him, as they learn to love one another. Now, don’t be mistaken that this is some Sesame Street shit, ’cause it’s not, as Bart comes back to get what’s supposedly his and the truth all comes down to a head. Smashing, that is, lots and lots of head smashing. Particularly among bathroom stalls. That scene was intense. Unleashed is most likely one of Li’s best English language films, unless you count Lethal Weapon 4 as a film.

Cry Havoc! And let slip 2 editions; the regular one (fullscreen ONLY, therefore, don’t buy!) and the unrated one (comes in fullscreen/widescreen, this equaling a purchase/rental). Universal strikes again! Expect: an interview with director Louis Leterrier, some deleted scenes, Serve No Master: Get inside the fight sequences created by action choreographer Yuen Wo-Ping, The Collar Comes Off: Behind-the-scenes featurette and 2 music videos ("Atta Boy" by Massive Attack and Unleash Me by The RZA).

With every new week comes an onslaught of titles as if we were makin’ babies, little digital destroyers. Plan you future accordingly. Purchases guarantee citizenship. Snipes arrives as The Marksman on 9.06.05. Michelle Yeoh has no limits in Silver Hawk on 9.27.05 and Jack O’Lantern with his Freddy gloves slices and dices your inhibitions on 9.20.05.

Outsourcing Your Titles Since 2005

Region Free DVDs are here to stay. At least until the HD-DVD/Blu-Ray format war comes along. I’m foreseeing skulls and bones lining the road, as a TH(x)D-DVD comes into frame, crushing everything within its Red Laser eye. It then fights against the TBLU-DVD with its evil Blue eye. Carnage will ensue. No one will be spared. So, while we wait for eminent doom, remember to check out those titles that debut overseas before somebody in your neighborhood boasts that they knew it before you did. Fight the forces of that guy. Don’t let him win.

CormanRoger Corman brings another one of his patented low-budget supernatural thrillers into the fold with The Undead. You can most likely expect to get what you asked for: a thrilling adventure with a troupe of people against some evil odds, a bevy of beautiful ladies (Corman loves ‘em) and enough talky dialogue to make your head spin. "Two psychic researchers procure the services of a lady of the night (played by Pamela Duncan) and send her back in time under hypnosis in an attempt to record her past-life experiences as a condemned witch in the Dark Ages. When they learn of the fate that awaits her in the past the doctors try to save the girl from her own execution, by regressing back to the same period to try and help her. However, by avoiding her fate, the girl is irrevocably altering the course of history. It is only through the death of the witch that the subsequent reincarnations might happen, as the girl takes her fate into her own hands…" Corman loves his insanely weird plots, so it’s high time that you just sit back and let the film work its charm all over you. A large tarp would probably be useful to shield yourself.

Rise from the grave with: an audio interview with producer Samuel Z. Arkoff, 9 trailers for The Arkoff Film Library and some postcards. This is a Region 2 PAL Release.

Zabriskie PointMaster filmmaker Michelangelo Antonioni’s only American film, Zabriskie Point, probably won’t see life in the states for quite some time, being that we love our films to have explosions and yelling, not esoteric narrative conventions and a car blowing up. We need a thousand cars. We need those cars to be a hummer, careening downward on a hellish chase through Cuba, ruining the shanty town it surrounds. That’s more like it. "The film, initially presented in quasi-documentary style, presents a group of college activists discussing key issues of their political agenda. Mark steals an airplane and flies over a desert where he meets Daria. She is the pot-smoking secretary to businessman Lee Allen, while he is a rebel searching for a worthy cause. In the midst of the arid surroundings, Mark and Daria fall in love. This is Antonioni’s nonrealistic approach to American counterculture myths" The soundtrack comes courtesy of the rocking blowhards known as Pink Floyd, The Grateful Dead, Kaleidoscope, The Rolling Stones, John Fahey, The Youngbloods and Patti Page. If you do choose to see it, I consider the film to be an interesting opposing POV against the man’s other works (especially stacked against L’Avventura). Not to say that it doesn’t work, because it slightly does. Working in the way that not many others have traveled, Antonioni’s film is a lesser known effort from one of the greats.

Features include: optional Russian subtitles, because those Russkies get everything before us!

Class of 1984You might still be in class as we speak, finishing up your polishing touches on what David Lee Roth referred to as "hot for teacher", but realize you never had it as bad as the kids from Class Of 1984. While there are those eagerly awaiting the US release of the film, if you’re region free, the film streets in the UK on 7.18.05, which is a mere couple of days away. The BBFC (Britain’s rating classification board) rejected the films liberal use of a rather graphic rape sequence way back in 1987 with the film nearing its home video release. Leave it to Mosaic Media to bring you the film UNCUT and with a complete recommendation from director Mark Lester, who is "absolutely thrilled". Join "Andy Norris, a mild mannered music teacher who has lofty ambitions with his new teaching position at Lincoln High. This is a school were juvenile delinquency is top of the syllabus and kids are weapons searched at the gates. King immediately crosses swords with borderline psychotic Peter (Timothy Van Patten) who’s much more interested in pimping girls than completing his homework. Peter’s got it out for the class do-gooder Arthur (Micheal J. Fox) and sets about to destroy his life before arranging his cronies to gang-rape Norris’ wife. This leads to a revenge the gang never knew existed from their teacher" as he Peckinpah’s everything in sight. Interested? You should be.

School’s out for summer and revenge, assholes! – with: an audio commentary with Director Mark Lester, TV spots and theatrical trailers. This is a Region 02 PAL Release.

Thank you for your cooperation. Good night.

Missed anything from weeks past? In that case, this is where you’d go to find stuff. I can’t, however, find your dad’s missing Hustler’s (hint: Grandpa took them) or your Mom’s very large lubricated can of Vaseline (hint: Cowboy hat wearing Burt Reynolds stole it, smushing it between his toes).

07/12: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure,
(CHUD’s DVD Review – Coming Soon), Million Dollar Baby (Russ’ DVD
Review – Coming Soon
), A Very Long Engagement (Russ’ DVD
), Cry Baby,
The Best of He-Man And The Masters of the
Universe: 10 Episode Collector’s Edition
, Illegally Yours, Love
At First Bite
, Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Dracula
III Legacy
, Unfaithfully Yours: Criterion, Le Notti Bianche: Criterion,
At Bernies
, Night Moves (Ian’s DVD Rack Review),
Vintage Mickey (Eileen’s DVD Rack Review), Best
Of Britney, Justin and Christina
(Eileen’s DVD Rack Review), Confessions of an American Bride
(Wade’s DVD Rack Review), Dawn
(Eileen’s DVD Rack Review), The Best of the Mickey Mouse Club
(Eileen’s DVD Rack Review) and Dodgeball:
Unrated Edition
. Check out last weeks’ Special Edition, devoted
entirely to the merits of Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2, right here.

Hide and Seek, Film Noir Classics Collection: Vol. Two
(check out Ian’s Clash By Night Review,
My Born To Kill Review here, My Review
here, and My Mangled Word
Review of
here, and The Narrow Margin), Point
(a kickass movie, if I do say so), Bride & Prejudice,
Prozac Nation (Ian’s DVD Review), Dear
, Twenty Bucks, Fantastic Four – The
Complete Animated Series
, Monk: Season Three, Strange
, In My Country, Cool Surface, Blue
Ridge Fall
and Hexed. Check out the Special Edition
for 07.04 during your furious masturbation sessions right here

The prophecy is true! No one checks these out!
CHUD’s DVD Reviews
CHUD’s DVD Reviews and Discussion Forum

Marty! We’ve Got To Go Back!

To the Bargain Bin! As you know, every week I rape, pillage, and generally get all uppity in your face (translation: I write unfunny words that you gloss over), in order to bring you cheapskates the best deals around town. RED means that price is the lowest out of all of the selected stores. YELLOW means that there is a sale happening somewhere in that store. If you get a tremendously awesome deal that I forgot to mention, let me know! I’d love to tell others how to circumvent and stick it to the DVD retailing man as well.

Constantine is $21.56 (Deluxe Edition is $24.35)
Ice Princess is $21.59
Man Of The House is $21.44
Earth 2 is $36.00
Paranoid is $12.38
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary is $19.50
Crow: Wicked Prayer is $20.51
Cleopatra 2525 is $36.00
Sliders: Season Three is $41.97
Dead Like Me: Season Two is $32.62
Million Dollar Baby is $16.14

Browse the multi-region DVD retailers and their sales right here! (click on the store name to get mashed away into spending!)
xploitedcinema.com, HkFlix.com, diabolikdvd.com, DDDHouse and YesAsia.com

Constantine is $14.99
(they’re not selling the Deluxe Edition)
Ice Princess is $14.99
Man Of The House is $14.99

Constantine is $17.87 (Deluxe Edition is $26.34)
Ice Princess is $19.88
Man Of The House is $24.61
Saved By The Bell: Season Five is $19.88
Earth 2 is $42.48
Paranoid is $13.88
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary is $21.22
Crow: Wicked Prayer is $19.88
Cleopatra 2525 is $42.48

Constantine is $20.29 (Deluxe Edition is $21.69)
Ice Princess is $20.99
Man Of The House is $19.99
Earth 2 is $34.99
Paranoid is $17.98
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary is $18.72
Crow: Wicked Prayer is $20.99
Cleopatra 2525 is $37.49
Sliders: Season Three is $41.99
Dead Like Me: Season Two is $34.97
Ludacris The Red Light District is $8.98
A $10 SALE, involving: Princess Diaries, Big
, Little Black Book and Open Water

A $7.50 SALE, which includes: Little Women, Manchurian
, School of Rock and Italian Job

Circuit City:
Constantine is $14.99 (Deluxe Edition is $22.99)
Ice Princess is $19.99
The Pacifier is $19.99
3 Ninjas Trilogy is $19.99
Man Of The House is $17.99
Earth 2 is $39.99
Paranoid is $15.99
Crow: Wicked Prayer is $24.99
Cleopatra 2525 is $39.99
Sliders: Season Three is $59.99
Dead Like Me: Season Two is $49.96
Laguna Beach is $27.99
A $10.00 SALE, involving: Matrix, Matrix
, Matrix Revolutions, Kill Bill Volume 1, Kill
Bill Volume 2
, Hair Show, Anchorman, Usual
, Godfather, Godfather 2, Godfather 3, Meet
the Parents
, Snatch