Another week, another slew of DVD titles awaits you. A lot of titles, to be exact. Are they good? Do you consider The Garbage Pail Kids to be amazing? Yeah, didn’t think so. How about Illegally Yours? I think the power of Greyskull is commanding all of us to purchase a couple of great titles this week. So, in the immortal words of Tone Loc: let’s do it.
People Try To Put Us D-Down
Fire up your worn copy of Also sprach Zarathustra and sit back as an intense musical harmony overtakes you on your journey into the most triumphant beyond. If you want to chant ‘ziggy piggy’ too, as Bobby Brown once said: it’s your prerogative. Either way, Bill & Ted’s Most Excellent Collection is (almost) ready for you to rock out on. While I’m sure most of you are eagerly anticipating the full-circle adventures of your two favorite people in the whole goddamned universe, let’s take a moment out to discuss the finer things in life. Such as: whaddya wanna do with it? If you answered: I wanna rock! before jumping into a big haired heavy metal air guitar rendition of awfulness, you’d be correct, although you’re probably doomed to fail, being you can’t play real guitar at all (me? I play horrific air bongos). Meanwhile, as strange things go all weird and shit at the Circle K (besides destroying all corners in the west, I’m looking at you Arizona…) remember that Rufus has this all thought out in order for you to succeed on your history paper. ’cause otherwise, there’s always Alaska! Whoa. So join So-crates Johnson, Napoleon, Bob "Genghis" Khan, Missy of Arc, Dr. Dennis ("tell me about your mother") Frood, Abraham ("be excellent to each other") Lincoln, Dave Beth Oven, and Herman the Kid for one of the greatest Excellent Adventures of our time, especially since Mr. Preston is getting it on in your own room with the chick you asked to prom. Then there’s always part two, because it’s coming on strong, whether or not you’re a king or a little street sweeper. Bogus Journey, besides being a sequel the likes of which even Godfather II cannot parallel, gives Bergman a run for his foreign money with its treatise on death, life, and sinking your battleship, dude. Hell, even if you have seen it all, check out Mr. Topps (aka Joss Ackland) as Chuck De Nomolos and his evil cyborg clones of Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan. He’s a heinous bastard. I’ll see you at the Battle of the Bands, bitches!
Sam Dimas High School Football rules! – with: an Air Guitar Tutorial, a documentary: "The Most Triumphant Making-Of Documentary", featurettes ("The Original Bill & Ted: In Conversation with Chris & Ed", "The Hysterical Personages of Bill & Ted", "The Hysterical Personages of Bill & Ted (in 8 Minutes or Less)", "The Linguistic Stylings of Bill and Ted" and "Score! An Interview with Guitarist Steve Vai"), "Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures" cartoon episode (One Sweet and Sour Chinese Adventure To Go), "Bill & Ted‘s Excellent Comic Book" 20 still photos, some radio spots and the theatrical trailers.
Alex Winter’s inspired Freaked finally hits the digital shores, storming your beaches with a cacophony of zaniness. Mr. T as the bearded lady? Randy Quaid? In a movie that isn’t sub-par? Like Nick, the film has eluded my viewing hunger, but Anchor Bay is giving the film the deluxe treatment after years of neglect and bootlegs amongst your friends’ friends. "Alex Winter (of BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE) stars as Ricky Coogin, an arrogant former child star who becomes the celebrity spokesman for toxic fertilizer Zygrot-24. But when Ricky is taken prisoner by demented sideshow impresario Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid), he is transformed into a hideous mutant freak to join the likes of The Bearded Lady (Mr. T), Sockhead (Bobcat Goldthwait), a human worm, a giant nose, and their fearless leader, Ortiz The Dog Boy (an uncredited – and unforgettable – performance by Keanu Reeves). Can a hack actor-turned-genetic nightmare now survive an evil conspiracy of corporate sleazebags, desperate milkmen, Rastafarian eyeballs, canned cheese and most horrifying of all, Brooke Shields? It’s time to get FREAKED!" Supposedly, Winter is being inspired by the rattatattat style of (self) clowin’ that was prevalent back in the day (pre-Wayans!) and that spills over into the material, which is a labor of love for all involved. You’ll be screwing the box in no time, cuddling with it, and sleeping next to it at night. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to cleanse myself with some heavy industrial soap.
Whatever I do, I’m garaunteed to shine, I wanna see if your pony is genuine, Nobody can freak me like you – with: commentary by directors/Writers Alex Winter and Tom Stern, a featurette: Hijinx in Freek Land, a conversation with writer Tim Burns, the theatrical trailer and deleted scenes, a Freaked art gallery and DVD-ROM screenplay. That’s just on disc 1! Disc 2 comes with: Freaked: The Reehersel Version: Full-length rehearsal of the film with scenes & dialogue cut from the final film, early script readings of selected scenes, terrifying footage featuring the character of Stuey Gluck, behind-the-scenes video of the construction of Freek Land, witness Alex Winter’s makeup transformation and two short films by Tom Stern and Alex Winter: Squeal of Death – NYU Sight & Sound Project. The last two I cannot wait to see, having sat through a hell of a lot of sight & sound shorts. Hope they’re good!
Warner Brothers held off on this one for a while (they almost pulled the plug!), but last years’ Best Picture Winner, Million Dollar Baby (read Nick’s "be swept away in meat!" Review right here before calmly waiting for Russ Fischer’s DVD Review which is arriving momentarily!) is finally punching Tuesday’s release date into a haze of craziness. Clint Eastwood, or as we call him around my home CLINT the Destroyer™, is Frankie Dunn, a veteran boxing trainer 
who life isn’t really digging at the moment. Then, along comes Maggie Fitzgerald, another kindred soul who’s also at a crossroads, and the two form and inescapable bond, like Tango & Cash, but without the ass slapping. Disregarding both of their ages, combined to form Captain Earth Dust, the pair begins to feel each other out, discovering strengths neither knew. As they cut a swath across America and its pansy ass girlie fighters, Eastwood directs with a visual economy, using only the bare essentials in telling his superb story that’s as much as a downer as Mr. Happy Fun Time is all about sodomy and candy canes. This is Eastwood working at the top of his game, swiftly, emotionally, and as sparsely as possible, and the end result is something short of amazing. Now that all of you out there have seen Sideways and it’s innate intimacy set against the backdrop of the Prussian Wine war of 1756, it’s time to see what else can be achieved in one of the greatest film years ever (and I don’t mean 2005, which has so-far, been rather limp).
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and I’ll give ya something to cry about you little bastard!" – with 2 editions: the 2 disc Widescreen and the 3 disc Deluxe Edition. The Widescreen version comes with: James Lipton Takes on Three: 25-minute roundtable with Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman, and moderator James Lipton, Born to Fight: examines the parallels of the movie to real-life boxer Lucia Rijker and the Producers Round 15: behind the scenes. The 3 disc Deluxe Edition comes with everything above and the CD soundtrack, splendidly scored by Eastwood himself.
Do you speak French? Chances are if you do, and you actually make a movie in France with French speaking actors and crew and have Warner Independent Money that trickles down into France, that your film won’t be considered French. It’s too Hollywood. Oddly enough, I don’t think you could ever call a Jean-Pierre Jeunet movie ‘too Hollywood’ considering that he’s one of the premiere creative forces driving the industry today. His films are filled with whimsy, wonderful uses of colors, great bouts of sarcasm, and enough visual flourishes to keep you sufficiently espoused. However, in adapting the novel A Very Long Engagement to the screen, Jeunet immediately becomes more somber, a little more hardened, and more wonderful than you could have imagined. Working again with the lovely and gorgeous Audrey Tautou, who plays Mathilde, the pair thrive off of one another, not unlike Fred Ward did with the Tremors franchise. Tatou is "separated from her lover by World War I refuses to believe he’s been killed and launches an investigation into his fate–an investigation that spins in all directions, creating dozens of miniature stories that shift to and fro in time. The dazzling curlicues of narrative put brutality and tenderness back to back, shifting between crushing inevitabilities and miraculous rescues with deft storytelling skill." This is most likely Jeunet’s best film, although City of Lost Children is high up there for me.
Come out faster than Chinese Democracy with: an audio commentary by director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, some deleted scenes with Jeunet commentary, featurette: The Making of A Very Long Engagement, two documentaries: Paris in the 20’s and Before the Explosion: about the Zeppelin explosion and the original theatrical trailer.
Long considered to be John Water’s most ‘mainstream’ film (if you don’t count cross dressing, vomiting and eating a massive dump in Pink Flamingos as mainstream), his Director’s Cut of Cry Baby has Johnny Depp constantly with a tear in his eye. Quite possibly it’s a side effect of being in one too many seasons of 21 Jump Street and his desire to escape. Anyway, Waters loves his sexually charged films, like Devin and his communists, but when he’s not busy reading or thinking up new ways to stick a baby’s bottle into a small musty box, he contents himself watching the old social pictures of the 50’s like Rebel Without A Cause. "Depp is pure charisma as a juvenile delinquent with a permanent tear slithering down his cheek, a reminder of his state executed parents. In the depths of his despair appears goody-goody girl Allison (Amy Locane), who has a sexual crush on Cry-Baby. But Allison’s Pat Boone-like boyfriend, Baldwin (Stephen E. Miller), the leader of the squares, is dead set against Cry-Baby and the rest of the juvenile delinquents and leads a jihad against them. In the resultant riot, the juvenile delinquents are blamed for the chaos, and Cry-Baby finds himself dispatched to reform school." Enjoy this relatively uncensored Waters while you can, because it’s only a matter of time before you get the Boxed Set Review of craziness courtesy of your friends at CHUD.
Keep America Beautiful with: "It Came from Baltimore," an in-depth making-of featurette with John Waters and cast and some never-before-available deleted scenes.
Throw on your skimpy, yet form fitting armor ’round your pecks, and hike your short shorts up to your thighs, ’cause by the power of Grayskull, He-Man is back to quell the rumors that he’s not gay. Seriously. You have the power! – to decide, that is, but your nostalgia knows no bounds when considering to purchase The Best of He-Man And The Masters of the Universe: 10 Episode Collector’s Edition. One of the best things about this show is that unlike today’s day and age, where everything is about killin’ and maimin’ your opponent, He-Man taught us the basics. How to love, how to feel, how to be yourself in the face of danger and nair-like manly man legs. Skeletor will have none of that, of course, as the sonofabitch battles against all that is good in the world just so he can get control over the mysterious Castle Greyskull, man. His voice still haunts me in my dreams, as it wafts over me like the stink of Leonard Part Six. This 10 episode Collector’s Edition sails over you too, shunning full seasons in honor of Greyskull’s power. Presented alongside the boxed set are: On Disc 1: Teela’s Quest, Diamond Ray of Disappearance, Prince Adam No More, Quest for He-Man and Evilseed. On Disc 2 (best of Season 2) are: Origin of the Sorceress, The Problem with Power, To Save Skeletor, Teela’s Triumph, Into the Abyss. Grumble away that they messed everything up. In the meantime, I’m off to figure out where I hid my awesome He-Man action figures.
Have Prince Valiant hair with: 2 documentaries, text/image galleries. DVD-ROM scripts, art cards and trailers!
The culture of excess continues its world denomination tour of this weeks’ SE with a pair of moderately entertaining films about high fallutin’ stuff. First up is the Peter Bogdanovich curio Illegally Yours, which has Robert Helper Lowe pinin’ for a piece of a female white turkey leg. The seemingly awkward screwball comedy has Lowe, the college dropout returning to his roots in St. Augustine, Florida. Coincidentally, when I return to my roots, I usually go someplace other than St. Augustine, which is more like someplace Krull might retire than actually live. In all of this Lowe "is selected for jury duty and falls for the defendant Molly Gilbert (Colleen Camp), a young woman he later recognizes as his grade-school sweetheart. Richard tries to gather the evidence that will lead to her acquittal. He is not alone in his pursuit of an elusive audiotape that recorded the murder for which Molly is on trial." Rejoice for something, although your probably just going to add it to your Lowe collection, which is somewhere in between Wayne’s World and The Outsiders.
George Hamilton vamps it up as Count Dracula and turns in a rather over-the-top (sans Stallone and arm wrestling) performance when he’s evicted by the Communists (- ?) over the rights to his castle in Love At First Bite. So, what does he do? Simple: head out for the capital of the universe: NYC. It’s there that "Klutzy Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James) falls in love with Dracula, not fully aware of his colorful background. But Saint James’ stuffy fiance Dr. Jeff Rosenberg (Richard Benjamin), a descendant of Dracula’s perennial foe Professor Van Helsing, knows what Dracula’s up to and does his best to thwart the vampire’s plan. This proves very difficult, since such time-honored remedies as the stake through the heart are frowned upon by the New York City authorities. Jeff finally loses out when Cindy decides that she wants to be a vampire; she is particularly delighted at the prospect of not having to get up in the morning." Be toned, eerily tanned and ready, ’cause someone’s funny bone is about to get up and loose. Not unlike your zipper when you see the flesh.
Both films are older than you combined and come with the theatrical trailer. I have this strange feeling that the Special Edition of Illegally Yours that you’ve been waiting for is never coming.
Dimension has been mining the Dracula franchise to new lows recently (Dracula 2000 anyone?), so damn them straight to hell for making Dracula III: Legacy and having the balls to include Rutger Hauer as the man in black himself. By doing so this renders all previous incarnations moot, since Hauer is a man of the people, doing their bidding for his previous sins (Artic Blue and Turbulence 3). Then again, the proclaimed "master of horror" is back at it again, and this time: it’s not-so personal as it is sigh inducing. I haven’t seen a scary film of his since approximately Vampire In Brooklyn, but that was because it stole my time away from me, never to return. Hauer flashes his hammy teeth, and bites into the big one, as "the feared Dracula (Hauer) leads vampire hunters Father Uffizi (Lee) and Luke (London) back to eastern Europe and a country plagued by civil war. There they discover powerful local warlords are assisting Dracula by capturing victims and delivering them to feed the vampires residing in Dracula’s castle! And to make matters worse, Father Uffizi must face his own temptations as he struggles to overcome the vampire virus within himself! With sizzling stars, a riveting story and stunning special effects, this suspense-filled thriller will satisfy anyone with a taste for terrifying entertainment!" And by that last part, the synopsis God’s that be have destroyed their kingdom into rubble.
Van Helsing is nowhere to be found with: absolutely no special features. They really love the fans!
Don’t confuse Unfaithfully Yours as the one with Dudley Moore, lest you be shocked into oblivion, like Mitch Pileggi in his favorite chair. This one is actually an older film from the comedic master Preston Sturges, which in today’s code words for the young people means run away, run the fuck away! If you’re adventurous enough to stick around and tough it out … hard (note that there is no underlying sexuality there, nope, none at all) that your patience will be rewarded with a gem of a film. Rex Harrison is "Sir Alfred De Carter, a world-famous symphony conductor consumed with the suspicion that his wife is having an affair. During a concert, the jealous De Carter entertains elaborate visions of vengeance, set to three separate orchestral works. But when he attempts to put his murderous fantasies into action, nothing works out quite as planned." This was also the film Harrison made while going through a very nasty, very public divorce, so it’s even more fun to see the underlying subtext through it all! Even though I’ve been known to look too deeply into things, like The Shadow and Congo.
Robert Bresson actually remade Le Notti Bianche into Four Nights Of A Dreamer, so that right there should clue you into the integrity of the original film. Besides Visconti made The Leopard (buy it from CHUD and get cultured!), a film in which everyone should see at least once. So, counting on that, you’re bound to get some incredible imagery, some spectacular acting, and narrative developments that are as cinematic as the next guy (provided that it’s not Cannon). "Shy young Marcelo Mastroianni ambles across a bridge one evening, where he meets a strange but alluring girl (Maria Schell) who is awaiting her lover. This chance acquaintance is the first strand in a complex web entrapping Mastroianni in a dreamlike world of flashbacks, flashforwards and false visions. The girl, suspecting that her lover is staying at a nearby hotel, asks Mastroianni to deliver a note to the errant swain. He agrees–then destroys the note, setting the plot in motion." Le Notti Bianche was updated from a very old story from Dostoyevsky, so now’s the chance! Do it!
Be black and white and read all over (my horribly unfunny subtitles joke) with these features on Unfaithfully Yours: an audio commentary by Sturges scholars James Harvey, Diane Jacobs, and Brian Henderson, a video introduction by writer-director Terry Jones, a video interview with Sturges’ widow Sandy Sturges, a new essay by novelist Jonathan Lethem (hipster alert!) and a gallery featuring rare production correspondence and stills. Le Notti Bianche comes with: a collection of interviews from 2003 featuring screenwriter Suso Cecchi D’Amico, film critics Laura Delli Colli and Lino Micciche, cinematographer Rotunno, and costume designer Piero Tosi, a new 115-minute recorded reading of Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s short story, downloadable as an MP3 file, rare screen-test footage of Marcello Mastroianni and Maria Schell, a new essay by film scholar Geoffrey Nowell-Smith and the original theatrical trailer.
Now that the foreign films are out of the way, paving the road for most of you to skip (shame!), don’t forget about these films. Make sure to check out Ian’s DVD Rack Review of Night Moves here. Additionally, the Weekend At Bernies new disc just includes a trailer. Looks like we’re going to have to hold off on that Special Edition anytime soon. This reminds me: what the hell was up with the atrocious sequel? Probably voodoo. I’m off to hark up something the Alien Queen might like.
Best Of Britney, Justin and Christina (check out Eileen’s DVD Rack Review here)
Breath of Scandal
Confessions of an American Bride (check out Wade’s DVD Rack Review here)
Dawn Anna (check out Eileen’s DVD Rack Review here)
It Started In Naples
The Nanny: Complete First Season
National Lampoon’s Class Reunion
National Lampoon’s Movie Madness
Sinbad of the Seven Seas (Ferrigno!)
Teen Witch
The Best of the Mickey Mouse Club (check out Eileen’s DVD Rack Review here)
The Party Animal
Twice In A Lifetime
Push It To Pop It! Rock It To Lock It!
Any internet schlub can put Electric Boogaloo after any films title to make them sound funny and clichéd, but in reality: do they understand where it comes from? Have they seen the film? Chances are no, and the result is that they’re missing out on two of the greatest Shabba-Doo Quinones/Boogaloo Shrimp team ups this side of paradise. The eighties produced all too many hits (especially from the TITAN dream team of Golan-Globus) but the Breakin’ series stands above all as provocateurs of the nature of dance. Granted, there’s always Rappin’, but let’s concentrate on The Breakin’ Collection which is going to bust a move on 08.16.05. As it was with the 80’s a local youth center is threatening to be shut down (damn those Reganomics!), and the youth of the nation have to do what they do in order to save their livelihood of uncorrupted chutzpah. Later on, of course, they’d surely discover mounds of coke John-Erik Hexum and Gekko-greed, but for now, their childlike sensibilities only allowed them to dance the night and day away. While Breakin’ is the better movie of the two, Breakin’ 2 is all class, entertaining you from the get-go, jonesin’ your feet into submission and your back into spinnin’. Where else can you see Turbo dancing on the walls and then the ceiling? You’re not going to get this sort of attention to detail in You Got Served, I can tell you that. I guess it’s just best that I do a stunt down the stairs and then you can cut to a 300 lb. stuntman that looks nothing like me. That’s the attention to specifics we’re talking about here. Two seminal works of the highest order. Or was that the highest kickstep? Infectious grooves are upon us and no one is safe.
Details are as sketchy as a white New England boy learning the 6-step, but the Collection looks to include the documentary Beat Street on top of a whole slew of extras. Thanks to Twitchfilm.net for the cover art.
The new season of Family Guy has had its share of ups and downs, but that’s the essence of comedy. One of my favorite bits was with the Fire truck while the Ambulance will have to wait another day, and vomiting into oblivion! Many people though that the whole new season after its cancellation would come back and cater to the most common denominator, but fate has shown them kinda wrong. Fox, sensing that there’s gold in them thar hills (again) has fashioned the creative team to come up with Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, which comes out on 09.27.05 and is direct-to-DVD for all y’alls. "In this exclusive 83 minute DVD premiere, featuring brand new, never before seen content, Stewie, the maniacal baby genius, is distracted from his plans for world domination when he sees a man who looks just like him on television. Convinced that this man must be his real father (after all, how could he possibly share genetic material with the dimwitted Peter?), Stewie sets off on a cross-country road trip to find him. But his incredible journey leads him to discoveries far more vile and shocking that anything found in his diaper." Can the series sustain ballooning themselves this big? The Simpsons never did anything like this, as far as I could remember, although He-Man surely did.
Milk your golden cow for as long as you can! – with: an alternate "Unrated" audio track, Audio Commentary (specs for the UMD, released day-and-date mention that there’ll be 03 tracks: one for Creator/Writer commentary, Cast commentary and scene specific commentary by Peter, Stewie and Brian), a "Making of" featurette, an animatic comparison, and 2 previews (for American Dad: Season Two and Family Guy: Season Four).
Because I believe that you can never go wrong with too much Cover Art, here’s the latest mini-extravaganza to entice your eyes or to make them recoil. John Landis’ Blues Brothers: 25th Anniversary Edition comes via Universal (they sure do love their quadruple dips, don’t they?) on 08.30.05. Da Ali G Show’s Second Season streets on 09.13.05 (thanks to dvdanswers.com for the art) and The Sisterhood of _ Pants comes out on 09.27.05.
Ninjas Have Real Ultimate Region Free Power
You cannot argue. Since Ninjas are cool. Especially ones that repel downward and shit. You just can’t win, James, ’cause Ninjas’ are where it’s at. Throwing stars, using swords to chop their enemies in two (including Norris! although he’s a goddamned hero) and just being stealthy all the time. How does this translate into Region Free titles? Well, it doesn’t. I just wanted to spread the Ninja love. Vanilla Ice and I thank you. Beebop and Rockystead thank you too. Shredder would have, but he’s off being a douchebag.
Scary Movies for me are just about every horror movie ever made. I nearly lost all bladder control when the ghost appears out of the mist in What Lies Beneath (even though the film isn’t that great, like a punch to your balls) or even when Willy Wonka starts singing his demented song to the children. In short, I’m a gigantic whale vagina. As the tears stream down my face and the repressed memories of wire coat hangers from childhood flash by, I was reminded that The Innocents is out, being All Region and all. By far one of the best psychological scares I’ve had in some time, it’s unavailable in the states, although I wish Fox would get out the Vote and release it – pronto! "19th century British governess Miss Giddens (Deborah Kerr) arrives at a bleak mansion to take care of Flora and Miles, the wealthy household’s two children. Outwardly the children are little darlings, but the governess begins to feel that there’s something unwholesome behind those beatific smiles. After several disturbing examples of the children’s evil impulses, Miss Giddens gets information from the housekeeper that suggests that the children may be possessed by malign spirits — or are all these events just the products of Miss Giddens’s own imagination?" The scenes by the boat house really send a chill down my gullible spine, and I can’t wait to revisit this film.
Screw until you turn scared with: Anamorphic Widescreen (Brand New 16:9 Transfer – ratio 2.35:1), a stills and poster gallery and the theatrical trailer. This is an All Region PAL release.
Angus Scrimm returns as The Tall Man in your favorite film of all time: Phantasm 2. You know, that guy who used to be a mortician who bleeds embalming fluid and spouts off crazy lines like "when you die, you come to US!" before using his small friend to destroy the lives right out of your pants. Hell, he’s not unlike Jason’s Mom, cradling the balls of the young in her womb. James LeGros is still plagued by those awful memories of the flying brain juicier, enough to send him packing to the nut farm! "Mike has been a patient in a mental institution for the last decade, insisting that the Tall Man is real; he still appears in his dreams ten years after their first encounter. When Mike changes his tune and says that the undead undertaker was merely a hallucination, he is finally released. However, Mike and his best friend Reggie are actually out to find the Tall Man and put an end to his habits of grave-robbing and draining people’s bodies with his flying brain-juicer." Director Don Coscarelli comes back and ready for more blood, action, and gore beyond belief with this one, so check it out!
You play a good game boy, but the game is finished, now you die … with: a 2 disc Special Edition! Disc One has "Behind Phantasm 2" – 2 hours of behind the scenes footage, Angus Scrimm at 1989 Fangoria Convention, 3 TV Spots, a photo gallery and the theatrical trailer. Disc Two has Phantasmania Convention Footage (66 mins), Fangoria Convention Footage (30 Mins) and the Phantasm II Workprint (106 mins) – English Audio (with timecode). This is a Region 0 PAL release.
There have always been Bond ripoffs and Mission Bloody Mary is no exception. I’ll always be partial to Remo Williams myself, although that’s just in the same league. Now, we leave it to the Broccoli siblings to have us wait and wait and wait some more until our ears bleed. I just want a new spectacular Bond adventure from Martin Campbell, who makes fun entertaining films. Meanwhile, those Italians are at it this time, bringing the adventures of Agent 077 (hmmm, very subtle). "What agent 007 is to the British secret service, agent 077 (played by Ken Clark) is to the American CIA. A portable and dangerous bomb is stolen by "The Black Lily" and is to be sold to the Chinese. Agent 077 is assigned to recover the weapon and his search takes him through breath-taking scenery of Europe. With help from Dr. Elsa Freeman (Helga Liné), they chase the bomb from Paris to Madrid and Athens. Will they be able to retrieve the bomb code named "Bloody Mary", before it falls in to the wrong hands? Enjoy this captivating spy thriller that launched Ken Clark into international stardom and has earned fans all around the world." For a moment there, the synopsis almost had me. Ken Clark? Like the filmmaker? Then I realized it was Larry, and all bets were off. That would be strangely cool, though…
Rip everything off with: English audio, "Fury on the Bosphorus" Trailer, a poster gallery and the original theatrical trailer. This is a Region 0 NTSC release.
Jazzophone!
I swear to god that Bono yells that out in Vertigo. After he spouts off 1, 2, 3, 14. Yes, re-listen to the song. It’s 14. But now I’m on to bigger and better things, like figuring out what the hell Jazzophone means. You can help me out, if you’d like. Don’t forget in between pondering to check out what else has come out in the weeks previous! Satan shakes your hand gently before swallowing your soul.
07/04: Hide and Seek, Film Noir Classics Collection:
Vol. Two (check out Ian’s Clash By Night Review, My Born To Kill Review here, My Review of Dillinger here,
and My Mangled Word Review of Crossfire here, and be warned the Review of The Narrow Margin is
COMING SOON), Point Blank (a kickass movie, if I do say so), Bride
& Prejudice, Prozac Nation, Dear Frankie, Twenty
Bucks, Fantastic
Four – The Complete Animated Series, Monk: Season Three, Strange
Bedfellows, In My Country, Cool Surface, Blue Ridge Fall and Hexed.
Check out last weeks’ Special Edition in between writing me horrific hate mail
right here!
06/28:
The Pacifier (C. Nathan’s DVD Review),
Nick Frost’s Danger! 50,000 Volts!, Daily Show: Indecision
2004, Ren & Stimpy: Seasons Three and a Half-ish, Diary
Of A Mad Black Woman (Eileen’s DVD Rack Review),
Cadet Kelly (William’s DVD Rack Review),
The Even Stevens Movie (William’s DVD Rack Review), Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry: Supercharged Edition,
Gunner Palace (David’s DVD Review), Browning
Version: Criterion, Crazed Fruit: Criterion, Stone
Cold (My Awful DVD Review), Revelations:
Complete Series, La Femme Nikita: Season Three and Acacia.
Check out the Special Edition for 06.28.05 for any title you forgot to go in
bankruptcy on!
Access and Discuss these!
CHUD’s DVD Reviews
CHUD’s DVD Reviews and Discussion Forum
If you don’t, the world will end, or so said Von Sydow.
Cheapskates Only Need Apply
It’s that time of the week (thankfully, not that time of the month) where we discuss DVD bargains throughout the hallowed lands of the internet in order to purge all of your remaining moolah into quick cash for the studios. Good for them that you check this out, because the last thing they want you to do is pull a fast one on you. Buckle up, ’cause it’s going to be relatively easy and painless. RED means that the price is the lowest around for all stores. YELLOW means that the store in question is having a SALE. If you see any other colors, e-mail me to tell me that this unfunny wordplay should be retired. Thanks!
deepdiscountdvd.com:
Bill & Ted’s Most Excellent Collection is $26.10
Freaked is $11.99
Million Dollar Baby is $20.29 (DE is $29.99)
A Very Long Engagement is $22.49
Cry Baby is $13.99
Night Moves is $13.26
He-Man & Masters of the Universe Best-of is $14.97
Sealab 2021: Season Three is $23.39
Illegally Yours is $9.12
Love at First Bite is $9.12
Tales from the Crypt: Season One is $19.80
Unfaithfully Yours: Criterion is $21.56
Le Notti Bianche: Criterion is $21.56
Dracula III: Legacy is $20.51
After The Sunset is $11.99
Browse the multi-region DVD retailers and their sales right here! (click on the store name to get mashed away into spending!)
xploitedcinema.com, HkFlix.com, diabolikdvd.com, and YesAsia.com
Wal*Mart:
Bill & Ted’s Most Excellent Collection is $33.97
Freaked is $13.72
Million Dollar Baby is $16.87 (DE is $25.49)
A Very Long Engagement is $19.88