STUDIO :Warner Bros.
MSRP: $14.99

The Pitch

“Chuck Norris kicks the hell out of people in Hong Kong!”

The Humans

Chuck Norris (Firewalker, Top Dog), Bob Minor (Commando, Action Jackson), May Louise Weller (Animal House, Q: The Winged Serpent), Michael Cavanaugh (The Gauntlet, Full Fathom Five) numerous goons for pummeling

The Nutshell

Josh Randall (Norris) is the head of security for a popular Hong Kong casino. A Vietnam veteran who was taken in by Sam, the establishment’s now-retired Jewish-American owner, Josh now troubleshoots for Sam’s half-Asian son, who gets on the wrong side of a rival casino owner (Cavanaugh) and winds up getting himself and his father killed. Pissed, Josh collects Sam’s daughter to keep her safe while he goes on a merciless rampage against the evil casino boss and his hordes of henchmen.

"Excuse me, I’m looking for an address… is this the 80s?"

The Package

The look of the film itself smacks of the period, but at least the widescreen transfer has captured it well. The slapping of Chuck’s fists on enemy flesh and Chinese-themed score are heard through a perceptible mono audio. There’s also a trailer and more outdated fashion than most people can handle in concentrated doses.

Much to Popeye’s misfortune, Chuck fuckin’ hated cartoons.

The Lowdown

It’s a Chuck Norris action movie from the early 80s, so you get exactly what you’d expect. The acting is terrible (the reaction of Sam’s daughter upon learning of his death is about as intense as if you told her you accidentally got a couple of anchovies on her side of the pizza), the fight choreography is slightly better than an average episode of The A-Team, and the story is an excuse for Norris (who relies solely on his cowboy hat and lip fuzz to emote for him) to repeatedly punch, kick and shoot various humans. Just look at the title, which all but guarantees that someone’s gonna meet a bloody end (Cavanaugh’s demise after a protracted yacht battle is particularly amusing) thanks to Norris’ heels and knuckles. It’s not a Golan-Globus movie, but it’s definitely a glimpse of Chuck’s future Cannon career.

6.0 out of 10