Director Uwe Boll catches a lot of flak from people online. This may be due to celluloid atrocities like House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, or perhaps it’s just his dodgy elocution and blame-shifting. Still, Dr. Boll is indeed a qualified filmmaker, at least in the respect that he captures images of actors moving and speaking.
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But he won’t be alone in the suffering of Boll’s sword-and-sorcery flick – joining him is DNA thief Leelee Sobieski, Matthew Lillard, B-movie regular Ron Perlman, Kristanna Loken (who obviously enjoyed her Bloodrayne experience), John Rhys-Davies (who never met a paycheck he didn’t like), and Burt Reynolds in a comeback-crushing turn.
Boll has managed to accumulate a $60 million budget for this latest foray into ineptitude, so either one of his wealthy acquaintances is involved in a bizarre sort of laundering scheme, or the Bavarian New World Order is continuing their secret plot to slowly throw the worldwide economy out of balance and take over the planet through bad cinema.
The movie, based on the best-selling RPG videogame, involves an evil army storming through a fantasy realm or something, although I can’t remember much of the “story” as I maneuvered my scantily-clad character through caves and smashed the shit out of spiders and Krugs. Boll (who still has a bucket of other game properties on tap, including Far Cry, Hunter: The Reckoning and Fear Effect) previously described the Dungeon Siege property as “Braveheart meets Lord of the Rings,” implying that someone has been drinking heartily from the fountain of delusion. But hey, someone bought into it…