Your letters. My smartass replies.The Steady Leak
may not be so steady these days, but your letters have been, so I must
share them and answer them so that the wheels keep turning on this
crazy little bitch. Feel free to ask whatever about whomever or
whatever, and I’ll do my best to answer it. Letters in here might be
positive, negative, or indifferent and I’ll try to maintain a balance.
Please keep sending them in (SEND A LETTER), as it’s you who fuels this column. With that said, here we go….

Come around here often?

Broken Record.

Mitch to the left!Michael writes:

Hey. I love your site but the ads you have on there recently have made unreadable. The Batman Begins ad? Where do I X it out?
Fantastic Four? I use firefox for a reason. I hate Pop up ads and so does Millions of others. I would suggest to you to stop these sneaky
(pop-in?) ads. Anyway, I will return when these are fixed.

Nick’s Reply: Firefox has its flaws too. Here’s a tip. If the ad is nuts, hit ‘refresh’. It’s usually gone as advertisers have a cap on how many times a day someone can see an ad. Otherwise, please enjoy the rest of your life while visiting lesser movie sites because our ads scared you away.


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Shark Teeth.

Mitch to the right.Pearce writes:

I’ll make this brief. How do you think the buzz around
Susan Casey’s new book, The Devil’s Teeth, might affect Meg? I was just reading
an article about the book and plan on reading it at first chance. Perhaps it
will generate some good shark fever? I am a big fan of the books (Meg) and a
huge fan of CHUD so I am really looking forward to the production. Go

Nick’s Reply: Read it. Liked it. There have been a ton of shark attacks this summer and I’d assume all of those will feed the built-in fear of sharks. How it’ll affect MEG is unknown because at the end of the day the movie will be a much different animal.


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Paying Attention?

Mitch to the left!Renee writes

Does not give away free passes anymore?

Nick’s Reply: Only more than ever. I don’t assume you read the site much, as our ‘Contests’ page (notice the navigation on the top and bottom of every page of this site) is contantly updated with new screenings. That said, if you only come here for free passes I wish you wouldn’t at all.


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Mitch to the right.Jeremy writes:

I’d like to ask you a question that nobody else has asked so far from the letters featured in "The Steady Leak." My question to you is, which actor would you like to see portray The Joker in the potential sequel to Batman Begins?

I’m intrigued to hear your answer since you definitely got your wish as to who should portray Batman/Bruce Wayne (Bale was my #2).

My feeling is that the actor should be a serious actor with some major chops so that the role will not fall prey to jumping the shark by resorting to an *over-the-top* performance. And this is why I am somewhat dismayed to see that the WB suits have not yet considered British actor Christopher Eccleston for the role. Not only does he have the required talent, but he already looks the part, as any Google Image Search of his name will attest to.

I suspect the true reason why Eccleston has not been seriously suggested (apart from my rabid postings on AICN….granted, I was the sole rabid poster on AICN for years suggesting Ra’s Al Ghul for the villain of the next Bat film, so I feel somewhat vindicated) by the brass is because the new Doctor Who series has not been televised officially in America. I speculate that had there been exposure here to the show, Eccleston would currently be an official suggested name for the role. Like or dislike the new show, Eccleston’s performance in the 13 episodes were grand, and I’d suggest that fans of Buffy/Angel that are unaware of the classic show should check out the new series even if they have to resort to finding it via the *cough* Torrent links *cough* or import the Region2 DVDs.

Anyways, I look forward to reading your thoughts (and Devin’s too if he contributes them) on who should take over the role of The Joker in the next theatrical outing.

ps. I hope Nolan and Goyer will plan on a return for Ra’s by the third film because it would be great to introduce his daughter Talia (portrayed by Monica Bellucci or Angelina Jolie) as Batman’s true love interest. Hopefully, they’ll be able to pronounce Al Ghul’s first name properly (RAYSH) the second time around.

Nick’s Reply: I honestly have no interest in seeing the Joker in the next film. Not a bit. The character is tarnished for me and the inevitable Nicholson comparisons will be a lot to stomach from people who simply have no idea how damaging that casting decision ultimately was to the franchise. I’ve always liked John Glover for the part but he’s a little long in the tooth to square off against Bale. Plus, who knows what this film will ultimately pull in? If it doesn’t hold its own over the next couple of weeks this discussion may be moot.


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Big Daddy.

Mitch to the left!JSW writes:

While you and Devin did not really get excited for the character of Big Daddy. May I point out two reasons why the character rules. First off; he nor his crew ever eat anyone. Their motives, unlike those who follow them, are to get revenge on those who smite them. To get even. He and his crew do that in spades. Much like Bub, he has a nobility about him, that you would not expect from a zombie. Secondly; he gets scared. He also shoots a zombie on fire, and has a pain experience about doing it. Big Daddy easily out does Bub. So he screams. In the next film he will remember how to speak.

So good joint review, have a nice day, and read Toe-Tags when you get the chance. There’s something about the zombies that maks them good or bad. I hope Romero gets another flick to explain this further in the next DEAD film.

Nick’s Reply: Not a big fan of Toe Tags or The Walking Dead comics, but such is life. As for Big Daddy, I just think they could have made him more interesting. When we meet him, he’s already the de facto zombie leader and given his advanced state of decomposition I wanted a little clarification on what made him special other than the blue collar and ethic reasons which are Romero staples. The screams did irk me but I also wasn’t sold on his quick ascent. I do like that thet didn’t feed though. Hey, it’s a small gripe on a film I loved.


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Mitch to the right.Giles writes:

I’ve been a loyal fan of Chud since discovering it in high school. I visit it
every day to check up on all the crazy shit going on in movie-land, to read the
fan-boys bitch about Devin, and laugh my ass off with your amazing articles like
the Leak. I love it. Especially The Steady Leak. But if its taking too much
out of you, I say screw it. is now an established name on the net with
a shmorgasboard of writing talent. Devin, Russ, George, Dave, Andrew, and
whoever else I’m forgetting can surely maintain the site in your absence if you
choose not to continue with The Steady Leak. Let them handle things so you can
spend more time with your friends and family, or you develop Steve Alten’s
"Domain" and "Resurrection" into a kickass movie after you’re done with Meg
(fuck Jaws). Whatever happens, I’ll still visit Chud everday because it kicks
the asses of a thousand sweaty ogres.

Nick’s Reply: Thanks for the support. I’m still not sure what to do about the Leak. In general, I’ve been apalled by the lack of feedback on my stuff, other people’s stuff, and site content in general. There’s plenty of posts on the MB and I get plenty of email but most of it is aimless and self serving. You know what, though? We’re not unique and that. What percentage of newspapers, magazines, and broadcasts get in touch with their audience? I expect the web to be different but you have either piss people off or stroke them off to get a reaction these days. As for other Steve Alten books…. just you wait.


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Sperm Correction.

Mitch to the left!Greg writes:

Sperm are the little squigllies, accounting for less than 3% of the actual
volume of ejaculation. Then there’s the mucousy alkaline stuff that’s the rest.
The whole mess is called semen. I’m sure you knew that, but it’s surprisng how
very few people my age do.

Nick’s Reply: It’s all a nusiance to me. Especially when strangers are shooting it in my direction while I’m trying to type.


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Did Someone Ask for Watchmen Dream Casting?

Mitch to the right.Mark writes:

As you and I are both quite aware, the movie
adaptation of Watchmen is being postponed. I am a huge fan of this book and
would love to see it brought to life. With that said I ( like many people) have
had a cast list in my head for quite a long time. Here is my cast list and I
would love to hear what you have to say about it:
Nite Owl 2- Paul Giamatti or Tim Robbins

Nite Owl 1- Clint Eastwood
or Paul Newman

Silke Spectre 1- Lauren Bacall or Sigourney Weaver

Silk Spectre 2- Jennifer Connelly or Laura Linney

Manhatten- Kenneth Branagh or Vin Diesel( Think restrained Iron Giant/ Pitch
Black Vin Diesel instead of ridiclous XXX Vin, it is just a different idea
nothing serious)

Ozymandias- Val Kilmer or Viggo Mortenson

Comedian- Robert Deniro or William Forsythe

Rorschack- Brad Douriff or
Robert Deniro(think Taxi Driver)

Morlock- Malcom MacDowell or Christopher

Dr. Malcom Long- Don Cheadle or Sam Jackson

Nova Express Staff
Member- Simon Pegg

As for directors. I like the idea of Paul
Greengrass doing this but if he is not able to do it anymore I think Joe
Carnahan would be a excellent choice. Narc was a great detective story, with
great visuals, story and characters. This is what Watchmen essentially is. I
think that if Carnahan did this film this would do for his career what The
Godfather did for Coppola’s. I also think that a interesting idea would be to
have both the Comedian and Rorschach be played by the same actor. I think it
would be interesting to have Deniro play both of these characters. But if that
idea is improbable than I think my idea of Forsythe and Douriff would work. Both
of these actors are very good who have been typecast in the same role for too
long. Why these roles are just about the same I think that they would give them
the spotlight they deserve and help them move forward in there careers( much
like what Sideways did for Thomas Haden Church and Virgina Madsen). Anyway I
would love to hear what you have to say about this. Thanks.

Nick’s Reply: I have a decent idea of who the producers have in mind for the roles and it’s safe to say that they have a really brave and brilliant approach. Until the film is truly ‘postponed’ I’m going to keep mum and keep my fingers crossed that the studio they have in mind realizes the golden opportunity before them.


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Spider Got Shot.

Mitch to the left!Justin writes:

Nick your Go get your fucking
shine box
response to a few of those leak letters had me in stitches! Goodfellas
is one of my favorite movies and that scene is especially note
I enjoy reading the Leak Letters as well as the Steady Leak. Keep up the
great (and very funny) material

Nick’s Reply: Thanks! I’ve used it before to no response. Glad it was liked this time. Next I will dip into my arsenal of quotes from The Legend of Billie Jean.


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Mitch to the right.Susan writes:

Am I the only one who is pissed off in the morning when there’s no new Ron up?

Nick’s Reply: Yes. Yes you are. Other than me, of course.


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Mitch to the left!Mary writes:

I want to start my first letter from a question: "Is it possible to be happy without LOVE?"

I think that you will agree with me if the answer will be "NO WAY". Love is the most beautiful and exciting thing that may happen between man and woman! It inspires us only for doing positive things towards each other.

One very famous writer said: "The beauty will rescue the world" i agree with his words but still i would add :

" LOVE and Beauty will rescure the world".
I hope you agree with me that Love is a big notion.
There’s love to God, to Mother, to a child to the country where you were born, and there’s love that joins a man and woman for all their life. That is the LOVE i’m looking for! And i’m seeking for the man who is also eager to have this life long adventure full of surprises and new experience we can share together! Will you join me for this trip?
I do realise that it should be very difficult to say "Yes" from the first letter having no idea about me.

That’s why i just offer to get to know each other better though correspondence that will help us to reveal many things about each other whether we mach perfectly or not.

Mr. Grunt and Point’s Reply: If you were an F-16 and I were a MIG, we would mach perfectly.

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