January’s always been a slow time for horror, but there are always some highlights. Splatters of blood in the snow, as it were.  But if you’re smart this weekend you’ll forget that The Rite exists and curl up inside away from that blizzard with a couple of dvds and a certain videogame…

I AM SO MAD, LET ME TELL YOU- The Woman offends people at Sundance. Some are saying this is a hoax but you can’t fake that kind of righteous indignation. Glorious. Sells the film better than any trailer. Plus, you just have to love that Ketchum is getting so many film adaptations. I can’t wait for someone to tackle Old Flames.

NON-NEWS- Robert Tapert is saying that they’re looking at a script for that Evil Dead remake. Yes, we know that Raimi wants it (and wanted Park Chan-wook to direct it, who turned him down, presumably to play with his iPhone) but we don’t need to wait for it. It’ll happen without us ever wanting it anyway.

THE DULL TOWERThe Dark Tower cast is starting to roll in and it’s looking… interesting? Is that the word? Jennifer Carpenter? Christian Bale? Together with direction by Ron Howard? Hrm. Anyway, we’ll see if the movie has a rocky start, an amazing middle and an awful ending. And then inexplicably become a tv show. Is it sad that I simply can’t get myself excited to see Howard’s vanilla take on this?

JUST BUY IT- Santa Sangre. This week, there is no other. Alejandro Jodorowsky’s cult classic has never been published in the USA before so this is the time to experience it if you haven’t! It’s never easy to sum up a Jodorowsky film but this might be his most straightforward, revolving around a circus performer who travels back home to be the limbs for his armless mother and hook up with his deaf-mute girl. Lots of surrealism and murder lead the way.

From all reports (don’t have a copy myself, yet) Severin Films has done a tremendous job with the transfer and extras, even more stuff than they got overseas in the 2004 Anchor Bay Region 2 release. Really, it’s just amazing to finally have it in print at this point. Pick it up and pick up that Jodorowsky dvd set!

LYNCHED FOOTAGE - David Lynch has found footage from Blue Velvet that was previously thought to be lost! These aren’t just deleted scenes either, there are whole sections of the film that were excised. (DVD Talk has an excellent summation of what we missed.) Best of all, this new footage may find its way onto the film’s upcoming Blu-ray release, which itself is cause for celebration.

GAMING DEAD- Back in 2008 when EA had a Community Day for the original Dead Space (back when they had the budget to do those things) we were treated to a double feature of The Evil Dead 2 and Sunshine. It’s really the perfect way to sum up the feeling of the game, and the sequel creates an even more cinematic feel. Horror done well is one thing but mixed up with the terrifying void of space, well, that’s just something special.

So here it is, Dead Space 2, the first big hit of the year. I wish I could have gotten up a review for you guys this week but I only got the game Monday and was watching the kid all week, so didn’t feel like I gave the multiplayer a fair shake. But man, what a game. Anyone who had issues with the first won’t be swayed by this one but if you’re like me, a huge fan of the original, you’ll love how much more refined everything is. It’s prettier, it’s easier to get around, and, most importantly, it’s consistently scary. The original sort of gave up on the scares about halfway through to focus on the action but here you keep getting curveballs flung at your noggin and are constantly terrified that something’s going to happen to you, somewhere and sometime soon. It will not be nice, either. It’s going to be hard to top this with another horror game this year. I’ll have a full review up Monday but just buy the damn thing.

NYC HORROR- I will be in attendance at the Museum of the Moving Image tonight for their screening of Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, a Czech film that sounds deliciously nutty (aren’t they all?) Here’s their description: ‘When a 13-year-old girl crosses the threshold into womanhood, her life unfolds as a baroque saga of vampires, witchcraft, and mysticism. This mesmerizing celluloid poem has been described as “Jodorowsky/ Bergman coproduction of a Grimm’s fairy tale.”’

Also, Tetsuo: The Bullet Man is opening at the IFC Center (IFC, you never sent me a screener!) and there will also be some great midnight films for horror fans playing both Friday and Saturday night- The Birds and The Shining. If you can’t choose, just watch one tonight and one on Saturday for a perfectly bleak weekend!

That’s all for now. See you next Friday.