STUDIO: Musicrama, Inc.
MSRP: $19.98
RUNNING TIME: 119 Minutes
Deleted scenes

The Pitch

"It’s Six Feet Under by way of Monster with a pit stop at Dawn of the Dead’s F/X shop."

The Humans

A bunch of people I’ve never heard of covered in blood.

Dolores was certain that at long last she’d found Mr. Ripe and not just Mr. Ripe-Now…

The Nutshell

Dolores Finley is a mysterious young woman who arrives in Port Oram, with only a few suitcases and an equally mysterious trunk. She answers an ad for an assistant at a mortuary, which is run by the Beeches, a kooky old married couple. It’s not long before we discover that Dolores is carrying around her mummified parents in the trunk, whom she pulls out for a little necro-lovin’ every now and then. But Dolores soon trades up for a younger, fresher (meaning more recently dead) boy toy. The Beeches also have two other employees, Jake and Corey, who are moonlighting with the clients by selling them for body parts. When people start investigating Dolores’ background and Jake and Corey’s side business, the bodies start piling up in gory fashion.

It was a good thing for Marilyn Manson he had that nursing degree to fall back on when that whole shock rock thing wore off…

The Package

This is another DVD from indie label Heretic Films. They seem to specialize in designer horror because this is another unusual little piece. Picture quality is nowhere near what they had for London Voodoo (review here), in fact it’s pretty much shit. It looks like some of the worst parts of Blair Witch. Audio is even worse, with an overbearing score that tries to be reminiscent of Night of the Living Dead yet pretty much fails. The thing is, I know what making a small, fiscally-challenged independent film is all about, so I don’t usually begrudge a flick when the picture and sound don’t measure up, if it has character. The disc does have over 20 minutes of deleted scenes, a few bloopers and three low-rent trailers.

"Give me some sugar, ba-aaaauuugghhhhh!!!!!"

The Lowdown

Although I can guarantee almost none of us – if not very few of us – have heard of this flick, this is an award-winning film: Feature Film Winner – Telluride IndieFest and Key West IndieFest, 2003; Best Horror Feature – New York International Independent Film & Video Festival, 2002; The GORE-GORE Award – Festival of the Macabre; Best Make Up Design – The B-Movie Theatre Film Fest. That may be, but as for me, I’ve probably never been more torn in a review. On the one hand, the film is shit, pure and simple. It looks like shit, it sounds like shit. It has a bunch of no-name actors who are laughably bad in places. The pacing for the first half is not great to say the least and the score is more of a menace than menacing. But damnit, it has character, and that goes a long way in my book.

Romero discovered his true calling with his first porn, Money Shot of the Dead

For one thing, IBYT has old-school gore. I’m talking Romero-type gore. Best of the ‘80s kind of gore. Blood splatter, oozing wounds, ripping flesh. And no friggin’ CGI to be found anywhere. The story itself is reminiscent of those great low budget slash flicks of the late ‘70s and early ‘80’s where men were men and women were hamburger…just like the men. The first half of the movie takes too long to get going, but when it does, whip out the barbecue ribs and see if you can keep ‘em down. There’s a scene involving and extreme kiss that even had me going "damn!" I also have to shamefully admit to missing an obvious dual role by actor Jerry Murdock until noticing it the credits. As the straight-laced sheriff, he was ho hum, but as his nutbag flesh-peddling, coke-sniffing brother, he was a hoot. The ending of IBYT was telegraphed like old morse code, but I actually like how the whole thing wrapped up. There’s even (what?!) franchise potential there. True, I’ll Bury You Tomorrow is shit, but it’s some of the better shit I’ve seen in a long time.

6.3 out of 10