You know how your parents would give you a little slack to see how you used it, finally yanking you back doubly hard when you screwed the pooch (not literally, in my case it was just fellatio)? You know, you’d show an interest in something and they’d se if you followed through with it or got burned by it or whatever. Finally, you’d overdo it and you’d be brought down to Earth. I showed some initiative in the decorum of my room back with the folks. Next thing you know, the walls are covered in drawings and fake blood and there’s a drawing of a talking cock. Quotes from Yor: The Hunter from the Future written on the wall, shit like that. Then, I come back from a New York
trip and the fucker’s been painted. Every wall. Blue with white
splotches. So much for being eccentric.

Hollywood needs to have someone yank it back to reality, at least one little niche of Hollywood’s marketing world.

The world responsible for taking the once cool idea of individual character posters for a movie and alotting it to films that really have no need for such trivialities. Like Sky High. Like Be Cool. Like The Bridge of San Louis Rey for the love of Toni Basil! It makes sense when a film like Dick Tracy does it, one of my favorite examples of the character poster phenomenon. Even The Matrix Reloaded had a nice poster campaign that did as much for the film as all of its meandering soliloquys did. Kung Fu Hustle had like 11,000 character posters. Kung Fu Hustle! This is a film that about .004% of the American moviegoing audience knew Jack about inundating them with a plethora of posters as if the film was really some sort of ensemble brand name. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Come on…

So, the trend is dead. Kaput. Only existing franchises like Harry Potter deserve to keep doing it. It’s almost like studios think that by giving each of their animated characters in a film like Robots a poster all their own it makes the character memorable and some sort of existing commodity. You gotta earn that shit.

So, thanks for ruining yet another cool niche thing in the world of film marketing.

Speaking of posters, here’s a new If CHUD Ran the Movies:

Bastardization by Nick Nunziata. All apologies to the makers of Set it Off.