A Nice Hard Slap – Dane Cook Might Have an Ego.

In the past I was a fan of Dane Cook, right up until after Retaliation came out. I was so sure he was the real deal that I actually had a phone meeting with his management and another major film producer about potential projects, the results of which obviously never came to fruition and for a good reason. Mostly because they didn’t need us. They already had a shit parade planned and it didn’t involve people like us with ideas and a sense of good material.

By then even, it was obvious that in the realm of great power and great responsibility, Dane Cook was much more interested in the power. He’s a rich man with a lot of fans, a comedian both girls and dermatologists like.

Tourgasm was the last straw with me. An affront. I haven’t seen his film work aside from Mr. Brooks (good) and Dan in Real Life (not good) but I’ve heard what a pile of shitbags his “comedies” have been.

As one of his MySpace friends (I’m elite), I’ve been able to watch this shameless self-promoter go hog wild pimping himself and milking his fan base like an insomniac Amish, and it never gets old to hear him endlessly blather about how much shit he has to offer anyone with a wallet and online access.

Fucked.

This email came in yesterday, and it’s filled with more gold. It’s a shame he became what he’s become, because there was a good chance that he could have helped pave the way to better and more original comedians out there like Doug Stanhope, Todd Barry, and yes… Louis C.K.

Dig it.

To my fans,



After the massive Rough Around the Edges tour, I allowed myself to take a lot
of time off and have gotten plenty of rest. I spent important moments with my
brother and sisters. I caught up on playing video games and walking my dog
Beast and enjoyed just hanging out at my local comedy clubs and feeling like I
made good on so many promises to myself. I felt normal again. I even ate normal
again which was heavenly. I refueled my engines and am preparing new plans of
attack in various forms of media.




I have TONS of secrets in the works (as always) and several projects I am
jazzed to be a part of and I know you will be entertained by…here are just a
few.




*ADVANCE TICKETS for my May 23-25 engagement at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace
Las Vegas go onsale Monday, March 24th, at 10:00AM PST as a pre-sale for my
fans only. Click
here to get tickets and type the password:
SUFI




*I will be traveling to Iraq this spring to perform for our brave men and women
in the military. Dates TBD.




*I will be headlining an event for a great cause at the Laugh Factory on April
8th called the ‘Lollipop Laugh-Off’ to benefit the
‘Lollipop Theater Network’ which brings movies
to hospitalized children. Call (310)432-4842 for more info.




*I will be appearing as part of the
‘American Idol: Idol Gives Back’ show on April
9th from Hollywood.




*Watch my SU-FI montage in the Video section of
DANECOOK.com



*’My Best Friends Girl’ (formerly known as ‘Bachelor 2′) which I filmed in
Boston over the summer with Kate Hudson and Alec Baldwin is scheduled for
release on September 19th.




*My new website is kicking butt and new visitors are emailing me every damn
day.




Finally, Rough Around the Edges went GOLD this week and is in the history books
with Retaliation and Harmful. Thanks to you it went GOLD faster than any of my
prior comedy albums! If you don’t have a copy yet then click
here to get yours.



See you in Vegas!




SU-FI




Dane


Wow. 25 instances of the words I, my, mine, myself, or me in an article of 356 words. Stan Winston would be proud.

- Nick Nunziata Nick Nunziatas with Nick Nunziata under Nick Nunziata while Nick Nunziataing.