Of course, not to be confused with the run-of-the-mill drunk driving, the phenomena of drunk internetting can nonetheless be nearly as dangerous as plowing into a busload of nuns while blitzed out of your mind on Jack and Coke.

This is proof of law or public awareness not quite catching up with technology.  You still see MADD all the time around promoting against drunk driving, which is a noble cause to be sure.  But what public group is out there to protect us against drunk web surfing? To wit: you ever been in your joint at 3:00 am, just having gotten in from from a night of barhopping with your homies, shitfaced to just 10 degrees north of oblivion?  You happened to have left the the computer on and gone websurfing with a BAC somewhere around the national deficit? 

This is the unspoken hazard
that doesn’t get addressed in after-school specials or public service announcements.  I’m here to try to spread awareness and prevent good people from committing some sort of interstate commerce crime by spreading their thoughts worldwide via blog, URL posting or e-mail when their brains share the pH of a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

Take me for instance.  Yes, of course I ‘m guilty as are many Chewers.  You get home, it’s late, the computer’s on and you feel the need to share your thoughts  with humanity at large about your night’s events after having killed seven to ten Long Islands.  We’ve all been there, although the drinks will vary of course. 

Regardless, one must take care not to expose too much of one’s self to the masses at large for risk of being labeled a wino or some such nonsense.  The point of all this is to spread awareness, to warn you all to take care when posting when inebriated.  If my trials and tribulations can be put to use to save the virtue and/ or reputation of even one poor schlub, then I will have served my purpose this night. 

God bless us all and thank you.

P.S…I’m on my sixth Apple Martini.