My new job means that the family Savage will have to invest in a new car. Now to me this sounds like a rather tenuous reason to write a blog and do some fantasy geek shopping. So I ask you gentle reader to journey with me to the Nerd car showroom where we can choose from the finest assortment of vehicles Television and Film has to offer.
1. The Batmobile.
Forget all the rest this is the best Batmobile by far. Sleek, sexy and it doesn’t look like a tank or a penis, which other subsequent Batmobiles have fallen foul of. This car demands respect and if you need to fight crime on the streets of Gotham the Batmobile is the car for you.
Pros: It looks badass and sounds like god himself is clearing his throat.
Cons: It would be a bitch to park, as a new(ish) driver this concerns me*. Also it has no roof which is a big downside given the UK’s weather.
2. The Delorean from Back to the Future.
Not only is it a car but it’s a time machine, never again will you be late for any event or meeting. This model comes complete with Mr Fusion so no need to worry about the cost of plutonium burning a hole in your pocket. A hover conversion also comes as standard so no getting stuck in rush hour traffic for you.
Pros: Not only can you replay every event you ever stuffed up in your life you can feel like you are helping the environment as the flux capacitor runs on garbage**
Cons: Chances are you could rip a whole in space and time if you fool around with it to much. And lets face it if you own a time machine you will be doing nothing more than fooling around with it.
3. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:
Once a successful race car this classic has been restored and improved by the man god Dick Van Dyke himself. Is it a car? is it a plane? is it a boat? No, it’s all three, you will never need to own another form of transport again.
Pros: Dick Van Dyke owned this car, enough said.
Cons: At some point in the future you may have to battle Goldfinger and rescue a bunch of annoying kids.
4. The General Lee.
This 1969 Dodge Charger is, as far as I can tell indestructible, it has survived numerous crashes and jumps that would total any normal car. Not only that but if you find yourself in trouble with the local law enforcement this car is guaranteed to out run any police vehicle known to man. If you live in the Deep South this car is perfect for you and your cousin Luke.
Pros: The 1969 Dodge Charger is actually a pretty good car. Richard Hammond of Top Gear fame owns one.
Cons: Owning this car makes you a racist Redneck who drinks to much moonshine. Plus you would not be able to sleep with Daisy Duke as she is your cousin.***
This 1983 Pontiac Trans Am Firebird comes complete with on-board computer, bullet proof body and Turbo boost as standard. This computer is far more than a simple Sat-Nav, it can drive the car for you and is a witty companion to keep you company on long drives. Additional features include re-inflating tires and for a small monthly fee a big ass truck will follow you around where a hot female mechanic will provide any tune up/modification you require.
Pros: You would be owning Kitt.
Cons: There are no con’s you would be owning Kitt.
Well I think thats decision made. The only car any self respecting geek should own is Kitt. Should you disagree with me then make your own damn list and see if I ever give you a lift anywhere.
*True story I recently hit a parked car while trying to park my car before an interview. Strangely I didn’t get the job.
** Or rubbish if you are British like me
*** Actually if you are a Redneck that probably doesn’t matter.