First off: a big thank you to my friend Emily for inspiring this week’s blog!
Horrorfind Weekend 12 was this past weekend. For those not familiar, it is an annual horror convention, usually held in Hunt Valley, Maryland. This year it was moved to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania – the second time it has moved from its usual venue in the six years I have attended. One thing I’ve learned from this is that the convention doesn’t seem to be quite as good when it moves from its comfort zone. The past two times have been proof of that. I wish it was something the convention-runners themselves would pick up on, as I rather enjoy it when it’s at the Hunt Valley Inn. It seems to fit better there.
With that said, here are nine other lessons to be gained from Horrorfind Weekend 12, in no particular order:
1. Elevators are the new bathrooms. You learn a lot of important information – It’s all about bacon. Hubbs sucks, but Tristun sux. Sudden hair loss is a frightening reality.
2. The housekeeping staff can be seen in an entirely different light after you’ve watched the film Machete.
3. Kristy Swanson will not stake you if you accidentally make an ass out of yourself while trying to get her autograph, thank Cthulhu (and she had plenty on hand).
4. Ted Raimi has a very thorough and efficient screening process for anyone interested in having his babies.
5. When a hot female approaches most men in a goth-like school girl outfit and says she needs to be spanked, the universal response is generally something to the tone of “Hell yeah!” But not if you’re Gary Busey. In the Busey household, the accepted response is to show the now frightened-for-her-life woman a photo still of you slamming Ice-T’s head into the concrete and suggesting that you could do that to her instead.
6. When Gary Busey tells you to get the fuck out of the elevator, you listen (Busey earns two spots on this list… or he’ll hurt me).
7. The dealer’s tables in the hall (as opposed to the ones in the actual dealer’s room) are the equivalent of walking up to the house of someone who makes a living going door-to-door to sell you siding, God, Amway, or insurance.
8. Reggie Bannister knows that you know exactly what’s going on.
9. It’s now customary (and a polite courtesy) to let the housekeeping staff know why you had the “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door for the entire day, preventing them from being able to tidy up your room. The proper procedure for doing this is to fill out the appropriate form and then slide it under your door out into the hall for the housekeeping staff to collect upon their return: