NEW SECTION BONANZA BONUS FUN TIME!

Things I Like from Movies I Don’t

Today’s Film: Accepted (2006)

I don’t recall what it was that urged me to see Accepted in theaters. Boredom? Peer pressure? A longstanding crush on Strangers with Candy‘s Tammi Littlenut? Whatever the reason, I was there opening night with a small throng of fellow man-children, ready for some mild laughs. And mild they were. The film was inoffensive, breezy, and just sort of existed. Bear in mind, this was not a beige portal to a hell of blandness as mentioned in prior bloggings, but it wasn’t much better. For a glorified remake of 1990s child “comedy” Camp Nowhere* it wasn’t half bad.

That said, something must have got lost in translation on the way to DVD or maybe I didn’t originally see the movie in the best of conditions (read: wasted as per usual), but I’ve sort of grown to actively hate this movie. And while I won’t get into what makes the plot bullshit or how Justin Long’s Bartleby is a terrible lead character (possibly saving that for a future installment on awful protagonists), I’m adamant that there are only three good things in this movie.

I <3 Diora
There’s two of them right there.


Aside from Ms. Baird’s considerable charms, there is only one moment/joke I found truly funny in the entire film. At one point, the wacky students at the South Harmon Institute of Technology (about 3/4 of the movie’s jokes comes from that acronym) throw a wild ‘n’ crazy party. Jonah Hill, the movie’s MVP for the most part, arrives from a theme party at the actual school nearby, decked out in an awesome zoot suit. In a bit no doubt entirely ad-libbed by Hill, he yells over the loud music, awkwardly hits on a girl with the following:

“You look like Carly Simon! If I could bang one woman in the world it would be Carly Simon! And you look like her! Are you having fun? I’m having so much fun.”

Honestly, if I were being fair to the movie, there’s probably one or two more lines that are funny, but this is the only one that has resonated. It doesn’t work the same for all, this is true, so maybe other’s remember another line more fondly. Comedy’s funny that way (see what I did there?).

Either way, the fact remains that Accepted is a pretty bland exercise in teen/college humor. No doubt many reviewers used an “It’s acceptable” type pun upon it’s release. Lame, sure, but if the movie’s not trying that hard, why should the critics?

I’m just gonna chalk this one up to my predilection for highbrow fare. I need something with a little effort put into it. A film that challenges me intellectually. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch Freddy Got Fingered.


*Wherefore art thou, Andrew Keegan?