I am trying to get into the mindset of the person who is shocked by Michael Stipe ‘coming out of the closet’ to US Magazine (right here). This is like Denzel Washington coming out as black. How the fuck was this even a secret? I have been listening to REM for the last twenty plus years and I cannot remember a moment in all that time where I thought Michael Stipe might be getting more pussy than I was.

“Now I recognize that to have public figures be very open about their sexuality helps some kid somewhere out there,” he tells the magazine. It’s amazing that Stipe is following in the footsteps of fucking Doogie Houser, but there you go.

The interview doesn’t have Stipe yet coming out of the closet about how badly his band has sucked since the early 90s, though.