Let me express a very dorky opinion — I liked all three Pirates of the Caribbean films. Yes, even At World’s End because Geoffrey Rush was back, and that helped me forget the plot holes and the pirate battle that never was. I’m actually looking forward to On Stranger Tides.
But even my enthusiasm is a thin one. I live with two pirate cosplayers who have been dissecting Pirates 4 before there was even a trailer. I know how many heated discussions of tricorns and dreadlocks I will be privy to, and I weep.
Which is why I cringe at Drew McWeeny’s scoop that Disney is whispering to cast and crew to arrange their schedules for Pirates 5 and 6.
The plan is to shoot them back to back as one giant film, as they did for Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End. Then they’ll release them as two. Bam. Two summer slates taken care of.
The time frame is only in “the very near future”, and with Depp booked for Dark Shadows and The Lone Ranger for 2011, they are probably looking at 2012 or 2013.
So, not only will I never escape Jack Sparrow in my private life, Depp seems destined to be caked in eyeliner and bronzer for the majority of this decade. I have nothing but admiration for the iconic character he invented so easily, but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s ever going to play anything else. The fact that he dropped out of Triple Frontier to go Gothy with Tim Burton again suggests his priorities lean towards camp over compelling. He’s an incredible actor, but it’s going to be increasingly hard to buy him in any dramatic role when he’s a one man Hot Topic franchise.