I don’t pretend to understand women, or relationships for that matter, but as a geek who is married to a wonderful woman of the non nerd variety I have learned a thing or two along the way. So this weeks blog is a quick list of things to keep an eye out for if you enter into a relationship with a normal person.
1. They don’t love movies like you do: By all means express and interest in seeing the latest geek flick but don’t bore the poor woman for any longer than 10 minutes as to why it’s such a big deal. If they love you they get it and will be happy to see it with you. Likewise you may have to sit through some films you would rather gouge you’re own eyes out than see. Tough, it’s called give and take, its part of being a grown up.
2. Watch the Gaming: I’m very guilty of this one. when you are single you think nothing of spending hours on the Xbox (or console of choice) playing that new game because it’s so damn addictive. But once you enter coupledom remember that she will not understand this and will think you are not spending enough time with her. A handy hint here is to find a game you both enjoy, for example my wife loves the Lego games and so I can scratch the gaming itch and still spend time with her. Never under any circumstances try and play a game on her birthday or your anniversary – trust me on this one it will end badly.
3. Try to act normal around her family: There is a fine line between using movies as a conversation starter and always talking about them, don’t let it be your only topic of conversation. If they are sports fans it’s not hard to go online and look up how said family members teams are doing that week and with that ammo in your pocket you can pass for normal. For female members of the family just try and be helpful, at meal times ask if there is anything you can do to help, or if they are having trouble with their computers, phones etc offer to take a look at if for them. You don’t have to be a suckup you just have to be nice.
4. Sacrifice: We all have a ton of posters and assorted geek stuff but you new partner in life will not want all this stuff around the house, you are going to have to sacrifice some of it to alter of the car boot sale* Pick the stuff you really care about and let everything else go. I am lucky my wife has bought me some cool stuff since we met. But with the exception of my Spider-Man painting and my DVD/Blue Ray collection everything else is in my study. Let her have the rest of the house and I promise you she will let you do whatever you want to your study..
5. Pretend to enjoy her hobbies: my wife loves gardening, personally I can’t stand it but she loves it as much as I love my Xbox. So the trick here is to take an interest in what she enjoys. Go to the garden centers with her, spend time helping her in the garden helping plant stuff you can’t name, if (like me) you have a great woman then she will reward you with time to do your own thing, or if you are very lucky time doing things basement dwelling nerds only dream about.
6. Clothing: I know you feel comfortable in a T-Shirt and jeans, we all do, but when you are in a relationship you have to aim a bit higher. Let her buy you shirts, let her suggest stuff to wear, if she is dating you she fancies you and wants you to look good. This has the added bonus of making you look good for other women and that my friends is a good confidence builder.
I could go on but you get the general idea. It’s not about giving up who you are, far from it, what you need to do is understand the other person in your life is not a geek and different things drive them. Find out what those things are and you are on to a winner. And if you can’t stand anything she likes, fake it, remember it will get you laid.
I’m on vaction next week in the South of France so I will have to break my vow cranking one blog a week out. Anyway I hop you enjoyed this one and I’ll be back here in two weeks time.
* see my previous blog on the subject.
Behind every great book adaptation is a forgettable first try. — By Ryan Covey