Iconic Foods from Across America

Do you hate to travel? Do you like great food? You too can feel like Abe Froman in the comfort of your own home. By ordering Foods Across America, you can have authentic food icons shipped to you from across the country. Eat a real Philly Cheesesteak, while you watch the gang at Paddy’s Pub. Chug a couple of Chicago style franks while worshipping Ditka. The possibilities are endless, but don’t let your ballooning waistline stop you. EAT. PURGE. LOATHE.


This is my porn now.

Soda Finder

Brian Florence is my online dealer and he doesn’t even know it. I live for soda and I know how much that pisses off Phil Nobile. I can’t help it, people. It’s my vice and it’s grown into an all consuming hunt to find the drinks of my youth. Whether it be DNL, Crystal Clear Pepsi, Nehi or Hires….Brian Florence has it at Soda Finder. If you friend his site on Facebook, you get a discount. The only kicker is that constant colder temperatures and a shrinking mailing window threaten to kick the ass out of your Christmas soda plans.

 

Stay Puft Caffeinated Gourmet Marshmallows

I know what you’re thinking, “Do I really want to eat this if it’s been all over Walter Peck?” The answer is YES. Yes, you do. Who cares if they pulled this stuff directly from Dickless’ beard? It’s gourmet and it’s caffeinated. Not to mention it comes in a nifty marshmallow-y collectible container. – Brian Owen

STOLI VODKA

This is the first of two booze powerhouses that helped to make my way through Broken Captchas, collapsing content management systems, Talkbackers, delivering checks to the Post Office and trying to find a way to make a dollar in the Internet Based Pop Culture Shit Sling. For those of you not in the business, we call that the IBPCSS. If you want to pronounce it phonetically, it’s I Be Piss. Things like that entertain me while I drink.

While the non-cherry Stoli is easier to find, I’ve found it to be slightly more expensive. Still, it’s a Vodka with a beer budget in mind. I’d recommend pricing it out online first before hitting your neighborhood liquor store.

View the Stoli Vodka Casting Call finalists’ video auditions here:

http://www.stoli.com/us-ca/#/castingcall

Follow Stoli on Twitter for the latest info:

http://www.twitter.com/stoli

Stoli on Facebook:

http://www.Facebook.com/Stoli

GLENFIDDICH

The second of my preferred booze. I love the bold flavor of the 12 year old Glenfiddich as opposed to its 50 year old counterpart. Why’s that? Well, one can be had for under thirty dollars and the other comes in a fatter bottle that makes it hard to grip during those drunken sessions. Hopefully, you’ve checked out my Dirty Balls recipe on the prior page. For those that need another liquor pick-me-up, I’ve got one more drunk culinary masterpiece.

Ingredients

  • 3/4 cup whiskey (use the Glenfiddich)
  • 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (4 lemons)
  • 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (4 limes)
  • 2/3 cup sugar syrup (see directions)
  • Ice cubes
  • Maraschino cherries

Directions

Combine the whiskey, lemon juice, lime juice, and syrup. Fill a
cocktail shaker halfway with ice and pour in the drink mix 2/3 full.
Shake for 15 seconds and pour into glasses. Add a maraschino cherry and
serve ice cold.

Note: To make the sugar syrup, bring 1 cup of water and 1 cup of
sugar to a boil, and simmer until the sugar is completely dissolved.
Chill before using.

That recipe comes courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa. That lady loves her husband, just as much as she likes making drink recipes to get me hammered. I love that Contessa.