MSRP: $24.98
RUNNING TIME: 406 Minutes
ORIGINAL RELEASE DATE: September 28, 2010

  • Stig POV
  • Spitfire Magic
  • Ken Block Slo-mo
  • Extended Brian Johnson Interview
  • Extended Jenson Button Interview
  • Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4-SV
  • 200 mph Run in Abu Dhabi
  • Train Race Sequence with JC

You’re coming here for a true review of Top Gear Season 13. You’ll get it, in a way. I’ll not be biased. It’s a great show. I mean… transcendent great. But it’s not always transcendent, necessarily. I don’t want to simply gush for five paragraphs about what you have probably already gathered if you know of it. After all, the show is pretty ubiquitous and so is its magnetic pull — on many countries and generations of people. So I’m giving it to you episode by episode. You know… the “Top Gear Formula.” Here you have, from each of seven episodes: a highlight, a quote, an epiphany, and the inevitable disaster. Should you buy this? Eff yes. Become a proud owner. And don’t forget to share this great show with someone in your life who may not know about it. Most likely, they will thank you. Everyone I’ve shared it with has.

Okay. No more sitting in the driveway. Let’s take this on the road.

Episode 1

Highlight: Jeremy, while shoveling coal
in a train during a race, tries to cook bacon on the end of a shovel
in the furnace and it gets sucked up the chimney.

Quote: “I am now straddling my
boyhood hero!” – Richard Hammond

Epiphany: The Stig is unmasked. Does
that count as an epiphany? Sure it does.

The Inevitable Disaster: Jeremy’s steam
train runs out of water during a race.

Jeremy, of course, won’t let anyone beat him.

Episode 2

Highlight: Richard and Jeremy glue fast
the knobs to James’s car stereo so he is stuck with blaring techno
throughout the entire challenge. Oh… it’s remote
controlled, which Richard and Jeremy gloriously take advantage of.

Quote: “Guuuuys! Big problem! I’ve
shoved my anarchy flag through my water Lilo (bed)!” – Jeremy Clarkson

Epiphany: The Arabian desert is the
perfect place to test the Lamborghini Murcielago.

The Inevitable Disaster: Jeremy crashes his
anarchy-wagon into the carport at night and wakes up his “parents.” 

Small man in a desert. Told ya.

Episode 3

Highlight: Jeremy, James, and Richard
play “car sauna,” sitting in the car on a hot day, windows all
the way up, heater on full blast, to see who the first person is to
get out. They do time and temperature checks. At one point they
announce that it is 61.9 degrees in the car, which if you’re American, this most likely means nothing to you except for “probably very hot.”

Quote: “God, that McLaren
sounds dirty! If my children made a noise like that, I’d make them
sit on the naughty step.” – Jeremy Clarkson

Epiphany: “The man’s useless! He
can’t drive in a straight line!” – James May, after riding passenger with
a famous race car driver through air plane hangars and over ramps and
drifting through desert sands.

The Inevitable Disaster: Cops tell our Top
Gear gentlemen that they must leave the area after driving their
spray painted, reasonably priced cars in circles around shouting at
government buildings through megaphones attached to the tops of their
cars. Oops.

James May is in this car. Do you feel sorry for him?

Episode 4

Highlight: Richard and James embark on a
quest to race a car and a letter, challenging Her Majesty’s postal

Quote: “Your sick, Richard Hammond,
if you brake from 125 miles an hour to naught in that Zonda, would
accelerate out of your mouth at 12.9 meters per second squared.” – James May

Epiphany: The Queen’s head is better
looking than a Porsche.

The Inevitable Disaster: Jeremy and Richard
have a Le Mans style drag race on the track (driver starts out on
foot and runs to the car), and Jeremy makes it a whole lap before
Richard can get his special seat belt on. Oh… and Richard is reliably overly melodramatic again.

Jeremy nearly escaping a… just watch the damn thing.

Episode 5

Highlight: Three old cars + rear wheel
drive + ice driving track = bumper cars.

Quote: “It is a pornographer’s car,
isn’t it?” – Richard Hammond

Epiphany: “Sitting in an M5 is
actually like sitting in a laptop.” Jeremy on the BMW M5

The Inevitable Disaster: James smashes his
Ford Capri 2.8 Injection through an upright piano. (Runner up: Jeremy destroys a greenhouse on wheels.)

Someone’s always gotta drive the bum car and the other two gotta give him shit for it. What else did you expect?

Episode 6

Highlight: We see our three favorite
gentlemen go shopping! At a car auction. Of course a couple of them
make poor mistakes. (I’ve got to say though, that this is one of the
weaker episodes full of a bunch of Top Gear moments and interactions,
but it’s hard to find that ultimate moment that we’re spoiled rotten
to expect. So they’ve got a couple of episodes
that don’t reach the bar they’ve set for themselves. Such is life.)

Quote: “I’ve got a big Mustang up my
trumpet.” – Jeremy Clarkson

Epiphany: “It isn’t a fire-breathing
monster that runs on brimstone and baby owls.” – Clarkson on the new

Inevitable Disaster: There isn’t one in
particular, but James does hold out the entire car auction until the
last car and realizes he must bid on it or have no car for the rally
challenge. (I told you… this episode just doesn’t sing like the

The rally race.

Episode 7

Highlight: James and Jeremy have an “ad
war” to see who can make the best VW Volkswagon commercial. Just
when you think they’re done with stupid ideas, it gets worse. (In a
good way.) Oh… and you’re gonna see Jeremy’s prized drum set appear for damn near the fifth time.

Quote: “I think I’d actually direct
quite a good porn film.” – James May

Epiphany: It’s alright to wear a black
bikini to a funeral.

The Inevitable Disaster: Richard gets stuck
up in a cherry picker. (At the hands of one of his co-hosts, of

Jeremy’s idea for the Volkswagon campaign. I don’t see anything wrong with it…

So guys, you get three discs, seven episodes, and another reliable season. Their antics in the last episode are nearly pushed too far… the needle in the trying-too-hard meter goes a hair over the safe zone. But it ends with that home-made icing they pipe on for us at times… an epic scenic driving scene–one you’d want to see as you fell asleep every night. They did it again.

9.8 out of 10

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