I think we all need at least one
really nice positive thing about the entertainment business every single
day of the year, including weekends. Sometimes it may be something
simple, like a video that showcases something fun and sometimes it may
be a movie poster that embraces the aesthetic we all want Hollywood to
aspire to. Sometimes it may be a long-winded diatribe. Sometimes it’ll
be from the staff and extended family of CHUD.com. Maybe even you
readers can get in on it. So, take this to the bank. Every day, you will
get a little bit of positivity from one column a day here. Take it with
you. Maybe it’ll help you through a bad day or give folks some fun
things to hunt down in their busy celluloid digesting day.

10.7.10
By
David Oliver:  Author Page

What I’m Thankful For

My Daughter

Two years ago this month, my wife told me we were going to have a baby.  After I
picked my jaw up off the floor, things that I had feared my whole life
all came back to me at once.  I hadn’t ever really wanted to be a
father.  And I never sought to define my life by that criterion.  But
then there it was.  I feared how things would change as anyone in that
situation does.  I was selfish and I feared that I wouldn’t get to do a lot of things I
enjoyed anymore, or at least not very often.  I was thinking the Friday
happy hours at my buddy’s place were done for good, and I needed those
after a week at the job.  I thought movies were over because I hate
people who bring babies into theatres and I wasn’t going to be one of
them.

I feared any meaningful trips anywhere were over for
quite a while.  I feared that once the tyke got here, she would look to
me for guidance.  Most of the time I’m lucky if I can guide myself
anywhere off the couch.  I feared the diaper changes, the early AM
feedings.  I feared the shirts with vomit.  I feared mixing the wrong
drink for my daughter and giving her a rum and coke while I kicked back
with some 80-proof breast milk.  I feared worrying about her safety
every second of every day. 

I feared she would be
born with some sort of defect.  I’d still love her of course, but no
parent ever wants anything to be wrong with their children, especially
right out of the gate.  I just didn’t want
her to have to start life at a disadvantage.  There are going to be
plenty of obstacles to overcome naturally without being dealt a pocket
2 and 3 off suit right after the ante.  All the other fears you can
name, I probably had them.  I just feared I wouldn’t be a good father. 
That I wouldn’t get it.

But then she got here and I did get
it.  I still get it.  And now I fear what my life would be without
her.  Then again, I also fear her getting hold of any piece of
electronics.  She’s ruined two phones, a satellite remote and probably
some other shit she’s hidden under the couch or something.  She’s
devious.  She watches me and I know she’s learning.  I know she’s
remembering.  I know she’s plotting.  I do the wrong thing and I just
get the feeling I’m going to wake up with her standing at the foot of
the bed with a knife and a blowtorch.  Where she would get the latter
I’m not sure.  But I’m pretty confident she has her ways.

She’s
almost 16 months old now.  In that time she’s been to Europe, Africa,
the Grand Canyon, Vegas, D.C., Indiana and Kentucky.  Side note: you
need effectively three competent adults to have fun with baby in
Vegas.  And even that just barely.  She had a passport at 6 months
old.  I look at it and I’m thinking, what the fuck?  I didn’t have a
passport till I was 30.  Didn’t even get on a plane until 21.  Didn’t
even see the ocean until 19.  And this little thing has stamps on her
papers from three continents already.  She can’t even spell USA and
she’s left it twice.

But I’m eternally thankful for her.  Even though I know she’s plotting against me.