The
Film:
The Sword and the Sorceror (1982) BUY IT

The Principals: Lee Horsely. Richard Moll. Richard Lynch. Kathleen Beller. Simon MacCorkindale. Reb Brown. Albert Pyun (who
directed).

The Premise: A gem from my childhood is a pile of dogshit in my present.



It’s a classical hero’s journey complete with buxom princesses, betrayals, heart-ripping warlocks, pneumatic swords, crucifixion, and the worst fight choreography since Koyaanisqatsi. When I was young I thought this was the bees knees and then I began to realize that the only cool parts of bees were their stingers, faces, wings, and vaginas. Lee Horsley tries desperately to mimic Harrison Ford but comes off more like Tony Anthony. Richard Lynch is not as ugly as he was in Bad Dreams and that’s all I can say about his performance. Reb Brown outclasses everyone. Let that sink in…

And Simon MacCorkindale may have an adorable name but he’s not enough to make this low budget Conan wannabe stand the test of time. I was wrong about a lot of things as a child. Jesus is not going to save me from Sasquatch. Mark St. John is not Ace Frehley. And The Sword and the Sorcerer is not the sweet butterfly of a film my youthful mind lied to me it was.

Is It Good:
 
Is war good?



Is It Worth A Look: Not even for Richard Moll completists.



Random Anecdotes: A stuntman died making this movie. He kissed his wife goodbye for the day, apologized he was involved in a ‘Sword and the Sorcerer’ movie, took his cup of coffee, and then missed the air cushion when jumping off a cliff for art. Albert Pyun and I were email buddies in CHUD.com’s early days. How did that work out for either of us? Lee Horsley did Playgirl. I need to find that issue in my collection.



Actually… Albert Pyun has made his ‘Tales of an Ancient Empire’ but it’s a shitty vampire movie that is about Prince Talon’s kids (one of which is Kevin Sorbo) trying to find him but fuck that movie. Watch this trailer and then shit in your hand:




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