As you can read here and here, my good friend, The Paranormal Activity Demon, is on a worldwide mission to find his lost love, the big-breasted lady from Paranormal Activity. He keeps me updated on his search via letters, which he’s requested I publish on CHUD.

Dear Mr. Chud,


Am demon. Am 1/10000000000 of Legion. All activity Paranormal Activity when demon.

Leave Next Door Lady house. Heart hurt. Miss boobs. Cry.

Next Door Lady hear. “Stop, I say” say she. “Come in. Back in.” I come in back in. “Look” say she. TV. Ladies on again. Dedicate self to watch bettermore this time.

Get to know lady’s bettermore this time. Learn names: Carry, Samanda, Sharlot, Miranga. Different hair. Same problems. Life cruel that way.

Ladies’ story mix more together this time. Carry want marry Big Mister. He no TV man yet. Dress nice. Handsome. Good catch, Carry! Soon Carry, he only want TV. Must deal w/that when time come.

Want apartment together. Not married. No Carry security. Get married. Carry security. Love in the air!!!

Now short hair Lady story. Forgot name and cant read what already wrote, cause cant read. Her man not like she. Six month w/out WOOPY. Bad, short hair Lady. Not good for love. Why no WOOPY? Cause she man have WOOPY w/somone else. She kick she man out. Agree w/choice.

Now down on married. Tell Big Mister. Scare Big Mister. Big Mister no married anymore. Carry cry. Mad at Big Mister. Mad at short hair Lady. Mad mad mad. Ladies take honeymoon instead. Go to Aboo Dabee.

Look at sand this time. Make self. Stay strong but still no see big boob girl. Sad. But trial good for Paranormal Activity Demon growth.

Other girl like WOOPY all time. Parts not too old yet. Man not enough WOOPY. Want more WOOPY. But want good man not sad. No cheat. Eat instead. Make self ugly with fat. Been there. We all hiding fat girl deep down, sister. What matter, how you deal. Soon your part get rusty and need medicine for WOOPY. Enjoy time, have. Tomorrow is today, Don Henley say.

One girl have baby tummy. Forget name. She scared baby be Paranormal Activity Demon or retardy or heart on outside. Cause life too good. Everything good, big bad on way, right? This lady spoiled brat. Next Door Lady laugh and agree w/me. In future, lady have no me time. Deserve no me time! Like her no more.

All thing work out in end. Carry and Big Mister married. Happy until he watch much TV soon. Fat girl WOOPY way to thin again. Other ladies stupid and dont matter.

Next Door Lady go sleep. Lonely now. No know what do next. TV Ladies boobies too small. One lady w/bra-less very big boob. But movie look unoften enough at boob heaven. What?! Paranormal Activity Piss-Off!!! Make remember what start to forget. Boob lady. She okay? Life bad without boob. TV boob no help. Sex in City 2 better cause only watch 1/2.

Me take one day at time. Pease out.