We’re
entering a new age here at CHUD, with a refreshed stable of writers, a
re-energized concentration of efforts, and a focus on consistent,
knowledge-backed fun. To ring in this new era for the site we wanted to
bring you a truly special, truly memorable, truly incredible list that
characterizes what CHUD is about, and we think we’ve cooked up just the
thing.


BODILY FUNCTION JUNCTION
The 25 Grossest, Most Execrable Moments in Film.

We’re
here to explore the most depraved, flinch-worthy, vomit-inducing (or
vomit-involving) moments ever put to film. We’re not interested in
simple gore and viscera here… We’re looking for the shittiest, pusiest,
cummiest, pukeiest, piss-filled scenes in the history of
motion-pictures. Some will be huge, some will be small, but they’ll all
be gross. We’ve also put an unprecedented amount of effort into
pre-planning, scheduling, and dividing the effort for this list, so
expect it to hit you every one of the next 25 weekdays (with a number of
special surprises planned for the weekends!).


So without further
ado, grab your nearest complimentary airsick bag (or maybe just a whole
trashcan) and jump into CHUD’s newest list.


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DAY 13

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THE MOVIE?




Trainspotting (1996)

When I was a teenager first delving into serious cinema, I used to sneak into the local arthouse joint. Hell, I don’t think I ever paid for a ticket until I turned 18. All of the films I wanted to see were R rated and my youthful ass always got carded. In the Summer of 1996 and I wanted to see the movie with the Iggy Pop music. I could never recall the title of the film, but I knew that it had Lust for Life blaring through it. After buying a ticket to Joe’s Apartment, I slipped into Trainspotting and eagerly awaited something cool. Ten minutes into the flick, Renton scored a few opium suppositories to satisfy his urges. The result was a trip to the worse toilet in Scotland. 

THE LOCATION




THE CULPRIT?




When opium is compressed into rectal suppository form, the waxy feeling sticks in the lower G.I. tract for hours. The warmth of the body begins to dissolve the casing, sending mild sensations of euphoria through the user’s body. That’s all fine and dandy until you’ve got to shit it out. Renton begins his hunt for a toilet, as he slips into Edinburgh’s gambling district. Finding what’s declared to be the worst toilet in Scotland, Renton decides to pop a squat. A few quick splashes later and Renton realizes that he’s lost his junk in the fecal Alpo mix. That’s when Renton decides to fish it out.

WHERE WILL IT GO?


 
Danny Boyle seems to be fascinated by shit. While the scene I selected today was in Irvine Welsh’s source novel, Boyle brought the terror of fecal diving to new heights. Some might recall a similar sequence in the first reel of Slumdog Millionaire, but that sequence feels more humorous than Renton’s shit bowl dive. The sense of desperation onscreen is truly terrifying and sad, as you watch a junkie try to get that one last fix before going clean. Anyone that dives into a bowl of shit for a fix isn’t ever going to get clean. You know this, I know this, Irvine Welsh knew this and so does Renton.



When we watch Renton finally go into the bowl, it’s the first of many fantasy sequences that dot Trainspotting. Playing around with the hallucinatory experience of the heroin user, we watch as Renton turns something disgusting into a Lewis Carroll like adventure through modern Scottish plumbing.



There’s a lot going on in this sequence, as Danny Boyle specifically chose original author Irvine Welsh to be the one that gave Renton the enema. When you go back in rewatch the start of the enema sale, Walsh almost seems knowing of the end-result. Renton smiles and reluctantly takes what Mikey Forrester (Welsh) offers him. Walsh as Forrester almost breaks the Fourth Wall, as he helps Renton to set the tone for the film. No one ever quits without experiencing some true horror.


SWIMMING TO COMMODIA




ANY CASUALTIES?




No one dies. Obi-Wan probably got a mouthful of wet shit while diving for his smack.

HOW GROSS IS IT?

No one likes shit. I don’t care what you’ve seen two girls do with a cup, nobody likes shit. It’s repugnant and it’s hard-wired to your basic programming to turn away from the little pellets we leave behind. This sentiment serves as part of the larger outlook for Trainspotting. Edinburgh, Scotland is full of rich cultural history and it’s considered to be one of the shining jewels of the British Empire. When you actually go behind the tourism curtain, you realize that it’s home to one of the Western World’s largest black markets. There’s a healthy percentage of the population that lives beneath the poverty line. If that’s not enough, they’ve just recently got their teenage gang problem under control. In the end, what’s truly gross? Diving for shit in a stained toilet at the back of a betting hall or what causes a person to take the plunge?

Today’s installment written by Troy Anderson