We’re entering a new age here at CHUD, with a refreshed stable of writers, a re-energized concentration of efforts, and a focus on consistent, knowledge-backed fun. To ring in this new era for the site we wanted to bring you a truly special, truly memorable, truly incredible list that characterizes what CHUD is about, and we think we’ve cooked up just the thing.

BODILY FUNCTION JUNCTION
The 25 Grossest, Most Execrable Moments in Film.

We’re here to explore the most depraved, flinch-worthy, vomit-inducing (or vomit-involving) moments ever put to film. We’re not interested in simple gore and viscera here… We’re looking for the shittiest, pusiest, cummiest, pukeiest, piss-filled scenes in the history of motion-pictures. Some will be huge, some will be small, but they’ll all be gross. We’ve also put an unprecedented amount of effort into pre-planning, scheduling, and dividing the effort for this list, so expect it to hit you every one of the next 25 weekdays (with a number of special surprises planned for the weekends!).

So without further ado, grab your nearest complimentary airsick bag (or maybe just a whole trashcan) and jump into CHUD’s newest list.


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DAY 4

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WARNING:  It’s labeled NSFW for a reason.  Gratuitous penis to follow…
(It’s also really spoilery)


THE MOVIE?

Antichrist (2009)

Lars von Trier’s multi-layered, horribly graphic and wonderful (relative term) film about loss, grief, gender power dynamics, sexuality and fucked-up foxes stars Willem DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg as an unnamed married couple who have just lost their only child.  In an effort to deal with the grief and hopefully find a way to cope, the two take a trip out to their cabin in the woods where shit gets progressively fucked.

The Setup:  DaFoe’s character confronts his wife about the autopsy performed on their child.  Once it’s made clear that she had been systematically deforming the child’s feet, she flies into guilt-ridden hysterics and essentially rapes him after clocking him in the back of the head with a piece of wood.



Convincing herself that he no longer loves her, she dismounts, grabs a large hunk of tree trunk and proceeds to shatter his manhood.



With a sickening thunk, his testicles are scuttled off to the Land of the Flattened and every guy in the audience gets sick to their stomach.  As he lies there unconscious, his scrotum housing a living nightmare, she lies down beside him, seemingly oblivious to what has just happened.

But if that isn’t bad enough…

THE GROSS?


While he’s lying there, in unbearable agony that he can’t even feel yet due to being in shock and being less than awake, she takes hold of his Li’l Willem and proceeds to give him what one can only assume is the SINGLE WORST HANDJOB EVER.  And that’s when this happens:



An awful, milky mixture of semen, blood and pureed manhood come shooting out of what is now, literally, his junk.

WHO DOES IT COME OUT OF?



This guy.  But, due to our natural tendency to project ourselves into the characters we’re seeing on screen, it comes out of all of us as well.  And that, my friends, is the worst fucking thing ever.

WHERE DOES IT GO?



All over his wife.  In some other circumstances, this could be seen as a good thing.  NOT HERE.

ANY CASUALTIES?

Two testicles and the sex drive of every guy in the room.

HOW GROSS IS IT?

I dunno if it’s so much gross as it is goddamned horrible.  Just writing this made my stomach turn.  And yes, it gets worse from here…WAY, way way fucking worse.  But you’ll have to watch that shit for yourself.

Okay, here’s a peek:



Today’s installment written by Jeremy G. Butler