As you can read here, my good friend, The Paranormal Activity Demon, is on a worldwide mission to find his lost love, the big-breasted lady from Paranormal Activity. He keeps me updated on his search via letters, which he’s requested I publish on CHUD.

Dear Mr. Chud,


Am demon. Am 1/10000000000 of Legion. All activity Paranormal Activity when demon.

Try find lady friend. She big breast. 1 yr pass. Maybe not so pretty now w/time. Love anyway. Time not make heart sag, too.

Go to next door. Next Door Lady say “Lady not there.” Watching TV. Ladies there. Maybe she there. Popcorn.

Four ladies. One call Clydesdale. One call Madonna. One call Degeneris. One call Boring Lady. Each have two,000,000 dollar$. Not impressed boobs. Would never search for. Still human tho. Have feel. Want love, is all. Ringo Starr say “All u need is love.” True, Ringo. True.

Clydesdale’s love act like reg man. Boring love. TV all time. Snooze. Paranormal Activity Demon know how it go, sister. Go where men know no TV. Find John Corbett. No. Stay way from Corbett, sister. Corbett from Heaven. Heaven more bore than TV, sister.

Madonna part rusty. Need part medicine so enjoy men. Otherwise oral. Hard for lady this day/age to grow old. Love only medicine heal life, sister. Ringo Starr say “All u need is love.” Madonna still fail this learn. That okay. She know: learn love self, rest follow. Paranormal Activity Demon not so brave.

Degeneris not still in mind. Um, work lot. Short hair. Um, move on. No wait! Remember something. No…not mind. Move on.

Boring Lady boring. 2 kid. Bald love. Kid loud. Where me time? Where? Have no 2 kid, but understand time alone need. Should be happy w/love tho. Bald love seem great. Water seed, tree grow. Love tree. He accept Boring Lady. Most can ask, this day/age.

Ladies go Aboo Dabee. Sand galore. Mountains but not rock. Sand. Paranormal Activity Demon hate sand. It course and rough and irritating. It get everywhere. Ringo Starr say “Yucky sand” Yes, Ringo. Yes.

Make Next Door Lady change channel when sand. See much not of movie that way. Maybe miss girl that way. Sometime Paranormal Activity Demon hate self. So stupid and so weak.

If Internet alive in Aboo Dabbee, email pls… Maybe she there where old ladies there. So small world without breast love.

Me take one day at time. Pease out.