In
a business filled with non-news I am proud to use a news article on a
non-news item that has begun to circulate, but not to further the lack
of news and legitimize it but to call it out and tell you that though
the actor in question may eventually star in the film in question if the
film in question actually ever gets made, the current status of such
events is dogshit of the highest magnitude.

There is a story that Brad Pitt is the number one candidate to star in the proposed feature adaptation of the excellent game Red Dead Redemption. It originated on an integrity challenged gossip blog [ick!] and made its way to an actual website I admire. IGN! Here is the cutting edge news:

Sources say the Hollywood heartthrob is the hot favorite to play
renegade outlaw John Marston in an epic cowboy shoot-em-up based on the
PlayStation game.

“This is an exciting project with a great character at the center of it,” a source said.

“The idea is to make this in the style of an epic Western movie but with a few modern touches.

“Brad is perfect for the role and he is being given first refusal.”

Guess
what? First refusal means that Brad has a window of time all to himself
to decide if he’s interested in making the movie. Pretty much
everything A-list actors and some B-list actors get has that privilege,
something I know a little about firsthand as a recent project I’m
involved it ground to a halt for over a month as a big name mulled it
alongside countless other projects before passing. First refusal means
nothing when discussing a film project. It’s something stars get, but if
you think that the Rockstar adaptation is the only thing on Brad Pitt’s
desk (including others likely with funding, a good creative team, and
ones based on successful books, games, comics, and existing movies) then you’re a bonehead.

It’s not news. Also, Red Dead Redemption‘s
not a Playstation game. It’s also an XBOX game, the version I chose to
buy because the Xbox is better. Shit like this annoys me, because it
seems that people still go out of their way to just create buzz out of
vapor. Red Dead Redemption
is an amazing game with rich storytelling and extremely cinematic
elements (though the fact it’s a Western does taint its financial
prospects) and it’s from a developer that constantly churns out winners.
I don’t think it’d be difficult to envision 100 million bucks being
rounded up to make it happen and Pitt’s shown he can bounce between
prestige projects and big budget movies effortlessly. He’d make a good
lead for it.

But
because they sent him the script and gave him an exclusive window to
decide if he is interested is nothing. It happens every day to a bunch
of people in the movie industry. It means nothing.

On a similar note, Zoe Saldana has first refusal on my penis for the evening.


But at least I got to paste a beautiful image from a Western that Pitt actually made, the delightful and gorgeous The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, a film about as many people have seen as the vaporware Red Dead Redemption flick.