It’s hard to believe that Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock haven’t done a flick together [Trivia: she auditioned for the role of AIDS in Philadelphia], considering that they are the Lord and Lady of The Romantic Comedy. But they haven’t. It seems like fate has somehow kept them apart, like when she was replaced at the last second by outer space in Apollo 13 or when he hurt his hip and was unable to fulfill his responsibility to portray The Net in The Net.

But I think we’re about to discover what’s stronger than the fates. The only thing that can unite two massive fireballs in a universe filled with promise and stardust.


That said, your hopes for a romantic comedy featuring the two set against the horrific and staggering events of that date must be tabled, because Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is not such a film. It’s based on a book about a boy who finds a key his WTC’d dad left behind and sets about trying to find the lock it opens. Sounds like something Oprah would recommend, but I haven’t read the book. It could be a delightful and moving chunk o’ words. Having not read it, I don’t know if Hanks is to possibly portray Extremely Loud or Incredibly Close. My instincts tell me Bullock is playing Incredibly Close [no relation to Glenn].

Please don’t be a flashback movie where we see the happy father as played by Hanks enjoying his son and wife [Bullock, no relation to Jim J.] intercut with the mopey young dude solving the mystery while his shell of a mother deals with sadness and a boring son who likes keys.

Here’s hoping the climactic unlocking doesn’t reveal that his dead dad liked taking pictures of himself smashing it on the shitter. Letdown!

It’s moot anyhow because the Variety article I got this from is the vaguest thing in town. Hanks and Bullock haven’t even begun negotiations, there’s no greenlight, and they (Warners and Paramount) haven’t worked out distribution.

So basically this is all dogshit.