People make a big deal out of free shit all the time and unless you are
absolutely destitute I don’t see how a keychain that reads “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” is worth losing your shit over. And if you’re a broke bitch, what kind of keys do you have anyway?

I don’t see how a t-shirt from a radio station you don’t even like is going to improve your day.

It’s just more shit to carry.

I
bought a car last week. A really nice and sporty one. It’s the second
car I’ve bought that came with satellite radio. The first one had my
satellite radio of choice, XM Radio. This one has Sirius, which I am
very much not a fan of. The merger being what it is, I assumed I could
live with Sirius without too much headache.

Wrong.
I subscribe to satellite radio for one reason, baseball. There’s a talk
channel devoted solely to baseball which I cherish and every single
game played in the majors plays on XM’s network. Every game. It’s all I
need.

The new car comes with six free months of Sirius. They are very proud of this.

Problem
is, I already have two XM accounts. I don’t need or want a Sirius
account, but since they’ve merged I figured I’d just upgrade the free
account to a full account and cancel one of my XMs.

Nope.
They tell me that my car isn’t compatible with the full XM/Sirius
package and that I need to let my six months of free Sirius expire
before changing it. They really think that their free package that
doesn’t include anything I want at all is pretty spiffy. I mean, I have
an iPhone app that allows me to listen to my baseball games and XM
stations on the phone but I’m more than happy to sign up for another
membership and they aren’t interested. My brand new high tech and fully
digital nav/stereo is updated electronically from outer space yet
Sirius cannot find a way to get the particular (and their most
expensive) package to work on it.

The
only plan Sirius has that even allows me to listen to my baseball talk
station was lame, because as great as satellite radio is Sirius finds a
way to redneck it up. XM had Extreme Comedy, Sirius has Naughty Dog. I
decide to get the minimal upgrade for my car and make do with the
iPhone when I wanted to listen to Yankees games. It wasn’t the best way
to do it, but it was something.

So I upgraded. Went to my car. Nothing.

I
went inside and looked online. Sirius was still very proud of their
useless six month free subscription. They added my new purchase to kick
in once the six months were up. So, I could listen to baseball just as
the season was ending.

I canceled the six month free trial, which offended Sirius.

“But it’s free!” spoke the lady on the phone.

“But it’s not what I want!” spoke I.

“Well, you could enjoy the free service and then decide on a plan.”

“I
have had XM Radio since the day they announced they’d be carrying Major
League Baseball. It’s the only reason I have satellite radio. I’ve
listened throughout the network from time to time but believe me when I
say that free isn’t a motivation for me because you get what you pay
for most of the time.”

Finally, she canceled the free account and activated the paid one.

That was three days ago. The new plan still isn’t on my unit.

Free’s
good when you’re testing a video game or app or when someone is being
gracious. But when it comes to stuff like this, it’s best to just pay
for the damn thing and be done with it.

Now, feel free to listen to all our recent tunes for free!