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Though CHUD.com’s not for everyone, stuff like

04/22 – And the winner of ‘Most Deserving of a Rearending’ is…

Photo by Nick Nunziata.

Civil War Dinner Theater.

Never thought you’d see those words together, did you? At a church no less. Folks, the lines between reality and some alternate universe phase shift where somehow the South won the war and all black things exploded has blurred in some parts of the United States’ nether regions.

Color me baffled at the desire of folks to obsess over the Civil War at all. Color me mystified that I still see bumper stickers on vehicles [typically mud-encrusted trucks] that mention the war, whether it be the mindbendingly dumb “The South will Rise Again” shit or some sort of sour grapes lunacy about how much “Yankees Suck”, and not the team. Wait, don’t color me. Don’t want to piss off the sixth generation mulleted son of a slave owner. He did not vote for Obama.

What would happen at a Civil War dinner theater? Never mind. My tiny mind already hurts from it.