Look at that happy pappy. NOT a Chewer. Not the kind of guy I’d have drinks with. I don’t do chablis.

That’s ol’ John Gray, the fellow who wrote Men are from Klendathu, Women are from Yavin. Or something like that. He’s a doctor who specializes in making men and women think about shit and make decisions about each other based on their differences or something. I’m working on a book on the subject called You Have a Hole, I Have Something Reverse Hole-Shaped, but until then he can continue ruling the charts. Why is this mug on this site instead of someone attractive like Rawhead Rex or Monica Bellucci?

Because his book is being turned into a movie. Probably starring Matthew McConaughy, Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, and Mammon from Constantine. Help me.

The Hollywood Reporter (who doesn’t have stupid restricted access and therefore deserve links) shares that Gale Berman (best known for Buffy, Angel, and for being the props coordinator on Steel Dawn) and Lloyd Braun (best known for this article) have convinced Summitt Entertainment that their Twilight movies don’t represent enough wood shards in my urethra and that film and television needs more nightmares. Hence Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Oh my gosh, people with cocks act so weird sometimes! So do people with titpussies! Wow! Script written.

Unless John Carter figures prominently, this movie can fuck off*.

This part of the article really hurts my pooper, because in reality men and women shouldn’t be so damn gullible.

The “Mars/Venus” property already has seen several media
incarnations: It inspired a short-lived talk show, produced by Merv
Griffin Entertainment and distributed by Sony, in 2000, and a
musical comedy that bowed on Broadway in 1997. In addition, Gray’s
video/DVD lecture series has earned more than $100 million.



John Gray can afford to pick up the bill at EARTH.

“Sir, that is the White House and we have a tenant.”

“I’m John Gray. I buy this White House. Now leave me and my glass of lavender tea!”





















* One day you talkbackers will realize these articles serve a purpose. Levity and penis shard jokes.