I figured in addition to the large List of

columns that run a couple

times a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since

absolutely no shortage of dumb shit out there
in the world.

keep this thing going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS

please spread the word through your Tweets and Facebook and

Though CHUD.com’s not for everyone, stuff like this is!
03/18 – “Did
someone close to you eat a Fun Dip recently…”

Photo by Brian

Tart cards? See I might pay for that…

“You will go on a spree.”

“A killing spree? A shopping spree?”

“Spree, the delightful hard candy. You tart card has been read. That’ll be twenty dollars. Have a sweetened day.”

The tarot asshole should have first looked into the present as they proofread their copy.

Then they should have looked into the future and seen that they’re in a dumb profession.

Then they should have looked into the past and seen where they fucked up and became a tarot asshole instead of a man.

Then they should have looked further into the future as they filed their income taxes in sadness just as their limited customer base filled out their own income taxes and pondered suicide while they try to figure out how to classify spending their money on a tarot asshole. Since there’s no space on the form for ‘frivolous bogus expenses on faux magic’, to avoid shame they just list it as child porn expenses.

Then they should look further into the future and told me when we’ll be fighting aliens made of glass in hoverchairs. Even if they’re fake, that’s information I personally need.