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STUDIO: Warner Home Video
MSRP: $14.98
RATED: Unrated
RUNNING TIME: 47 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Featuring Kylie Minogue singing “Monkey Man”
• Safety Around Dogs with RSPCA inspector Matt French
• Two bonus Wiggle and Learn episodes: The Black Velvet Band and Let’s Get the Rhythm of the Feet
• Bonus Dorothy the Dinosaur episode: Vegetable Soup!
• Photo gallery

The Pitch
Let’s bang out ANOTHER children’s sing-along DVD and count the cash.

The Humans
Murray Cook, Jeff Fatt, Anthony Field, Sam Moran, Kylie Minogue, John Waters

The Nutshell
The Wiggles, international superstars and men about town, entertain you with yet another sing-along DVD to corrupt your youth.  Kylie Minogue guest stars to provide some eye candy for the fathers who are forced to watch.

The Lowdown
So, yeah.  The Wiggles.  If you’re a parent, chances are you’re very familiar with them.  If not, here’s the scoop:  They’re rich.  Obscenely rich.  They are a worldwide phenomenon of children’s entertainment that originated in Australia.  They have their own TV show and touring act that travels the entire world to terrorize children and soak parents for money.
The focus this time?  Animals.  Australian animals.  Does your kid want to learn about wombats?  Well, here’s a quick 30 second intro with a live wombat followed by a 3 minute ‘catchy’ song about the little bastards.  Wash/rinse/repeat with various other animals that can be found in Australia.


GOD HATES US ALL!  GOD HATES US ALL!


Kylie Minogue shows up at the very beginning to sing a song with the rest of the Wiggles.  Something’s wrong with your career when you have to show up on a Wiggles DVD to give your career a jolt, but there ya go.  Oh, and she’s officially introduced as the PINK WIGGLE by the other guys.  Sorry, that joke’s too easy.

All of the songs are performed against cheesy CGI backgrounds.  I’ll have to admit, the songs are reasonably catchy enough to not drive a parent insane with rage.  That’s probably important, as parents are going to be forced to listen to this DVD in the minivan over and over again while little Billy fills up his diaper in the back seat.


But shoot it in the right direction! Make making it your intention! (ooh yeah, ooh yeah)
Live those dreams, scheme those schemes! Got to hit me (hit me) hit me (hit me)
hit me with those laser beams!


One of the Wiggles really bothers me, though.  Jeff, the ‘Purple Wiggle’, is one creepy looking dude.  He has one of those putty faces that constantly morphs into something that Rick Baker would take inspiration from.


Satan, my master, I slit my wrist to drain me of my blood


Look, I’m not the target audience for this kind of DVD.  I don’t have kids, and my wife and I don’t plan on having any kids.  If you have kids, go nuts.  I certainly didn’t detect anything subliminal in all of this.


SATAN


The Package
The main feature and all of the bonus material are contained on one DVD.  My children’s entertainment threshold was reached before I could sample the bonus material.

Gaath out of 10