I’m excited about the new Conan movie because its idea of prestige casting is Mickey Rourke in a glorified cameo and the green girl from Star Trek as the female lead. To be fair, Rachel Nichols was also the super-hot Scarlett in GI Joe last summer, but it’s more fun to be dismissive.

Latino Review reports that Nichols has landed the role of Tamara, Conan’s love interest. The casting breakdowns describe Tamara as:

is 18 to 24 years old, Caucasian or Middle Eastern, open to all
ethnicities; beautiful, studious, correct, a novitiate of a Greek
influenced monastery. A master of martial arts, she has been trained to
be the Queen’s servant, bodyguard and best friend. She and
many other female bodyguards to the queen have been in hiding most of
their lives because of the curse of Acheron, which would take the
queen’s life to bring almost immortal power to its king. When
Khalar Singh, a powerful warlord with ambitions to become the king of
Acheron, storms the monastery and captures all of the novitiates, she
is separated from Ilira, the one she must protect. With all of her
strength and will, Tamara is determined to find and rescue her. She
finds herself in league with Conan because of a mutual need to find
Khalar Singh. She is not in the least intimidated by Conan’s
size or grim demeanor and their alliance eventually blossoms into
something that surprises them both… LEAD

That’s ‘lead role,’ not that their alliance blossoms into ‘lead the metal.’

Conan shoots
this summer in some godforsaken Eastern Bloc nation. Conan is being
played by the guy who was a Klingon or some shit on one of the Stargate shows.