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STUDIO: MTI Home Video
RATED: Not Rated
RUNNING TIME: 95 minutes
Worse than National Lampoon’s shit.
Director: Vincent Scordia
Writer: Jeff Siegel
Music Composed By: Shawn K. Clement
Cast: Corey Feldman, Brian O’Halloran, Bronson Pinchot, Parker Croft, Jim deProphetis, Allyson Muñoz, Ted Sangalis, Leah Viens-Gordon, Alison Whitney, Burt Brooks, Josh Macuga
High school kids have sex.
“I’m more than an actor. I’m an icon, an industry.”
Hooking Up is one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. The teen sex comedies have dated back many years and, even the worse ones remains guilty pleasures. Flicks like Porky’s and even some National Lampoon movies give all the tits and sex you can handle but retains a slight humor that makes you laugh at least once or twice.
There are no real laughs in Hooking Up at all. The movie also features a number of actors I like in what might be the worst performances of their careers. Corey Feldman is a 25-year old that likes to date high school students. Brian O’Halloran is the principal, and makes his debut acting in Clerks look good in comparison. Of the name actors, only Bronson Pinchot seems to be having fun in his role.
The young stars of the movie are horrendous and the storyline is ridiculous. There is a girl who loves to give blowjobs to everyone but doesn’t believe that makes her a slut because she is still a virgin. There are also three guys who hang out all day talking about deviant sexual acts, while never actually getting to first base. None of it is funny and none of it is clever. There is an abundance of nudity and lots of sexual acts, including some involving a fifteen year old and her teacher. It is completely wrong on every level.
“Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!”
Now, I will take the time to talk about the quality of the movie. The sound quality is horrendous. The entire movie feels like the audio was recorded in a vacuum. This is the second movie in a row that I have reviewed where I have to question the production company’s mastering of the movies. The video is also bad and this is one of the poorest, most amateur DVD releases I have seen. Between this and Pandemic, I am shocked at the low levels of quality films these companies are releasing.
I’ll give this movie a little bonus for the tits. Otherwise, this is a movie to avoid at all costs. DO NOT WATCH THIS GARBAGE! There are NO redeeming qualities about this movie.
Thank God, there is nothing on this DVD other than the movie. I don’t think I could have handled much more than this. Amazon claims there are extras on the DVD but there were none of the screener they sent us. If they don’t send the actual DVD, they don’t get any credit for the extras.
0.5 out of 10