Joe Johnston, director of The First Avenger: Captain America, told journalists at the junket for The Wolfman that he needed to have his Cap cast by March 1st. It’s February 24th, so no surprise that names are floating out of Marvel’s lockdown. I’ve been hearing that they have their list down to one or two guys, although Deadline Hollywood has a much longer list of folks Marvel would like to see wield the shield.

And most of them are bad.

Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl.

He was supposed to be in Footloose at one point. This is a terrible choice.

John Krasinski from The Office.

What? How does? Huh?

Scott Porter from Friday Night Lights.

Eh. He’s okay. I’m not sold on him as an actor, though, but he’s not John Fucking Krasinski.

Mike Vogel from A Whole Bunch of Crap.

I guess he has the look, but Mike Vogel has never struck me as anything but a blank onscreen.

Michael Cassidy from Smallville.

No. Cut it out already. No.

Garrett Hedlund from Tron Legacy.

But he’s probably not the guy anyway, since he’s apparently chafing against Marvel’s very strict, very cheap contract.

So those are the guys Marvel is looking at. Why is this guy not on their list?

Jensen Ackles from Supernatural.

I had heard his name being bandied about a couple of months ago, so I can only assume Marvel did their due diligence, begged the correct guy to be Cap and then got turned down and now has to settle for John Fucking Krasinski.

The problem I have with so many of these guys is the utter lack of gravitas. Most of these guys don’t look like leaders of men. Most of these guys look like male models, and not the rough and tumble kind but the sort who cry when their nails get broken.

Marvel, don’t fuck this up.