STUDIO: Cartoon Network
MSRP: $69.98
RATED: Not Rated
RUNNING TIME: 1200 minutes
Not much

The Pitch

Four shows didn’t make it past the pilot phase. One show made it for a few episodes and then crapped out.

The Humans

Neko Case, George Lowe, MC Chris and C. Martin Croker

The Nutshell

Not everything produced for Adult Swim will make it to air. What we have here is a collection of four failed pilots and one lead-in to a god awful show. Most Adult Swim fans will remember the big hubbub over the Squidbillies premiere and how Perfect Hair Forever was slid-in as a last minute substitute. Perfect Hair Forever died quickly with a single season, while Squidbillies finished its third season last year. The other four pilots work better in theory than in execution.

The Lowdown

Totally for Teens is a distant cousin to those live-action kids shows that populated Nickelodeon in its Golden Age. Taking a similar cue from Tim and Eric, this show tries to use stilted situations for awkward comedy. What it does is to produce an awkward comedy of teens looking disturbed on camera. Sure, the Beauty Pageant Jamaican Skit video was funny. But, it’s not something that I could see leading into a regular show.

Clyde Kusatsu watches you poop.

Cheyenne Cinnamon and the Fantabulous Unicorn of Sugar Town Candy Fudge sports some god awful computer animation. Neko Case leads a fun romp through a teenybopper infused Jem knock-off. What sucked about this pilot is the lack of focus. Is she a teen parody or is she supposed to be a hard rocker? The living mountain of Cocaine was funny, but the main story with the pregnant teen went nowhere. Plus, the ending was tacked on. Screw that.

I was into this chick since before it was cool.

Korgoth of Barbaria has developed a following since its pilot aired a few years back. People like to watch a shirtless thug carve people into tiny pieces. The show wasn’t that funny, but it spent its pilot opening up a world that was ripe for discovery. Sure, I can name a list of shows that played well with the ancient barbarian world. But, this program played with what it had and never received a decent shake.

The Romerian-Hyborean Age.

Welcome to Eltingville and Perfect Hair Forever are the two shows that got major rotation on Adult Swim. Hell, Eltingville tends to get pulled out for the Sunday night block when some shows aren’t available to air. It’s a basic setup for Evan Dorkin’s amazing humor, as we get to watch four overly enthused collectors fight it out over a Boba Fett doll. Perfect Hair Forever is the pilot to a short-lived series dedicated to Adult Swim’s hatred of anime. It’s funny when you see the first rip on Anime. Then, the show becomes tired as it hammers the lameness of Eastern Animated Entertainment into the ground.

You can feel this show’s suck through the screenshot.

The Package

DVD doesn’t sport any special features, but it gives you the chance to watch these hard-to-find shows. While I don’t advocate the full release of Perfect Hair Forever, I’d like to see some sort of commentary to explain it away. The other shows are fun to have in the building a history of Adult Swim sense. But, there’s still a ton of other pilots floating out in the animated wilderness. Pull those in for a future Pilots discs and you’ve got my interested.

7.0 out of 10