“I already work around the clock!” would be funnier if he said “I already work around the cock!” Starring Whorison Ford. I like really juvenile jokes that way. Just like I find that most movies are funny if you substitute one word in the title with poop. Like Stop Making Poop, or The Dark Poop (or also The Poop Knight). Poop. The Pooping of a Chinese Bookie. Boogie Poops. Good Poop Hunting. A Poop Called Wanda. Etc.


There was a time, let’s call it before Regarding Henry, that Harrison Ford as a brand name for people like me, people who grew up on Indy and Star Wars, that he could do no wrong, but the 21st century has produced nothing of worth from the actor. Watching Ford on his press tour, listening to a grumbly old man, it’s somewhat depressing, and that flicker in the eyes that came out when he was dancing with an Amish chick to Sam Cooke’s Wonderful World has been on short supply for a long ass time. that Extreme Measures – or wait, no it’s Extraordinary Measures (the sequel to Ordinary Measures, from what I hear) – should be dead on the vine is not all that surprising. Ford no longer has a cache with an audience, nor does Brendan Fraser, especially not in dramas. In fact, both actors can still sell an action film, but yelling about research? Not so much.

The Rock, however should be an action star, but seems to have found some life in doing shitty kids films. Perhaps his work in Adam McKay’s upcoming The Other Guys will open other venues for him. Still Tooth Fairy looks like dross, but should be the #2 picture of the week on its way to a – what – $60 to $80 total? For the record The Game Plan is one of the worst films ever made. For the record.

Someone asked me on the boards to write about the impact the Golden Globes had/have. This year: none. Up in the Air would be the film to help, and it got a Screenplay award, which is a concession prize. Jason Reitman should be so lucky come Oscar time. I thought The Hurt Locker was adapted, so now that I’m looking, Reitman has a very good shot of getting an Oscar if Precious isn’t also a possible. Now that I think about it, since Monique is starting to act respectable, that would be the prize to give it. Why? I have no idea. If the Globes rallied around Up in the Air, maybe that film would zoom back to life, but that didn’t happen. And it’s not going to, it’s not in the discussion for Picture or Director. Partly because it’s not in the discussion. It’s a Babel.

Legion is supposed to be terrible, but I can see it opening and then like Daybreakers slipping away quickly and quietly. Is a $20 – $30 Million total a victory? Likely it’s a break-even with international.

Oh yeah, Avatar. It is going into the weekend with $515 Million, which means that it’s either on the cusp of $550 by the end of the weekend, or past it. Which puts it two to three weekends away from Avatar beating Titanic. It’s quite possible this will also be the weekend that the film surpasses Titanic for the top grossing Worldwide picture of all time. The possibility of this film not beating Titanic revolves around James Cameron being found with a dead girl or a live boy. And even then it should still pass $600. Is $700 Million out of reach? No. Honestly, we haven’t seen if there’s a leveling out yet (it could do $30 Million next weekend). And from what I’ve been told by director Jeff Mahler, they made a deal to keep the film in theaters on 500 3-D screens until May, which means that an $800 Million total is not out of the question. Fox has not announced the DVD deets yet, so perhaps this becomes a reissue later this year as well. 3-D screens are still very valuable though, and as long as studios keep making 3-D films, and the screens are limited, then that may limit their possibilities.


So so let’s go.

1. A Reissue of Dolemite’s Monkey Hustle - $32.5 Million
2. The Tooth Fairy – $18.7 Million
3.  The Book of Eli - $15 Million
4. Legion – $11.5 Million
5. The Lovely Bones $9.3 Million

Which puts Extraordinary People out of the top five. Fu Schnickens. Sunday we’ll play Chutes and Ladders.