I figured in addition to the large List of Dumb
columns that run a couple of times a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since there’s absolutely no shortage of dumb shit out there
in the world. Help keep this thing going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS LINK.
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12/08 – QT, Helping Shorten Lives.

Photo by Nick Nunziata.

If you eat a lot of cinnamon buns, I can guarantee that life will be shorter. QT is an iconoclast in their marketing, begging folks to eschew things that prolong lives in favor of disgusting puffs of nightmare glaze. The only people in the world who should be allowed to eat cinnamon buns are Louis C.K. and morbidly obese people who are a cinnamon bun away from heart explosion. It’s like when Hardees went against the grain and started promoting these burgers than were bigger than a Dinklage on a moped. They were daring good ‘ol boys to come in and eat these giant hunks of medium rare flesh as if auditioning for The Beast WitIIn. The result is dead fatties, plumbers scratching their head at the stoppage, and the further dominance of saturated fats.

Thanks, QT!