So guys, how’s it going? I was thinking about your show the other day, likely the first time anybody has done so since you went off the air. Of course, that’s assuming anybody actually paid the show any mind when it was even airing. I know I did, at least once.

It was out of curiosity more than anything else. I remember asking myself, “Shasta McNasty? How could someone have such strong feelings toward such a modest soft drink? Little did I know that it was a show about guys whose daily schedule might simply read “wacky antics, shitty rap/rock, more wacky antics.”

The show didn’t last, of course. Let’s not kid ourselves; it wasn’t mean to. Some shows transcend the laws of nature and are just too much for the world to handle. We just weren’t ready for Shasta. Not yet. Some shows are just of too high a quality to provide any recognizable entertainment value. You might wonder why, then, I tuned in to you fellows all of three times. I humbly submit that it was a rebellious time in my youth. I was going to watch UPN and nobody was going to stand in my way! Programming quality be damned!

With that, let us take a moment to remember our fallen channel. Oh, UPN. Without you, we never would have had Homeboys in Outer Space. A world without that program is one in which I would not care to live.

But enough of tragedy. How have you guys been? I’m sure your careers have skyrocketed post-McNasty. Further inspection shows that one of you is solving crimes in New York with Gary Sinise. I must ask, does he ever talk about Reindeer Games? I bet he’s got some stories there. It’s an impressive accomplishment, either way. However, it’s not nearly as commendable as your Shasta compatriot’s role as Tech # 1 in Time Cop: The Berlin Decision. Bravo, sir. It has also come to my attention that one of you is Jake Busey. For that, my condolences.

Well that’s all I have for now, gentlemen. Hopefully life is treating you as well as a star of Shasta McNasty can expect. Keep up the good work.

Yours in Christ,
Devin Coombs

P.S. Any word from li’l Verney Troyer? He was so adorable on your show. Little tyke must almost be in high school by now!