I have been highly skeptical of 3D movies for some time now. I have considered them a fad and a gimmick. I have never seen anything that convinced me that 3D movies (or stereoscopic movies as the real losers like to call them) are anything more than a way of getting people into movie theaters. I have never seen anything that showed me that 3D could be used in a really innovative, truly revolutionary way.

Until I saw that Jackass 3D is on Paramount’s 2010 release slate.

This is the moment that 3D has been waiting for. Avatar is just the John the Baptist for Jackass 3D‘s Jesus Christ, preparing the way, getting enough theaters converted to digital so that Johnny Knoxville can come right into your face. And they may very literally cum right into your face.

With the 3D process you will be in the movie. You won’t just be watching Steve-O shitting in his pants, he’ll be shitting in your pants. You won’t just be passively observing Bam Margera being a complete cock to his family, you’ll also be punching his big fat sleeping father. You won’t just be laughing when Johnny Knoxville wipes out and breaks a bone, it will be your jaw that shatters.

This is the best news I’ve heard all day and I’m not being one percent satirical. I think that Jackass is a work of genius performance art, and while I think that Jackass 2.0 wasn’t as good as the first film (or the best of the series), the possibility of having these guy’s dicks, blood, feces, vomit and other horribleness coming out of the screen right at me is just about the peak of what 3D technology can ever deliver.

Originally broken by William Goss at Cinematical.


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